


Trojan Horses

by ArcticFox999



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Background Clary Fray/Simon Lewis, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Forbidden Love, Gay For You, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Language, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Character Death, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Porn With Plot, Religion, Screw the Clave, Seelie Court, Supportive Clary Fray, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-01-07 00:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 68,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18399530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticFox999/pseuds/ArcticFox999
Summary: When the Seelie Queen forces Alec to kiss Jace, it changes everything. It sets something in motion that they don’t want to stop - especially not when they find out about the history of the parabatai bond and the secret truth the Clave has hidden from them.A novel-length story about what would happen if Jace and Alec went all in, no matter the consequences.





	1. One Kiss Was All It Took To Seal The Future

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Your Deepest Desires](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422743) by [sapphicalexandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicalexandra/pseuds/sapphicalexandra). 



> A huge THANK YOU to my beta readers for this chapter, sapphicalexandra and toromeo (ald0us)
> 
> I didn't tag everything that's going to happen in this fic as it would be too many tags and also too many spoilers. However, I did my best to tag everything that could trigger somebody. I have finished writing the whole story and am in the final stages of revision of the later chapters. I'm going to post a new chapter once a week.
> 
> The title of this chapter is taken from the song “Forbidden Love” by Madonna

The Seelie realm was full of strange plants and huge flowers that left their pollen everywhere. Alec sighed in frustration when he had to brush the stuff of his clothes _again_.

The Seelie Queen had not shown up for the Downworlder cabinet meeting but had sent Meliorn instead. Then she inconveniently had wanted Alec to come to the Seelie realm for a meeting and not only bring Jace along, but also Magnus. Alec had a bad feeling about the latter request, because why on earth did the Seelie Queen want Magnus to come? Alec wished he could have refused that particular part of the queen's request, but given how tense things were it was simply not an option. Hell, he wasn't even sure why she had insisted on Jace coming. What was the point? There had to be a reason why she hadn't shown up at the Downworlder cabinet meeting and instead insisted on the three of them coming to her court. Alec dreaded finding out what exactly that reason was. Nevertheless, he couldn't stop pondering as the three of them quietly made their way through the Seelie realm to the court.

As they walked through the gates they were greeted by three Seelies who quickly rid him and Jace of their weapons and steles, before they were all led to the queen. She was sitting on a throne that towered over her small frame.

“Your majesty,” Alec greeted her with a slight bow. “It is an honour to be invited to your court.”

"It is my pleasure to receive you as my guests," the queen responded, a smile on her child-like face. She left her throne and came towards them. "Please, sit with me," she said, and they all took a seat around a small, low table, decorated with flowers and set up for afternoon tea with a porcelain teapot, delicate little cups and a silver tablet on which a selection of pastel-coloured cupcakes sat.

Alec found the whole display utterly ridiculous, but when he threw a side-glance at Magnus and saw him looking at the cupcakes with wide eyes he barely managed to suppress a chuckle. Barely. But thank the Angel he did, offending the queen was unwise, especially given the latest developments. At least he was sure Magnus wouldn't be foolish enough to eat any of the food.

Alec’s attention was drawn back to the Seelie Queen when she said to Jace, “You have the blood of the Angel. Please, show me what it can do.”

Alec didn't even need to shoot a warning look at Jace. He knew that Jace could feel through their bond how tense he was. As a result Jace hesitated to respond.

“Don't be shy,” the queen encouraged him.

"I’m still learning how it works," Jace said, his voice calm and polite.

Alec silently thanked the Angel that Jace had found a way to decline in such a subtle manner. Jace was a brilliant diplomat when he had to be and internally, Alec was beaming with pride.

Nevertheless, Alec had come to the Seelie court also because he wanted to talk about the murders Kaelie had committed. But before he could say anything the queen got up and said, "I'd like a moment alone with the warlock."

"With Magnus?" Alec asked. "Your highness, perhaps you could discuss here. We prefer not to be separated."

“Don't worry. I'll bring him back with all his limbs attached,” the queen jested.

 

***

 

"What are they doing?" Alec, with a furious expression on his face, whispered at Jace. "We barely spoke five minutes with her and now she's been gone with Magnus for over half an hour."

“Relax,” Jace told him, putting a comforting hand on Alec's shoulder. The touch drew some of the tension out of Alec's body. “They're going to be back any minute now,” Jace reassured him. A strand of his blonde hair fell into his face as he leaned closer to Alec. “She promised she'd bring him back and you know Seelies can't lie. It's going to be okay.”

“I just don't like this at all,” Alec whispered with a frown.

A moment later the Seelie Queen returned with Magnus following her. He walked over to Alec and took his place by his side. The queen looked displeased. Whatever she had talked to Magnus about, the conversation hadn't gone her way, Alec could tell. There was something in her eyes that made Alec feel wary. They still hadn't talked about what Kaelie had done, but Alec got the strong feeling that they should leave now.

“Your majesty,” Alec said, “with your permission, we should get going.”

“But you've only just arrived,” the queen responded, her upward curling lips only underlining the look of mock-disappointment on her face.

With that Alec knew that something was definitely wrong, but it was too late before he even had time to react. As soon as the queen had spoken, vines sprouted from the ground and began to wrap themselves around Jace and Magnus, starting at the ankles and in a blink of an eye their calves where already ensnarled. Both of them struggled against the vines, but that only seemed to make them grow tighter. The vines painfully squeezed their legs and  Magnus instinctively tried to use his magic, but of course it wouldn’t work in the Seelie realm.

"It's futile to struggle," the queen said, amusement written all over her face. Alec stared at her in disbelief and horror.

"Those are __vitis veritas__ ," the she said, "enchanted vines that only obey me."

“Please, your highness, let them go,” Alec said, taking a step towards the queen. He felt a panic rising in him that was part his own fear and part coming from Jace through their bond, as Jace desperately tried to pull at the vines that had now come up to his thighs.

“But they killed several of my kind,” the queen said slowly as if she was explaining something to a small child.

“What? We didn't kill anyone!” Magnus exclaimed.

“Your majesty, there must be a mistake,” Alec said, trying to sound as calm as possible, which became increasingly difficult as the the vines grew higher and higher on Jace and Magnus. His heart was beating fast, blood pumping through his veins.

But the queen just responded, “I hear whispers from the birds, the bees and the bugs.”

Magnus, despite his situation, rolled his eyes. “You can't be serious. I stepped on a couple of ants on the way in here.”

But the Seelie Queen ignored him and instead turned her attention to Jace. “And this one,” she suddenly spat, anger written on her face, “activated the soul sword that killed so many.”

“It was an accident!” Alec rushed to Jace's defence. “Valentine tricked him. Jace thought that by touching the sword he would destroy it - along with himself. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save the Downworld.”

But there was no reasoning to be had with the Seelie Queen. “Their deaths require justice,” she simply said, suddenly calm again. “Unless, of course, you'd rather play a game.” She was smiling now. Wickedly.

“What kind of game?” Jace wanted to know, still struggling against the vines, but to no avail.

“Oh, it's simple, really,” the queen said, her smile growing wider. “All I ask is a kiss,” she said, looking Alec dead in the eye.

“A kiss?” Alec asked her in disbelief.

“Oh don’t worry, you won’t have to kiss  _ _me__ ,” the queen replied. “This game is for you, my dear Shadowhunter. The kiss that will set them free is the kiss you most desire.”

And with that Alec felt his mouth go dry and his heartbeat pick up drastically. Because there was a terrible secret buried deep inside his heart.

“Don’t be shy little Shadowhunter,” the queen said mockingly, either not noticing or not caring about the shell-shocked look Alec was giving her. He just stood there, paralysed. The Seelie Queen could not possibly know about his darkest secret, the very secret that he had tried to hide even from himself. She __couldn't__. 

“I suggest you move quickly,” the queen said, throwing that vicious smile of hers at Alec, “once the vines reach their necks, they will die.”

Alec dragged his gaze away from the queen just to see the two people he loved the most being strangled by the __vitis veritas__. He looked at Magnus. He loved him. He loved him so much. Over the last few months, they had become so incredibly close. He took a hesitant step towards the two of them. His eyes darted from Magnus to Jace, back to Magnus and then again to Jace. Did they suspect the war that was raging inside of Alec?

“Kiss Magnus already,” Jace spurred him on, “this is getting uncomfortable.”

As if to emphasise Jace's words, the vines wrapped tighter again around their bodies, pulsing and twisting violently.

The Seelie queen didn’t know his secret, she couldn’t possibly know. And he did love Magnus, he really did and that was what he was focusing on. So Alec moved forward, determined to put an end to the queen’s silly game. He reached Magnus and went in for the kiss, pouring all his love and affection into it. He didn’t want to make a show out of it but this would take everything he had to give so he deepened the kiss, allowed himself to be passionate in front of this awful audience.

He heard the vines move and broke away from Magnus. But he discovered with shock that the vines weren’t retreating,  they were growing faster now, twisting around Magnus’s waist and when he looked up to Magnus he saw disbelief in his eyes. The look Magnus gave him was dripping with disappointment and it cut through Alec’s soul.

“Why are the vines not retreating?” Alec asked in desperation. Why hadn’t this worked when he had put all his love for Magnus into the kiss? He turned to the queen, his hands turning into fists.

The queen raised an eyebrow. “Why do you think?” she said. “You can fool yourself, but the vines know the truth.”

No, no, no. If Alec had felt nervous before, he was now panicking. This wasn't happening. This was __not__ happening. This couldn't be.

Alec felt terribly exposed, more than with the memory demon, because now he was with Magnus. Alec couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt well up inside of him. Magnus had been so, so good to him, and they had a wonderful, deep, __committed__ relationship, while his feelings for Jace were beyond forbidden. They were __unthinkable__. Alec knew that he should have never ever had them in the first place, e _ _specially__ not now that he had such an amazing, gorgeous boyfriend.

And Jace. Alec knew what he had to do, deep down he did, but he couldn’t do this to Jace. Jace was his best friend, his parabatai. Alec was lucky that Jace had not turned his back on him when he had found out about his not so brotherly feelings for him. Pushing himself on Jace was the last thing he wanted to do. Jace would be __disgusted__ by him. It would ruin everything they had. Yet, this was about Jace’s life.

“Hurry up now,” the Seelie Queen said, but it barely registered with Alec. His heart was beating out of his chest. There was __no__ way he could do this … but he had no choice.

Alec couldn't believe the queen was forcing him to do this. Not only was this unfair, especially to Magnus. It was also __forbidden__. His own confused feelings were being used against him to commit a crime that could get him and Jace exiled. He swallowed hard. The vines had reached their chests. Alec was still standing next to Magnus. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

Alec was looking at his feet when he muttered, "I'm sorry," to no one in particular, his face red with shame. Then he moved towards Jace and looked up. Jace just looked confused, while Magnus audibly gasped.

The queen laughed derisively. “I told you, warlock. They always choose their own kind.”

“You are forcing his hand,” Magnus snarled at the queen, and Alec felt even more ashamed with Magnus still trying to defend him.

The queen laughed again. “Will you still be loyal to him when you find out that the Clave doesn't have the soul sword?”

Everything went dead silent. Alec froze. How had the Seelie Queen found out? And as if to answer his silent question, she said, “I told you, the birds, bees, bugs, they're all in my service.”

Seelies couldn't lie and, of course, Magnus knew that. There was no point for Alec to try and deny the truth.

"Did you know?" Magnus asked Alec, his voice rough but barely above a whisper, hurt written all over his face. The __vitis veritas__  were now up to Magnus's and Jace's shoulders, with the tips starting to brush their necks. Alec had to look away when he nodded, he couldn't look Magnus in the eye anymore. He wanted to say something, apologize. Magnus must have felt so betrayed. But with the vines starting to wrap around their necks, there was no time.

So Alec turned his head to Jace. Even now with all those conflicting emotions running through him, with the strong need to make things right with Magnus, he still knew that the only way to save them both was to kiss Jace. How many times had he dreamed about kissing Jace? And now he was going to do it, in this nightmarish perversion of his forbidden fantasies.

Alec averted his eyes as he walked over to Jace, shame, anger, fear, sadness all running through him. His heart was beating so loud that when he finally stood before Jace, he would have worried that Jace could hear it. But he didn't need to, because the bond had already synced Jace's heartbeat with his own. Alec wanted to tell Jace - and Magnus - that this didn't mean anything. But he couldn't. Not when it meant __everything__.

 

***

 

A chill of confusion washed over Jace when the vines were still wrapping him tighter and tighter and Alec started to walk towards him. Why hadn’t kissing Magnus worked? What in the world was Alec doing? Did he still have feelings for him? Jace would have never guessed that, not when Alec had been so happy with Magnus. He had never thought Alec still had romantic feelings for him, certainly not feelings so strong that Alec would still want him more than Magnus.

Alec took another step towards him and Jace was drowned in all sorts of emotions reverberating through their bond. Fear, shame, dread. So Jace sent love, he didn't want Alec to feel bad about this. It was okay. The Seelie Queen was forcing him to do this. It wouldn't change anything, not between the two of them anyway, but Magnus’s feelings were another story, and Jace felt sorrow for his parabatai.

Jace's heart synced up to the rapid beat of Alec's, something that rarely happened outside the battlefield. It was so distracting he barely noticed the vine that was now winding itself around his neck.

Then Alec finally stood in front of him, their bodies not more than a hands-breadth apart. Alec was so close. He smelled of leather and steel, and there was that pleasant, masculine scent that was so distinctly Alec. Jace wanted to tell him that it was okay, that nothing between them would change. But his throat was tight, he could barely breathe. The world around them faded away. Jace steadied himself for the kiss, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was going to be weird, he had never kissed a man before.

But there was nothing that could have prepared him for the absolute shock that hit him when he felt Alec's lips against his own.

First, it was as if he was struck by lightning. He felt a power run through his limbs that would have been strong enough to let him rip away the __vitis veritas__ , had they not already started to retreat back into the ground beneath him rather quickly. A force shot through his entire body like electricity. It sent waves of tingles down his spine, into his arms and legs and right up into his brain. It rattled him to his core. __This__ was why it was forbidden, some distant part of his brain registered.

Then all his certainty that he was was straight was ripped from him. His body's reaction to the kiss was __hard__ to ignore. It surprised him, completely, and so did the furious beating of his heart and the feeling of finally, finally being __home__.

All the longing for Clary that had kept him awake so many nights suddenly felt meaningless now that he knew what it felt like to kiss his __parabatai__. Not even the ecstasy he had felt when Simon had bitten him and that glorious vampire venom had been running through his veins could compare to the absolute rapture that overtook him as he felt Alec's soft lips even just lightly brushing against his own. Nothing he had ever experienced came close to this moment.

It felt so good, Jace was about to go mad. Their bond was blossoming between them and he could now only feel pure bliss coming from Alec, all the confusion, shame and fear from just seconds ago sunken into oblivion. And then Jace kissed Alec back. Fiercely.

Something inside him had snapped and before he realized what he was doing, he had one hand running through Alec's hair, the other arm snaking around Alec's waist, pulling him __closer__. And Alec responded, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Jace was hyper-aware of every single point of contact and he couldn't help but want more. Alec was kissing him open-mouthed now, and Jace was all too happy to accept the invitation. When their tongues met for the first time, Jace shivered. Waves of pleasure washed over him and he was flooded with love and affection and reverence. He couldn't tell anymore whether those feelings were his or Alec's. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but Alec. Alec, Alec, Alec.

Jace wanted to drown himself in Alec. He was painfully hard by now, his leather pants way to tight. When Alec, drunk on pleasure himself, pushed one of his thighs between Jace's legs, a violent shudder ran through both of them. His erection was pressed against Alec's leg and Jace would have been embarrassed had he not felt Alec's hardness pressed against him in the very same way. Kissing Alec, pressed tightly against him, Jace could feel their bond grow stronger. There was now a force circulating between them, stronger than anything he'd ever felt before. This was how their parabatai bond had always been meant to be, Jace realised. Never mind the Clave and their useless laws. It had always been meant to be like this. And more.

Something primal inside of Jace took over. Instinct told him that their bond as it was, was only half completed. It was suddenly obvious. Their bond had never been consummated. And with that thought, in determined defiance, desperate to get some friction, to feel more, Jace rocked his hips against Alec's.

And that was the mistake. A shock wave of pleasure crushed over them. They were one. Jace felt everything inside him tighten, Alec audibly groaned. Their orgasm took them by complete surprise. For a moment Jace - or was he Alec? - felt nothing but pure ecstasy. It was unexpected, delicious and it changed everything. Everything was pulsing, contracting, and their souls fused together so much tighter.

Jace was still high on the shocks running through them when the Seelie Queen's vile laughter tore them out of their blissful trace. It took Jace a couple of seconds to return to reality. He looked up and with a shock, he realised where he was. He tore himself from Alec and jumped back. Alec's eyes were wide with terror. Jace's gaze went past Alec, right at the Seelie Queen who was still laughing, looking right at them. Then realisation kicked in. Jace wasn’t embarrassed. He was mortified. He had just come inside his pants. With his parabatai. At the bloody Seelie court. In front of the goddamn queen. With his parabatai's fucking boyfriend watching.

Thinking of the latter had Jace feel sick with unexpected, unprecedented jealousy. He pushed the feeling aside instantly. His mind was racing - they could get exiled for this, if the Clave found out. And the leverage the Seelies now held over them … calling it a disaster didn't even begin to cover the gravity of their situation. They needed to get out of here.

"Your Highness, are we free to go?" Jace asked, his voice tense, trying to suppress all those conflicting emotions running through him.

“Oh yes,” the queen giggled. “It seems one of you already has.”

Jace looked around.

“Magnus!” Alec gasped.

The warlock was nowhere to be seen.


	2. I Can See You With My Eyes Closed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my wonderful beta readers for this chapter, toromeo (ald0us) and darkness <3
> 
> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "With My Eyes Closed" by The Bee Gees

Jace was sitting on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest. He was a mess because Alec had been avoiding him ever since the disaster at the Seelie court a few days ago. It made him feel lonely like nothing ever before, worse than his time on the Morning Star. At least there he had known Alec was looking for him. Now, whenever Jace entered a room, Alec would excuse himself. It was a stab to his heart, every single time. But even if they ignored what had happened at the Seelie court, they still needed to talk. They had a war to deal with after all, even though Jace didn't seem to have much space left in his mind to think about that.

Kissing Alec had opened a whole new world to him, it had given him a taste of what he could have - if only it wasn’t against the law. No one could ever find out about what had happened at the Seelie court or they could get in the worst trouble of their lives.

Jace had felt a unwelcome pang of jealousy when he had learnt from Isabelle that Alec had gone to Magnus in an attempt to patch things up with him. And now that he was alone back in his room, it was only worse: Alec was obviously trying to go back to normal, he was pretending nothing had happened. Even though Jace knew for fact that he'd now mentally always divide his life in the time before and after he had kissed Alec Lightwood.

Jace had never thought he would feel jealous of anyone's relationship with Alec. Alec was his parabatai, their bond transcended any other connection either of them could ever have with someone else. But now that he knew what kissing Alec felt like, the thought of Magnus Bane having his hands on Alec made Jace feel a fit of morbid jealousy he had never experienced before. Not even when he had seen Clary and Simon happily together. It surprised and confused him to suddenly feel this way about Alec. How did one kiss make him want to scratch out anyone’s eyes that touched Alec? He honestly didn’t understand. But his own jealousy did make him realise what Alec must have gone through for years, watching Jace bed woman after woman.

That's where the guilt came in. Jace had only found out in recent months that Alec was in love with him, probably had been for years. Jace only now saw the agony his behaviour must have caused Alec all this time and the guilt he was experiencing now, just thinking of it, was overwhelming. But that was just part of it, in a strange way, he also felt guilty because he had never returned Alec's feelings.

Until now. The kiss had changed everything. It had felt right, more than anything else ever had. Like it was meant to be, the Clave and their stupid laws be damned. Jace wasn't sure why he was so certain but there was nothing wrong about loving your parabatai in every way. Maybe it was the heavenly ecstasy that had taken a hold of them the moment they had kissed. Maybe it was the sudden rush of physical strength he and Alec had experienced. Maybe it was his aching heart telling him to get closer to Alec. Maybe it was his physically aching parabatai rune telling him the exact same thing. Maybe it was pure instinct. But it didn't matter. Jace just knew. And now that he knew he felt like he should have known from the start. Like Alec.

It was infuriatingly confusing: his whole life he had been certain he only liked women. He would have thought that he had had plenty of adventures to prove it. But apparently, one kiss from Alec Lightwood was enough to change that. Now Jace doubted everything he thought he knew about himself. Had he ever felt attracted to men? Not really. Sure, he noticed if a guy was good looking but that had never meant that he would want to take him to bed; on the other hand, good-looking girls had always made him want to get down and dirty.

Thinking back to the last few days Jace realised that he wasn't even looking at women anymore. Angel, he had seen Clary and Simon kiss and had felt nothing. Although - at second thought that wasn't entirely true. He had felt jealous. Because Clary and Simon could have something that was forbidden for Alec and him. But at the same time, Jace knew that he couldn't just go from being straight one day to being gay the next, it didn't work that way. It had to be the parabatai bond that caused this sudden change.

Jace felt ashamed too, as it had been a mortifying situation at the Seelie court. The Seelie Queen's motives had been nothing but sinister, Jace was sure of it. Splitting up Alec and Magnus had been obviously one of her goals, adding insult to injury when she had not only told Magnus that Alec had been lying to him about the soul sword but on top of that made him watch Alec kiss Jace. Passionately. Plus now the Seelie Queen had considerable leverage. Eros between parabatai was a serious crime in the eyes of the Clave, and it could only result in an excruciatingly painful deruning followed by exile. Did the Seelie Queen know things about the parabatai bond that they didn't, things that the Clave didn't want them to know? Jace could tell that their bond had evolved, he was now feeling Alec and his emotions much more sharply than before, even at times when their physical distance was greater.

It was strange and comforting and infuriating all at the same time. Coming in his pants with the entire Seelie court and Magnus Bane watching had been humiliating. Even now that Jace was alone in his room he couldn't help himself but bury his face in his hands. What made it worse was that thinking about it now didn't only make him feel the shame and humiliation all over again but also the arousal. Alec's soft hair in his fingers, his strong arms around him, his delicious taste on his tongue. Jace hadn't liked it. He had loved it. And now he was desperate for more, his body and soul were screaming for Alec.

It was even worse at night when he tried to go to sleep. Lying in bed he couldn't help but think of Alec. Wishing he was here with him. Holding him. Kissing him. Touching him. The nights following the Seelie court visit, Jace had found himself tossing and turning in his bed until he had finally given in and ran his own hands down his body, wishing they were Alec's. And to make it worse, he knew for fact that Alec, one door down the hall, was doing the same. Something had changed in their bond. Jace could now feel Alec's arousal at night just like Alec had to feel his. He knew when Alec touched himself. No - he felt it.

***

"From the day I met you, the one thing I knew I could count on from you was honesty. Absolute, total honesty. And now this!" Magnus said. Disappointment was written all over his face.

Alec had come over to Magnus's to talk to him, make things right. But it really wasn't going his way. Alec had hoped that giving them a couple of days to calm down before talking would help, but if anything it had made it worse.

"Please, let me explain--" Alec began.

"When did you know about the soul sword?" Magnus interrupted him. "I’d really love to know! Has it been days? Weeks? How long did you keep this from me?"

"Listen to me, Magnus, please. I swear I only found out just before we went to the Seelie court. Please, I don’t want this to stand between us." Alec was starting to sound desperate.

"Well, then you should have told me! When exactly did you know? Maybe the night before we went there? When we were having dinner and talked about how trust is paramount in relationships - did you know then?"

"I did," Alec confessed, averting his eyes. "I am so sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I was worried that if the Downworld found out, there would be widespread panic. It could have led to a rebellion."

"And you didn't trust me to stay quiet?" Magnus asked. "Because it’s not that you didn’t tell me right away, it’s that you didn’t tell me at all. I had to find out from the Seelie Queen! Of all people!"

"I was only trying to do what is best for you. I didn't want you to have to keep a secret from your own people, that wouldn't be fair to you."

"Oh, you're just like the Clave. Keeping secrets under the disguise that this way, nobody gets hurt. The irony! You keep making promises you never intend to keep. After I bared my heart and soul. I told you things I've never told anyone. You looked me straight in the eye and lied. And the next thing I know you are kissing Jace. Although kissing is a pretty stark understatement."

Alec’s felt his face heat with shame. So it had been that obvious what had happened, aside from the kiss. Of course. Alec hadn't thought it would be possible to be even more embarrassed about the scene he and Jace had made but apparently he had been wrong. "I had no choice but to kiss him," Alec said, exasperation in his voice. "If I hadn't, you both would be dead now. You want that?"

"Alexander," Magnus sighed, "you had to do what you had to do. And I can't blame you for your feelings. I always knew that you loved Jace even though you can't have him, that was the first thing I knew about you. I know it is forbidden by the Clave, like just about everything, and Jace is straight … although now I'm not so sure about the latter anymore." Magnus’s face was mired with doubt.

"I'm sorry," Alec said, his eyes down, unable to look at Magnus, that unspeakable moment at the Seelie court again unfolding in front of his inner eye for the umpteenth time. "I am so sorry. I should have told you. I should have told you I still have feelings for Jace, strong feelings. And I should have told you about the soul sword. I made a terrible mistake not telling you about either." Alec swallowed. "But you and me, our relationship, we are strong enough to make it work. I will never be with Jace, never. Magnus, I love you."

"I love you too," Magnus said with a sad smile. "But I need to not only think about myself, I need to consider my people too. As their leader, there are difficult decisions I have to make to ensure the survival of my people. And the only thing holding me back from doing that, is you. And as for Jace … the only reason why you're not with him is that you can't."

Alec shook his head in despair, eyes wide. "Please don't do this."

"I can't be with you and be a good leader at the same time. I can't have both."

"Yes, you can. We can. We can figure this out, Magnus," Alec said, his voice sounding small. "Please."

"No," Magnus replied. He sounded sad but firm. "I can't be with you anymore. Because I need to protect my people - and myself. And besides, I am not going to be some consolation prize because you can't have the one you really want."

That stung. Magnus was more to him than that. Alec felt sorrow welling up inside of him, he was about to cry and really didn't want Magnus to see him like that. He didn't want to break down and humiliate himself further. Magnus had ended their relationship, clearly didn't want this anymore, so Alec did the only thing he could do, he turned around and walked out the door. On his way down the stairs he glamoured himself before stepping out of the apartment building and onto the street. He was going to walk home, go through the emotions he had to go through and then be ready for duty again when he reached the Institute. Or so he told himself.

The truth was that he was a total mess. His attempt to patch things up with Magnus had been futile, of course. Maybe if it had only been the soul sword, Magnus could have forgiven him. Maybe. Probably not. But finding out how much Alec still loved, wanted Jace had proven too much for Magnus, understandably so, Alec thought to himself. He knew that he had lost Magnus for good and it was breaking his heart. It was a first for him, since he had never been in a relationship so he never had to go through a breakup and it made it all the more painful. He would have never imagined to physically feel a stabbing pain in his heart but he did.

Alec kept going, keeping up a brisk speed, trying to walk off all the pent-up energy inside of him. It wasn't going to be enough. He would have to get a good workout in when he got home. Or hide in the shower and cry. Probably both.

And what had happened between him and Jace made things worse. So much worse. Alec found it impossible to wrap his head around Jace's reaction to the kiss at the Seelie court. He had expected to quickly press his lips to Jace's, giving the queen what she wanted, pull back and find Jace looking at him with confusion, disappointment and disgust. Instead, Jace had wrapped his arms around him, held onto him for dear life and kissed him back with a fervour that made Alec's head spin just thinking about it.

Alec was torn between his overwhelming grief over breaking up with Magnus and his equally painful heartache over the fact that he would never ever have Jace. That was old news, but recent events made it sting again.

If Alec was honest with himself, what he had experienced with Jace that day was incomparable. It wouldn't be sincere of him to be with Magnus anymore, not now that he knew what kissing Jace felt like. And there was more. Jace would now be able to feel it when he had sex with Magnus, Alec was sure of it. Because at night, when he was lying in bed alone, his body and soul screaming for Jace, he could feel him. He never wanted to put Jace through this but his body's needs pushed him to touch himself and he would feel Jace's arousal and then it was as if Jace was touching him. Alec lost the battle against his desire every single time. A guilty conscience had become his new steady companion.

No, stringing Magnus along wouldn’t be fair, he didn't deserve to be someone’s second choice. Magnus was a good man and should be with somebody who could put him first. That somebody couldn't be Alec, not anymore. Maybe breaking up with Magnus was for the best after all, at least for Magnus and at least it was honest. Having felt Jace's lips on his own, Jace's hand tangled in his hair, his arm wrapped tightly around his waist, he, in all candour, didn't want to be with anyone else anymore, even if it meant he was never going to be with anyone ever again. This one moment, this one stolen kiss had changed his life forever.

Alec had thought kissing Magnus at his wedding and leaving Lydia at the altar was a big deal but really, it meant little compared to the gravity of kissing his parabatai. He couldn't trust himself around Jace anymore, he was concerned he wouldn't be able to control himself, that he, given the opportunity, would throw himself at Jace if he got the just the smallest indication that Jace wanted it too. If they didn't have at least a wall between them Alec worried he would grab Jace and take him on the spot, not wasting a thought on who else was in the room. Because that’s exactly what it had been like at the Seelie court, something in the bond had come in and overridden all his inhibitions. That’s how overwhelming his desire had become.

That's why he was now avoiding Jace at all cost, which made him miss his parabatai all the more. He missed talking to Jace, spending time with him, sparring with him, working with him. Just being around Jace.

Alec hated himself. He should have never fallen for Jace. Or if he only had been able to truly love Magnus and forget Jace. But it was futile. He was out of control like a horny teenager, especially when he touched himself at night, knowing full well that Jace could feel it all, that it would make Jace do the same. Jace had to really hate him by now. Alec was disgusted with himself.

***

Eventually, Jace had had to get up and get some work done. Talk to Sebastian about security, go to the ops centre and check on demonic activity, arrange missions. Anything to get him out of his room and out of his jumbled thoughts.

But whatever he tried, his thoughts constantly kept going back to Alec. Their bond played a part in it, too - Jace felt Alec's turmoil coming his way. Pain, sadness, despair, self-hatred. And Jace could feel it all with a new intensity. Of course Alec was blaming himself, it was what he always did, even if it wasn't his fault. And this situation was no exception.

The damn Seelie Queen had gotten them into this but Alec was the one loathing himself for it. Jace could still feel him positively fuming at himself when Alec got back to the institute. He really wanted to talk to him and somehow, miraculously, make him feel better. But he knew that that was naive, there was nothing he could say or do that would make Alec feel better.

So he busied himself with work around the Institute until he ran into Isabelle.

"You know," Isabelle said to him, "why don't you go see Alec? He's gotten back from Magnus's a while ago and judging by the look on his face, it didn't go very well. He could use a distraction."

"I don't know, Izzy," Jace replied. "He probably just needs some time to himself."

"Have you guys had an argument? Because you seem to be avoiding each other. I've seen Alec walk out of the room a couple of times when you came in. And now you don't want to talk to him when he needs you? He's going through a breakup - mind you his first one. His heart is broken. Whatever it is that is going on between the two of you, talk it over and then be there for him," Isabelle said with a gentle smile.

But Jace just shook his head. "No, there's nothing wrong with us. And Alec just needs some space."

Isabelle's eyes narrowed. "There's something you’re not telling me."

"No there isn't," Jace replied.

"Okay, whatever you say," Isabelle said but Jace knew that she didn't believe him. Something was up and Isabelle smelled it. "Just promise me you'll talk to Alec later, whenever you think the time is right. I hate seeing you guys at odds."

"I will," Jace lied. Alec had been avoiding him specifically and he wasn’t going to push him, it would only hurt Alec more.

***

It was getting late, Alec had spent over an hour beating the hell out of his punching bag. To lessen the ache after the intense session, he had redrawn his iratze rune and taken a long hot shower. With hot water running over his skin Alec had positively cried his eyes out until there were no tears left.

He was pleasantly tired now that he stepped out of his en suite bathroom and into his bedroom. For a long moment, he stared at the opposite wall, knowing all too well that Jace was behind it, crawling into his bed just now. If Alec closed his eyes and concentrated he could probably get a good feeling for where exactly Jace was, what he was doing. If Alec tried hard enough he could almost see his aura through the wall. The change in their bond did that. But he tried hard not to think of Jace as he switched the lights off and climbed into his bed. Tonight wouldn't be like the last couple of nights. It was wrong, what happened in their rooms when the lights went out and silence came over the institute.

So Alec tried not to think about it as he wrapped himself in his duvet, he just wanted to go to sleep and forget about it all. It had been another horrible day. It was over between Magnus and him for good. Just the thought of it made him want to cry all over again. But he didn't. Jace would feel all of it, all the sadness and despair, and Alec had just put him through half an hour of non-stop crying while he was in the shower, he didn't want to burden Jace with more of it. More of his pathetic sadness and self-pity when the whole situation was really his own fault.

He was in love with Jace, he had kissed him and corrupted their bond. Then his boyfriend had understandably left him. And Alec had inadvertently turned their parabatai bond into an emotional broadcasting station between him and Jace. He wasn't going to make Jace go through a crying-himself-to-sleep session. Alec felt terrible for drowning Jace in all his negative emotions, he hated himself for having changed their bond into something that now allowed Jace so little privacy.

But lying in bed he could already feel Jace sending waves of comfort and reassurance and love through their bond. How could Jace still love him after what he had done? He didn't deserve Jace's love, especially not now, not anymore. It made him loathe himself even more.

But the love that kept flowing through the bond made him miss Jace. Badly. He wanted to apologize to him, tell him how sorry he was for what he had done to their bond, give him a brotherly hug. But not even the smallest physical contact between them would ever feel brotherly again, he had come with Jace's thigh between his legs, for crying out loud. Publicly. There really was no way of coming back from that. And if he was honest with himself, his feelings towards Jace had never been brotherly past the age of thirteen. Now they had cost him his boyfriend and soiled their parabatai bond.

Jace kept sending him comforting feelings that made him grab his spare pillow and hug it tightly. Jace was obviously trying to calm him down. And it was beginning to work.

Jace's warmth washed over him and Alec let himself relax into it. But he shouldn't have because it brought back that memory. Vividly. Them kissing, the Seelie court around them all but forgotten, only the two of them had existed and pure bliss had been coursing through them. Desire. Ecstasy.

It all made Alec bury his head in his pillow with shame again, because he could already feel the arousal well up inside of him again. He didn't want to give in like the last couple of nights, he really didn't. It was wrong, it was forbidden. Jace would hate him for making him feel this again, for having no control, for being reduced to a needy mess that was hanging onto every surge of affection that was coming over from Jace. He didn't understand why Jace would still bother with him but he felt a deep love for Jace inside of him. He knew Jace would feel it on the other side of the wall that separated their bedrooms. Warm feelings were reverberating through their bond now, embracing them both.

And then suddenly Alec felt the ghost of a touch running down his body, from his hair over his neck, his collarbone, it sent goosebumps over his skin, it had him fisting the sheets. Slowly the faint feeling of a gentle touch went down his chest and over his stomach before he felt it feather-lightly cup his growing arousal. Jace was touching himself. And Alec almost wanted to cry again because of the gentleness and love that was in the touch.

Emotions were pushed through the bond and without words Jace was telling him that it was okay, that he understood what Alec needed. And for a moment Alec allowed himself to imagine that Jace wanted this too. That's when he copied Jace's movements, slowly and purposefully. He pushed his hands in his hair and imagined it was Jace's hair, blonde and long and soft, then let his hands trail down his neck, over his shoulders and down his chest. He grew harder at that, but he wasn't sure anymore if it was only his own body's reaction or Jace's too. It was all the same now.

He let his hands wander down his body, trailed them down his stomach and further until he was gently cupping his erection. He got even harder at that. Then he started moving his hand up and down his cock, quickly picking up the pace. It felt so terribly good, Alec knew Jace had to be doing the same. Their movements fell into complete sync, their hearts beating as one.

Every few times Alec moved his hand up his cock he would flick his thumb over the head, making himself moan. He liked playing with himself like that. When he lightly pressed his thumb into the slit an intense surge of pleasure overcame him, it was as much his own body's reaction as it was Jace's. And Jace was all he could think about. He felt nearly as close to him as if it was really Jace touching him. Alec threw his head back in pleasure and gave in to the rhythm of his hand. A few more minutes of stroking and squeezing himself and he was already getting close.

That's when he stopped and let his cock rest hot and swollen against his stomach. He had to be sure Jace wanted this too. The last two nights Alec had gone ahead, so desperate for the connection he had denied himself all day that he was unable to control himself. Especially the first night the point of no return had approached so quickly he had realised too late that Jace could feel how Alec was touching himself. He had to stop pushing this on Jace.

So he stopped. Jace must have noticed and stopped too for a moment. Alec let his sorrow and regret seep through the bond but felt nothing but reassurance coming back. Then Jace continued touching himself because that's when Alec felt the ghost of a touch on his cock, like air brushing his heated skin, his own hands resting at his sides, it was all Jace. It was divine.

Alec surrendered to the ecstasy surging through him, letting all his pleasure and love for Jace overflow into the bond. Invisible, feathery touches against his cock slowly started building the pressure inside of him again. Whatever Jace was doing to himself, it was making Alec shudder helplessly, his muscles were trembling, his legs fell open and suddenly his hips twitched upwards.

It was unbelievable how sensations so gentle could be so overwhelming. Their bond was pulsing heavily between them and it was almost too much for Alec, he desperately wanted to touch himself again but instead, his hands grabbed the sheets, tightly, and his teeth sank into his lower lip.

Tonight he wouldn't touch himself. He wanted to draw this out as much as possible and he needed Jace to be in control of this, of him. He needed to come like this, having Jace take him over the edge with him. Just the thought left his cock twitching, leaking pre-cum. The ghost of Jace's touch lightly tightened at the base of Alec's cock, then pushed up along his length before deliciously flicking over the head. Jace was edging himself closer and closer to orgasm while for Alec, it was too faint and too unbearably good at the same time. It made his head spin, left him breathing heavily. It overwhelmed him with its gentleness. A faint sensation like this was never going to allow him to come no matter how good it felt, he needed more. It was too little and too much and Alec spilled tears of ecstatic bliss.

But then he felt how Jace's orgasm was building. It was building inside of Alec too, causing him to grip his sheets even tighter. The light touch around his cock turned into gloriously firm pressure all around him and he gasped as his balls drew closer to his body and everything inside him tightened along with the deliciously solid grip around his cock. A loud groan ripped through his silent room as their orgasm crashed over them, knocking the air from their lungs, shaking them violently, blinding them with hot white light as everything inside Alec powerfully convulsed. He was quivering, moaning Jace's name over and over again. Violent contractions went on and on and on, Alec was coming dry when the high finally started to ebb away.

All tension left his body and he collapsed on his bed, panting heavily. He was all spent and exhausted having been taken apart so beautifully, magically. This time he felt no shame, only love. Jace had done this. Through their bond, Alec felt Jace's warm presence wrap himself around him and he gave into its warmth as his consciousness drifted away into sleep.


	3. No Human Bond Compares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of research went into this chapter, I dug through a lot of Cassandra Clare's tweet, read summaries of The Dark Artifices (minor spoiler alert if you haven't read those books) and googled ancient history.

The guilt inevitably hit Alec in the morning. No matter how good it had felt, Jace couldn't really want what was happening between them at night. Alec wasn't naive enough to fool himself like that, he knew Jace was straight. They were both young men with physical needs that had to be taken care of and Jace was simply trying to deal with their new situation, come to terms with the changes in their corrupted bond. And of course, he didn't want Alec to feel bad about getting himself off at night so he went along with it, trying to take Alec's guilty conscience away.

Alec dreaded the moment he had to actually face Jace again, but he knew that sooner or later they had to talk again. They had work to do, mission to go on. Alec told himself that he had to be professional about this, get the necessary things done, talk to Jace about the things that had to be talked about. He couldn't drag Jace further into this mess. He would have to keep his distance as much as possible while not letting anyone else notice that there was something off between him and Jace. It didn't help that he was feeling Jace's own mixed up emotions through their bond, Jace was nervous and confused and there was something else Alec that wasn't quite sure about what it was but it felt a lot like desperation. It made Alec's heart ache. But he couldn't let it distract him, so as he was getting ready for the day he put a pair of pants, on a dress shirt and a brave face.

Then he heard - and felt - Jace exiting his own bedroom, he was probably heading to the ops centre this morning. But Alec didn't feel the now intensified pull in their bond whenever Jace was moving away from him, instead, he was coming closer. Alec's heartbeat picked up. He couldn't face Jace just yet, the events of the past nights were still too fresh on his mind. Jace's footsteps got louder as he approached until he stopped in front of Alec's bedroom door. Alec swallowed hard and moved several steps back, further away from the door. Jace wasn't going to knock, Alec knew that much, so at least he wasn't caught by surprise when Jace opened the door, stepped into Alec's room and closed the door behind him with a thud. Then Jace leaned his back against it, blocking Alec's only escape route.

Alec didn't want to look at Jace but he couldn't take his eyes off him either. Jace's blonde hair fell on his face, catching the light coming from the ceiling lamp. Then there was the white, ever so slightly see-through shirt he was wearing and those sinfully tight black coated jeans. Against his will, it made Alec uncomfortable in his own pants, as almost always now when he was as much as in the same room as Jace. That's when his brain helpfully supplied memories of the last night and Alec could feel himself blush with hot shame. The fact that Jace could now surely feel all of it, both his arousal and his shame, made it so much worse. Alec really needed to stop thinking of Jace in that way but it was impossible when they were only a few steps apart, breathing the same air.

"I know you don't want to talk," Jace said, "but we really need to. And personally I can't bear not talking to you, especially not now. I need you, Alec."

This was what Alec had been afraid of, facing Jace, in close quarters on top of it. Hearing those words from him. Jace's presence, his words, the way he looked, it now all made Alec hungry for him and he hated himself for that.

"Look," Jace said when Alec didn't respond, "I know how you feel and you don't have to beat yourself up over what happened at the Seelie court or anything that has happened since then, none of this is your fault. We were set up. From the start when the queen had insisted we bring Magnus along. She wanted this to happen, she wanted Magnus at odds with you, she wanted to mess you up. So if you have to blame someone, blame her, not yourself."

Jace was trying to make him feel better, he always did, he cared about him - but he was wrong. Alec internally sighed. It was his fault. Jace was straight and the last thing he needed was being harassed by his gay best friend who happened to be his parabatai who happened to be his boss. That's what all of this was. Harassment. Pangs of remorse crushed over Alec.

"She would have never been able to do this if I wasn't so … twisted," Alec replied. "And I am sorry I pulled you into this. Really. I never wanted this for you. This is so wrong."

But Jace seemed unconcerned by that. "Alec, it's okay. I don't mind. I -"

Anger rose inside of Alec. "You don't mind? Do you even know what you're saying?" Alec suddenly shouted. He walked over to Jace and said in a low voice, "What has happened so far is enough to get us separated and exiled, do you understand? The Clave would be very concerned by a corrupted parabatai bond, no matter the circumstances that led to it."  

"Screw the Clave," Jace spat. "Screw the Clave and their damn law. I care about you! I can tell how upset and desperate and ashamed you feel because of everything that happened at the Seelie court and since and I can also tell that you're not feeling that way because of the Clave or the law or whatever, you're feeling that way because of me. Well, I'm here to tell you don't."

"I don't need your pity, Jace," Alec said.

"Pity? You think that's what it is? No, Alec, you're wrong."

Jace looked very disappointed all of a sudden, it was like a punch to Alec's gut. A bunch of tangled emotions came through their bond. Then Jace looked him straight in the eye. It took Alec right back to the moment at the Seelie court, just before he had kissed Jace for the very first time. Jace surely had to think about it too and Alec felt his face heat with embarrassment. Jace was way too close.

"You know what?" Jace said. "I liked it. I liked kissing you."

No. Jace had not just said that or else there was even more wrong with them, with their bond, than Alec had originally thought.

Jace took a step forward, causing a surprised Alec to take one back. There was a fire burning in Jace's eyes, so intense it almost frightened Alec.

"I," Jace said, punctuating every word with another step forward, "enjoyed every single second of it."

By the last word Alec found himself with his back against the wall, Jace not even a step away from him anymore. Being so close to Jace was intoxicating. He smelled Jace, his fresh-out-of-the-shower scent. It made Alec dizzy, it made him want to lean in, take more of Jace in. Alec was breathing too fast. Jace shouldn't be here, he shouldn't crowd him against the wall like that, inside the Institute. It was dangerous.

"Don't do this," Alec said but his voice was weak, his resolve withering under the intense look in Jace's eyes, his hands pressed against the wall on either side of Alec, effectively trapping him there. Jace pressed closer, his head already tilting up and Alec felt a magnetic pull towards him and he leaned down.

That's when the door flew open and Isabelle came barging in with Clary hot on her heels.

"Alec, you need to- ", Isabelle said. She stopped in her tracks, shocked look on her face when she saw Alec and Jace.

"Jace!" Clary shrieked.

Alec was going to push Jace off of him but he had already taken a couple of steps back. Alec could only imagine what the scene unfolding in front of the girls must have looked like. Him, pressed against the wall by Jace, about to kiss. And the way Jace had been holding him there had been far too gentle and intimate to be mistaken for a heated argument turned physical.

"Shut the door!" Alec yelled at Clary. Thank the Angel she complied immediately. "Learn how to fucking knock!" he fumed at Isabelle.

"You two are screwing?" it escaped Isabelle. She looked shocked and amused at the same time, the corners of her mouth just slightly turning upwards. She had known for the longest time that Alec was in love with Jace. Alec buried his face in his hands.

"No!" he exclaimed.

"Of course not," Jace said. Was there a hit of irony in his voice?

"Oh Angel, is that why Magnus really broke up with you? Is that what's been up with you two?" Isabelle asked Alec.

"Why are you even here?" Alec asked trying to divert her attention.

"It's Luke, he tried to kill Valentine in our holding cell," Isabelle explained.

Alec was perplexed. "What?"

"Yes, but that can wait five minutes. What is going on with the two of you?" Isabelle's eyes were darting back and forth between the two of them.

"We can explain," Jace said. "It's not quite what you think it is."

"Are you sure?" Clary asked, eyebrows raised.

"This isn't funny!" Alec barked. The problem wasn't even how embarrassing the situation was, the problem was that is was dangerous. "Jace," Alec said, trying to keep his calm, "I need you to take Clary somewhere quiet and explain to her why exactly she can never ever say a word to anyone about any of this. Isabelle and I will take care of the Luke situation."

Jace nodded and immediately led Clary out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Oh Alec," Isabelle sighed when Jace's and Clary's footsteps were fading away in the corridor. "I knew something was up when you guys started avoiding each other."

"It's not what you think it is," Alec said, hands held out in front of him in defence, "at least not quite."

"You know that's the most cliche excuse out there," Isabelle said. "What happened? You know you can talk to me, big brother."

"We need to take care of Luke," Alec retorted. "That's why you came barging in here in the first place."

"He is detained for now and yes, we need to take care of this quickly, but this here is a dangerous situation for you and Jace. You and I need to have a conversation."

"And we will, right after we solve that problem with Luke," Alec replied. He signed. "I promise."

"Okay," Isabelle shrugged, "but count on me holding you to it."

"I know you will," Alec said as he made for the door, Isabelle following him.

***

Jace dragged Clary into his room, firmly shutting the door behind them.

"So you and Alec, huh?" Clary said and smiled. "I knew that he liked you, but I never thought that you - "

"Sit down," Jace interrupted her, pointing at one of the Ottoman stools at the foot of his bed. "Please."

She did and Jace took a seat next to her. "Look, I don't know how to explain this to you," Jace started, "but it is very important for Alec and myself that you listen carefully, okay?"

"Sure," Clary nodded.

"First of all, there is nothing going on between Alec and me. Yes, I tried to kiss him, but it would have only been the second time this happened, so don't get any ideas."

Of course, he omitted what was going between Alec and him at night, what happened through their bond when nobody was looking, but that really was none of Clary's business.

"When Alec, Magnus and I went to the Seelie court a few days ago the Seelie Queen not only told Magnus that we had the soul sword, she also forced Alec to kiss me," he explained.

Clary gasped in shock.

"Yeah," Jace said, eyebrows raised. "She wanted Alec to kiss the one he most desires and used Seelie magic to make sure he did. It turned out to be me. That's why Magnus is so upset. But Magnus and I would be dead now if Alec hadn't kissed me, the Seelie Queen had made that perfectly clear. It was the only time something like this happened, we only ever kissed once. But when we did, something happened to our parabatai bond, it has changed, I can feel it. But that's beside the point. The reason why Alec wanted me to talk to you so urgently and why it is critically important that no one ever finds out about this is that eros, romantic love, between parabatai is forbidden by the Clave. Izzy knows this and it is imperative that you do too. If the Clave finds out that we as much as kissed, we might be separated and exiled. Deruned even."

"But you said the Seelie Queen forced you, right? None of this is your fault. I won't say a word, of course, but even if the Clave found out, I'm sure they'd acknowledge Alec had no choice."

Jace looked down, he really didn't want to tell Clary more than necessary. He trusted her to stay quiet but the more she knew the more dangerous it would be for her to hold the soul sword if she ever had to.

"But that's not all of it, is it?" Clary asked. "You were about to kiss Alec when we walked in on you."

"Like I said," Jace replied, "that one kiss changed our bond."

"You're in love with Alec."

"No, I'm not," Jace said but it sounded like a lie to his own ears.

"It's okay, Jace."

"It's not okay, that's the whole point. It is forbidden. Eros between parabatai is forbidden and I'm pretty sure it's because of what it does to the bond. When Alec kissed me, it filled me, both of us actually, with a power I've never felt before, much like applying a strength rune but more powerful, far stronger. And it felt - sacred, in a way."

Clary looked at him for a long time before she said, "The Clave is afraid of parabatai in love with each other."

"Maybe," Jace replied. "The bottom line is that it is forbidden."

"But let me get this right - unless there's something you never told me, you have been straight all your life, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"And then Alec kisses you once and … you're not?" Clary wondered.

"I know it makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Clary said, her eyes lighting up as if she had suddenly found the missing piece of a puzzle. "You're parabatai. What if it was always meant to be that way?"

"You know," Jace chuckled softly, "that's exactly what I thought when Alec kissed me, that it had to be this way, that our bond was not yet complete."

Clary's eyes widened and suddenly Jace realised that he had said too much.

"In any case," Jace continued, "it's a good thing that you and Izzy walked in on us. The first kiss was forced, yes, but a second one would have been voluntary and a much bigger crime. Whatever it is between Alec and me, we just need to go back to normal."

Clary shook her head. "You know," she said, "I noticed something the other day, when you saw me with Simon, you didn't look jealous. I never said anything but before you always used to look like you wanted to punch Simon." They both chuckled. "But not anymore."

"You're finally like a sister to me," Jace smiled. It felt good to say it, for it to be true at last.

"You once told me that there is no human bond that compares to what Alec and you have, that you are bound together for life. These were your words."

"And they are still true."

"But there is also more to them then you knew when you said them back then. Jace, if you could freely be with Alec, would you?" Clary asked.

"This conversation is over," Jace decided and got up. So did Clary.

"Your secret is safe with me," she promised. "but don't give up on your love for Alec. Something is telling me that it's worth it."

And with that, she smiled, turned around and left the room. Her words kept echoing in Jace's mind.

***

"Alec! You promised me we would talk about this after we dealt with Luke!" Isabelle exclaimed.  

"There is nothing to talk about," Alec replied. It wasn't like he was running away from her. He was just walking rather quickly towards his office, to be alone, to not have this conversation. He had work to do. Talking about what had happened earlier this morning was a bad idea.

"Yes, there is. There is a lot to talk about. And we can have this conversation face to face or you lock yourself in your office while I yell through the door. Your choice. But it is going to happen," Isabelle said, chasing after him.

Alec rolled his eyes and was glad he was walking ahead of his sister, otherwise he would have had to worry she would have punched him for it.

"Fine," he said and turned around to face Isabelle. "But let's go to my room."

She threw him a questioning look.

"No cameras," he explained.

Isabelle laughed.

"Isabelle, there are people who can lip read."

"You're paranoid."

"As I should be," Alec snapped.

They headed to the residential wing and soon reached Alec's room. Alec let them in before closing the door behind them.

"Talk to me, big brother," Isabelle said, sitting down on Alec's bed. "What's going on with the two of you?"

"Not much," Alec evaded, pacing the room.

"I wouldn't exactly call two parabatai kissing 'not much'."

"We didn't kiss, Isabelle."

"You almost did, " she said, "And it didn't look like the first time to me."

"We kissed once, okay? At the Seelie court."

"What? Wow. I had a feeling that something was going between you guys when you stopped talking, I just didn't expect this."

"Yeah. It was terrible. I mean - the situation was terrible. The Seelie Queen had her vitis veritas wrapped around Magnus and Jace, she threatened to kill them both if I didn't … if I didn't kiss the one I desire the most."

Alec shook his head at the memory.

"So you kissed Jace," Isabelle said. The fact that she didn’t even have to ask made Alec blush. Thank the Angel Isabelle didn’t know the full story.

"That manipulative little wench," Isabelle snorted. "I hate the Seelie Queen."

"That makes two of us," Alec said. "But like her or not, Seelie magic doesn't lie. What happened at the Seelie court, it was real, of course it was the truth. You remember the first time I kissed Magnus?"

Isabelle laughed. "I don't think anybody who saw that could ever forget."

"Yeah, well," Alec said, "the scene Jace and I made was a a lot more dramatic."

"Bloody Angel! What happened?"

"Let's just say I'm not surprised Magnus broke up with me." He spared Isabelle the awkward details. "I tried talking to Magnus, but it's really over and I understand why."

"Maybe he just needs more time," Isabelle said.

But Alec just shook his head. "It's not that. Magnus isn't stupid, he knows as well as you and I do that Seelie magic might trick you, but it's always true, whether we like it or not. This situation is just horrible, it really is. I'm the worst. Magnus deserves better."

"Hey, I know it's confusing," Isabelle said, "but don't be so hard on yourself. You can have feelings for two people at the same time, it happens. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"I sure feel like one," Alec replied.

"Let me go talk to Magnus," Isabelle said. "Even if nothing can be done to fix your relationship, we need him for the Downworlder cabinet meetings. And I bet that right now he'd rather talk to me than you, so let me take it from here. It'll be fine, at least on the political front. I'll help you handle it."

Alec nodded. "Thank you."

"Now what about Jace?" Isabelle asked.

"What about him?" Alec replied, suddenly wary of the turn the conversation was taking.

"I always thought your love for him was entirely one-sided, I mean just a few weeks ago he was chasing after Clary and now he's not even looking at her anymore," she said.

"It is one-sided."

"Alec", Isabelle said, "when someone you're in love with pushes you against the wall and tries to kiss you it's not one-sided." She sounded like she was explaining something to a small child.

"Whatever happened at the Seelie court, it changed our bond," Alec explained. Isabelle clearly didn't understand. Even if Jace was under the impression that he had feelings for him, it was a temporary effect of the bond due to their kiss, that was all it was.

"What do you mean?" Isabelle asked.

"I think the kiss corrupted our parabatai bond," Alec said.

"Did it feel wrong to kiss Jace?"

"No. It felt right. But- " He trailed off.

Isabelle took a deep breath. "Now, who else knows about this?"

"Only Magnus and the entire Seelie court," Alec said and let out a mirthless laugh. "I'm worried the Seelie Queen will use it as leverage."

"Is there anything we have that can keep her quiet?" Isabelle asked.

"I've been trying to think of something, but we got nothing," Alec replied.

"If the Clave finds out," Isabelle said, "you and Jace could be exiled."

"They won't find out unless someone reports it and neither Magnus nor Clary nor you would ever do that. Let's just hope the Seelie Queen was just collecting ammunition. There were a lot of witnesses but it was only one forced kiss, there's not much she can do with that, it's not enough for a deruning." And nobody knows about the rest, the things that have happened since, Alec added in his mind.

"Whatever happens, I'll stand by your side," Isabelle said with a smile.

"Thank you, Izzy." Alec hesitated for a moment. "I hate for you and Clary to be accessories in this crime."

Isabelle shook her head. "Don't worry about it, I'm here for you."

Alec smiled but then froze. "There's one more thing. When I kissed Jace I felt a strong surge of power run through us. I'm worried about it."

"I really don't know much about parabatai, but I remember back in the day before you and Jace established your bond, you did a whole lot of research into the topic. I think you should go back to that. We had a few interesting conversations. Go back to your parabatai bond research, maybe you'll find your answers there."

***

When Alec had been eighteen, Jace had asked him to become his parabatai and Alec hadn't been sure what to say or do. He had been in love with Jace for a long time, long enough to know that his feelings weren't going to go anywhere. He had also known that parabatai were forbidden to be lovers.

At the same time, Alec had known it was the only way to be even closer to Jace, to be there for him and fight by his side, protect him. There had been no openly gay Shadowhunters and therefore Alec had resigned himself to a life in the closet. And Jace was straight anyway. So becoming parabatai had really been the only true option. But before Alec had said yes, he had done some research, just to be sure him being in love with Jace wouldn't do their bond any harm.

Alec had sneaked into the Institute's archive at times no one else was around, he hadn't wanted anyone to know what he was researching. Or why. Early Saturday and Sunday mornings had been his best bet, no one was around and if somebody had caught him then at least it wouldn't have looked like he was sneaking around in the middle of the night.

Now that Alec was the head of the Institute he had the added advantage of having access to the classified section of the archive. He still didn't want to draw any attention to what kind of information he was looking for, so the next Saturday Alec got up just before six and headed down to the archive.

He knew there were still going to be cameras but nobody was going to look at the security footage unless there was a specific reason to do so. Alec felt fairly safe but to cover his tracks just in case he decided to also pick up books and documents covering other juicy topics: relationships between Shadowhunters and warlocks, how to bring the dead back to life, speculation regarding the location of the mortal mirror, why the Clave was undemocratic and how to summon greater demons. If anyone ever did look at the security footage it would look like Alec had been researching a whole array of questionable topics of which the parabatai bond would seem the most harmless, draw the least attention. Alec also knew that at least some of the reading nooks weren't covered by the security cameras and nobody would be able to tell which books he was really looking into.

Having used the archive a lot in his youth Alec easily found what he was looking for. The classified section was less familiar but well organised and small enough for Alec to quickly find his way around.

Then he sat down and started looking through the books and documents he had retrieved.

Back in the day, Alec had found nothing concerning just one of the parabatai being in love and not acting on it, and that's why he had gone ahead with the bond. It hadn't seemed to be a problem and even now that he looked through books from the classified section he couldn't find anything that would advise against the decision he took.

Parabatai shouldn't fall in love because falling out of love was the real risk to the bond which was required to be maintained forever, one book explained. If a parabatai pair fell out of love they would still have to remain at each other's side which harboured great potential for conflict. Interestingly an essay that Alec had found in the classified section stated that just having sex with one's parabatai would only be a problem if feelings were involved - which naturally would be the case between parabatai. But neither of the texts had any examples of parabatai pair committing eros and then falling out of love, it seemed to be pure speculation. And Alec knew from experience that it was impossible to fall out of love with one's parabatai, Angel knew he had tried.

Other books raised more serious concerns, several of them talking about an unnamed parabatai pair that had fallen in love and something terrible had happened. As there was concern that the unfortunate event might repeat itself the crime of eros was established, prohibiting parabatai to be romantically involved under the threat of great punishment.

Alec also found a book full of medieval songs and tales about parabatai lovers and the disasters and pain that followed in the wake of their crime. One particular gruesome story depicted all the horrors of the parabatai curse and how parabatai in love had turned into enormous black creatures and brutally murdered everyone they knew and loved. Many of the narratives also implied parabatai would develop great magic powers after becoming lovers.

Another book had a whole chapter dedicated to parabatai becoming lovers and the magic they developed. Upon committing eros the parabatai would start to develop powers so strong they reached the point of magic. It also explained how Nephilim were not meant to use magic and how therefore it became dangerous in their hands. Apparently, Nephilim had been driven mad by it before and gone on to leave a trail of death and destruction before they, too, died.

Of special interest was a legal text, an amendment to the Shadowhunter's Codex. It detailed the punishment for parabatai committing eros. The law didn't require the parabatai to be stripped of their marks right away, rather they would be exiled to opposing sites of the world and contact with each other or their families and friends would be prohibited. But deruned or not, Alec knew that being separated from Jace would be the greatest punishment of them all.

The text further laid out that if the parabatai saw each other following the separation they would be stripped of their runes. The text explicitly stated that leaving the Clave was an option if two parabatai wanted to be together, meaning they would be deruned and forbidden from seeing their families again. But Alec knew that deruned Shadowhunters had a low life expectancy. Deruned they were left defenceless to the attacks of demons and greater demons taking revenge for hunting them down for years. It reversed the roles.

Reading on Alec found there was no hope if caught sleeping together. The parabatai would be deruned right away, exiled and forbidden from seeing their families again. It was all rather grim.

There were also two reports from the classified section. One, to Alec's great surprise, dealt with Michael Wayland and Alec's own father, Robert Lightwood. The report detailed the surveillance the parabatai had been subjected to once an informant had told the Clave that Michael had developed feelings for Robert. The report revealed that surveillance went on for a couple of years but was eventually dropped when Michael became involved with Eliza Rosewain. The Clave never found anything incriminating.

The other report detailed statistics about parabatai. It was rather dry and uninteresting except for the fact that it revealed the large number of parabatai pairs that had been investigated because of suspected eros. It also expressed the confidence of the Clave that parabatai committing the crime would be caught in virtually all cases.

It left Alec shaking nervously. His heart beat too fast. Had he and Jace already gone too far? Maybe one kiss was too much after all. Was there a way to come back from this?

There were a couple more books to go through. Alec had found them on the history shelf of the classified section and they looked rather promising, he hoped they would reveal more new information.

The first one was a book written by the Silent Brothers and it turned out to be a historical record from the 14th century. It talked about a pair of parabatai - it had to be the same one Alec had read about in the other books - who had fallen in love. They had developed great powers and attempted to overthrow and destroy the Clave whose laws and practices they disagreed with. Their powers gave them a great advantage and the Clave was only able to stop them by forming an alliance with the Seelies and some of the most powerful warlocks. The book included a recommendation to the Clave to prohibit parabatai becoming lovers. The risks when parabatai obtained such tremendous powers were too great.

So that's why the Clave punishes parabatai who commit eros, Alec thought to himself. They are afraid.

The last book Alec had found was perhaps the most interesting one. He had nearly missed it too. If was small and slim and had slipped back on the shelf behind the one written by the Silent Brothers. It had to be very old by the looks of it, almost falling apart. It must have been pretty much forgotten as Alec couldn't even find one of the reference numbers the archive used on it. The book was titled 'The Bond', written by Jove Blitz and the cover showed a parabatai rune on top of a thick, jagged line. The book seemed to have some kind of subtitle that Alec couldn't read as it was printed in Greek letters.

Alec opened the book to see the familiar parabatai oath:

 _Entreat me not to leave thee_  
_Or return from following after thee_  
_For whither thou goest, I will go_  
_And where thou lodgest, I will lodge_  
_Thy people will be my people, thy god will be my god_  
_Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried_

The first thing he noticed was that the last two lines of the oath, 'The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me', were missing.

Turning the pages Alec found a whole chapter on the history of the parabatai bond. To his great surprise it didn't start in the 11th century with Jonathan Shadowhunter and David The Silent, the first two male Shadowhunters becoming parabatai. Instead, Alec found three thousand years of history. He learnt that the word parabatai came from the Ancient Greek heniochoi kai parabatai which meant 'charioteers and side-men'. The parabatai, meaning the side-man, was paired with a charioteer. They were a team and the parabatai fought from the chariot while the charioteer was driving. The parabatai was fighting and protecting the driver, while the driver, in turn, gave the parabatai greater speed, momentum and therefore a considerable advantage in battle. 'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts' was the theory behind it. They were partners that would lay down their lives for each other.

The heniochoi kai parabatai were the precursors of the 'Sacred Band of Thebes', Alec read. Thebes was one of the most important cities in ancient Greece. The Theban Sacred Band consisted of 150 pairs of male lovers - Alec nearly dropped the book at that word - who were considered the elite force of the Theban army more than two thousand years ago. Another source, the book said, described them as 'the first and the finest' among Thebans. They were an army of lovers, a standing force of 300 hand-picked men chosen solely for their skills and success in battle, regardless of their social class, forming 150 couples. They were 'devoted to each other by mutual obligations of love' and 'lovers and their favourites, thus indicating the dignity of the god Eros in that they embrace a glorious death in preference to a dishonourable and reprehensible life'. They lived together as partners, their lodging, expenses and training all provided for by the city of Thebes. The band was sacred as entering into it required taking an oath in front of the temple of Iolaus, the male lover of Hercules. It made one's lover a 'friend inspired of god'.

As it was such a successful way to form an army, taking the oath had spread through the ancient world. Heroes of Greek legends, like Achilles and Patroclus, had taken the oath as well as historical figures such as Alexander The Great and his beloved Hephaestion.

Even the famous Greek philosopher Plato had advocated this concept: 'And if there were only some way of contriving that a state or an army should be made up of lovers and their beloved, they would be the very best governors of their own city, abstaining from all dishonour, and emulating one another in honour; and when fighting at each other's side, although a mere handful, they would overcome the world. For what lover would not choose rather be seen by all mankind than by his beloved, either when abandoning his post or throwing away his arms? He would be ready to die a thousand deaths rather than endure this. Or who would desert his beloved or fail him in the hour of danger?'

The concept deeply resonated with Alec. Winning every single battle was crucial because of Jace. He wanted to protect him. It made failure a non-option. It was obvious that it would strengthen any army. An army consisting of lovers would fight harder than any other.

Reading on, Alec learnt that the practice of taking the sacred oath was abolished when Greece was Christianised, outlawing homosexuality. It was never practised again until Jonathan Shadowhunter and David The Silent rediscovered the ancient practice and became the first Nephilim parabatai. There weren't many Nephilim in the beginning and fewer parabatai. As the Nephilim grew in numbers the Clave was established. Eventually the Clave came into conflict with one of the few parabatai pairs that existed at the time, a married parabatai couple named Rohesia and Gilbert Beaumatin. The fallout of the conflict and the number of casualties were so great that the Clave established the crime of eros and enforced a law that required Nephilim to choose their parabatai as children, before they turned fourteen, to further decrease the risk of romantic love arising between them. Eventually, the age limit was raised to nineteen as the Clave came to see the benefits of having parabatai in their forces and they needed more of them. But the prohibition of love between parabatai remained.

The Clave was clearly afraid of a group of parabatai pairs in opposition. If parabatai in love could develop such great powers several of them could indeed pose a threat to the Clave. But if the pair was loyal to the Clave, Alec wondered, wouldn't they be the ultimate asset?

The next section of 'The Bond' dealt with the parabatai ceremony. It described how the parabatai-to-be had to drink each other's blood, take the oath and inscribe the runes on each other's bodies. It also mentioned that instead of exchanging blood three circles of fire could be used, which was nowadays the way of performing the ceremony. It was how Alec's and Jace's ceremony had been performed. However, the next few sentences made Alec's stomach drop.

'The second part of the parabatai ceremony is done in private, away from all others. It is where the parabatai come together to consummate their bond; without intercourse, the bond will not be complete and the parabatai will not reach the full potential of their power.'

Alec read the passage three times but the words never changed. All of this made Alec's head spin with questions. Kissing Jace, circumstances be damned, had felt right. Had their kiss really corrupted their bond? Or had it not rather brought it closer to completion? What if it was meant to be? What if his feelings were their bond calling out, asking to be consummated? What would Jace think about any of this? Had their kiss awakened something in Jace that had lain inside of him since the day of their ceremony? He had tried to kiss Alec again, for crying out loud.

Was the Clave keeping them from doing something that was natural, even necessary? Because right now, everything inside of Alec was crying out for Jace. He wanted to be in the same space as him, talk to him, take him in his arms. And so much more. What they had had so far, before the kiss, had been wonderful. But had it ever really been enough?

Flipping through the rest of the book Alec saw sections explaining the power of parabatai, how their love grew their strength and why the Clave and Angels opposed human love in general and between parabatai in particular.

It was basically an instruction manual for parabatai in love. It made Alec question everything else he had read so far, everything he knew about parabatai. In centuries gone by there must have been a real debate about what parabatai where meant to be and what they weren't. This one book was proof of it, it was in direct opposition to everything else he had found on the topic. It was just so typical of the Clave, Alec thought, to have one bad experience with something and then prohibit it for all eternity. Suddenly he felt like something had been taken away from him that he had never gotten to know, but that was his.

Alec was still lost in his thoughts when the fire message reached him.


	4. Where Do We Go From Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my amazing beta reader sapphicalexandra! Without you there would have been some embarrassing typos in this chapter.
> 
> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Where Do We Go From Here?" by Ruelle

' _There's been an incident. Meet me and Alec at apt 506_ _, 5th floor 33 Hudson St,_ _New Jersey. Pick up the key card for the lift and the apartment at reception. Activate your blocking rune before you go. - Clary_ ', the fire message had read before it had gone up in flames.

Jace had already been out, sorting out Downworlder relations for the Clave when he’d received the message. If Clary would have only chosen a Manhattan location. Sure, there might be something Alec didn't want to discuss inside the walls of the Institute, but New Jersey was a bit of a hike.

In any case, renting a small apartment was smart, he had done it with Alec and Isabelle before when they had sensitive things to talk about and work on that the Institute was no place for. Apartments were more comfortable to work from than hotel rooms, offering a living room that could be worked from and they were just so much more private than a co-working space.

Jace had just one concern. After he had gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar - also known as Alec's personal bubble - he had avoided all of them, Clary, Isabelle and especially Alec. Jace was glad he’d had a conversation with Clary as it had made him realise he had to stay away from Alec. They had to work together, of course, but he now always made sure that someone else was in the room, that he wasn't alone with Alec. He couldn’t risk that happening, when he was burning for Alec with every fibre of his being. He missed him, of course he did, and his heart was already beating faster thinking he would get to spend time around Alec today, even if it was for just for work.

At least Clary would be around to chaperone them. Jace didn't trust himself around Alec anymore, especially with that thing going on between them at night. That hadn't stopped, of course it hadn't, in fact they had given up trying. It was so simple, effortless and it was all they would ever have, too much and not enough - but they would have it, all of it.

It didn't make facing Alec easier during the day, though. Judging by Alec's reaction to Jace's presence every time they saw each other, he felt very much the same. Jace didn't like how awkward it made things between them, it shouldn't be like that. Hopefully, everything would soon go back to normal - or at least as normal as possible.

When Jace arrived at the address, he could already feel Alec's presence in the building. It made him agitated with anticipation, but he tried to ignore it and went to pick up the key card from reception.

“Hi,” he said, smiling at the receptionist behind the desk, “Jace Herondale. My friend Clary Fairchild has left a key for me.”

“Sure,” she said, searching her computer for a long minute. “What was her name again you said?” she asked.

“She might have used her maiden name,” Jace said, the white lie easily slipping from his lips, “Fray.”

Of course, Clary would use her mundane name for these kinds of things, he should have known. The receptionist kept looking at her screen.

“Oh, here it is,” she said with a big smile. “Here's your key card, check out is 10am tomorrow. Just take the elevator to the left. Enjoy your stay.”

“Don't think we'll stay that long but thanks,” Jace replied, anticipation again bubbling up inside of him. Was he really ready to face Alec, be in close quarters with him, talking work? Even with Clary around, it seemed daunting.

Jace called the lift and it was there in a heartbeat. He stepped inside, swiped his key card and selected the 5th floor.

This was _Alec_ , he told himself. Literally his best friend. Their souls were intertwined. There was no reason to be nervous, it would be fine. He and Alec would always make things work, one way or another.

Jace had managed to calm himself down by the time the lift stopped, the doors opened and he stepped out. A small smile played on his lips when he reached apartment 506 and swiped his key card. He let himself in and closed the door.

He stepped into a cosy living space with a small kitchenette, a comfortable looking, L-shaped couch and large, floor to ceiling windows. The place was facing another apartment building so the view wasn’t anything to write home about, but the blinds were half closed, providing privacy.

Alec was sitting on the couch, staring at his phone. Jace looked at him for a little too long and it made him want to sit next to him, wrap his arms around him. Instead, he forced his gaze away from Alec, his eyes scanning the living room and the kitchenette.

“Hey,” he greeted Alec absently. “Where's Clary?”

Jace spotted a pizza box on the countertop. Good, he thought, Clary had brought pizza. He was hungry.

“Clary?” Alec asked, turning towards him. “ _ _Izzy__ said she'd come here with you.”

“Izzy?” Jace said as he opened the pizza box. Pepperoni. His and Alec's favourite and it was still warm. He looked up and that's when the note stuck to the inside of the carton's lid caught his attention,  unmistakably in Isabelle's skewed handwriting.

“ _No incident has happened_ ,” he read out loud, “ _enjoy your pizza_.”

He looked up at Alec who'd come over to take a look for himself.

“They set us up,” Jace said.

“I'm going to kill them,” Alec mumbled. “I was busy. I thought this was serious.” He looked grumpy.

"Yeah, me too," Jace said. Had he come up here for nothing other than a silly ploy the girls had come up with? "What were you doing anyway?" he asked casually to avoid any awkward silence.

“Research,” Alec said, looking back down at the pepperoni. “We're gonna eat that pizza?”

“Hell yeah!” Jace exclaimed and suddenly Alec's grumpy expression turned into a warm smile that made Jace feel very light all of a sudden.

The atmosphere between them relaxed. Alec took the pizza box with a smile, put it down on the coffee table and sat down, sinking into the soft cushions with a sigh. Jace followed, smiling, taking his seat diagonally across from Alec, not too close but not far away on the edge of the couch either. It was comfortably warm in the room, the summer sun shining in a light-shadow-light pattern through the blinds. Jace took a slice of pizza, then relaxed back into the couch and ended up staring at nothing in particular outside the window.

“I missed you,” he finally said, turning his head towards Alec.

“I missed you too,” Alec said, shy smile playing on his lips.

“How much do you think they paid for this place? It’s big and New Jersey is expensive,” Jace said, shaking his head, laughing softly.

"I don't know," Alec said, "but it couldn't have been cheap, nothing here is, really. We better come back smiling from this, I'd hate to have to refund the girls."

“Yeah, let's avoid that,” Jace grinned.

They laughed. Finished their pizza. Made jokes at the expense of everyone at the Institute. Alec threw a pillow at Jace when he dared to bring up some embarrassing teenage memory. It felt like their salvation.

Eventually, Alec got up to get them a couple of glasses of water from the kitchenette. When he handed one of them to Jace their fingers brushed and for a second Jace held his breath, feeling his skin tingle where they touched. Alec felt it too, Jace could tell. They would have to talk about the elephant in the room, and thankfully it appeared a little less daunting now.

Jace took a sip of water, buying himself some time to collect his thoughts while Alec sat down, though on his side of the couch, a little closer to Jace this time.

“How much have we told the girls?” Alec asked, skirting the subject.

“I told Clary what happened at the Seelie court, but no details, of course,” Jace said, having to avert his eyes momentarily as he tried to shut out the memories. “But I'm sure you can tell she supports us.”

"Yeah," Alec laughed dryly, looking around the room. "Izzy does, too, but she's worried. Obviously, I didn't give her any details either, but even without those, it does concern her. We have already broken the law, it can get dangerous for us very quickly. And because of that, we need to be absolutely honest with each other, including all the inconvenient and uncomfortable truths. About what each of us wants and what we want to do, even if those are different things, even if it's painful. Let's leave this place knowing what we're going to do."

Jace nodded. He loved Alec for always being so level-headed, for always having a plan, it made him put all his trust in Alec, it made him feel safe.

Jace suddenly felt brave. “You know, I __loved__ kissing you,” he said. “That's why I tried to do it again.” He smiled. “And it did something to me that I can't quite explain. I mean, there was the physical shock of it. It took me completely by surprise. The strength that I felt was something else.”

“I felt that too,” Alec said. “I hadn't expected it at all. But I did some research this morning, went down to the archive and pulled out some books about the parabatai bond, including from the classified section. Don't worry, I was careful. I got different stories from different books but the consensus seems to be that parabatai who go beyond a platonic bond will develop great power, to the point of magic. It has happened before.”

"So that is what that was," Jace said. He hadn't thought of it before, but it made sense. The power that had run through him when Alec had kissed him had felt different from activating a rune. "It also felt overwhelming,” Jace continued, “and I mean incomparably good and I've had vampire venom in my bloodstream. Even that doesn't compare, not to kissing you."

Alec covered his face with his hands. “Same,” he finally said. “It was overwhelming. You know I've loved you for far too many years. I had pictured kissing you so many times but nothing could have prepared me for the reality of it, especially when you kissed me back. I had never felt so much love and need to possess in my life.” Alec looked up and straight into Jace's eyes.

Jace's heart skipped a beat. Those words, that look in Alec’s eyes. His mouth went dry and the room was suddenly too warm, it took him a moment to catch himself again.

“I guess I surprised you there with my response,” Jace said with a smile.

Alec raised his eyebrows. “That's an understatement.”

"Trust me, I didn't see that coming either. I guess more than one thing changed in that moment," Jace said. He hesitated for a second. There was more that he wanted to say but he didn't know how to. He needed all his courage when he finally said, "I also want you to know that you don't have to feel guilty about touching yourself at night."

Alec froze, then turned his gaze towards the window again, visibly conflicted.

Jace couldn't bear the distance between them anymore and moved to sit next to Alec, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. First Alec stiffened but then relaxed into the embrace. The contact made them both shiver. Jace felt their heartbeats speeding up and syncing, become one again. He leaned his forehead against Alec's temple and whispered, "I like it. You should know that already, I know you feel it."

“I do now, but I was worried that by kissing you I had corrupted our bond,” Alec confessed.

“That's past tense,” Jace said and smiled. “What changed your mind?”

“Something I read this morning. All the books I found in the archive talked about how forbidden this is, why it is forbidden. The short story is that at one point two parabatai in love tried to take down the Clave. It was a battle the Clave nearly lost because the parabatai had become too powerful due to their enhanced bond. The magic they were wielding must have been comparable to or greater than that of a powerful warlock, it scared the Clave to death. Consequently, the Clave worried it could happen again and that's why they criminalised __eros__. Before this unfortunate event, __eros__  between parabatai was accepted, maybe even encouraged.”

Jace straightened up in surprise. “What?”

"I found it hard to believe as well, but apparently, __parabatai__ was originally a mundane concept that dates back to Ancient Greece. Back then they built entire armies out of couples. Fighting alongside their lover was supposed to make the warriors stronger, more determined as they would want to protect the one they loved." Alec reached up and squeezed Jace's hand that was still resting on his shoulder, causing Jace to smile and lean in closer again.

"It's a long story,” Alec continued, “but although they were considered the best of the best, becoming parabatai fell out of practice with mundanes a long time ago. But the tradition was later picked up again by the first Shadowhunters. Then at one point, the Clave had one really bad experience with two parabatai that went rogue. It was a close call, it probably could have been the end of the Clave and that frightened them enough to feel the need to limit the power of parabatai - and apparently, the only way to do that was to stop them from being … __intimate__. Hence the prohibition.”

"No wonder this kind of information is classified." Jace was shocked. His head was suddenly full of questions, his thoughts raced.

Were there more parabatai like them? Secretly in love and desperate to be together but too terrified to break the law? What would life be like if he and Alec had been a couple from the beginning of their bond?

He took Alec's hand and intertwined their fingers, it helped him quench his growing need for more physical contact, at least a little.

"When you kissed me," Jace said, "I suddenly realised that we had to be like this, it became frighteningly clear. Kissing you felt right, no matter what the law says. It felt like … I don't know how to say it because I don't want to hurt you or ask things of you that you can't give me … but it felt like that kiss was a step towards the completion of our bond."

Jace hesitated, unsure if he should say the rest as well but then he saw Alec look at him with wide eyes, felt him squeeze his hand harder and a wave of strong emotions come through the bond, their heartbeats accelerated so he continued, "I don't think our bond is fully complete yet, there's one thing left to do."

Have sex. Jace couldn't get himself to say the word, instead he stared into Alec's eyes, reached into their bond, searching. But he knew that Alec had understood when he said, "It used to happen right after the parabatai ceremony."

For a moment it was dead silent in the room. Alec's words and their meaning slowly sank in. Then Jace felt with new awareness and pain the __gap__ in their bond, the missing piece that was meant to be there but wasn't.

“The Clave is taking something from us that is __ours__ ,” Jace said, the realisation painful and infuriating at the same time.

"Without a complete bond, we can't access its full potential," Alec said. “The Clave is afraid of us having the kind of power a complete bond would grant us. They derune parabatai who committed __eros__  straight away. And since demons are known to go after deruned Shadowhunters, it's basically a death sentence."

“The Clave would have to catch you first before they can derune you,” Jace said, but he sounded less confident than he had wanted to.

“I think they catch most,” Alec said. “They're watching parabatai they feel suspicious of. This morning I found out that Michael Wayland had been in love with dad. Somebody must have figured it out and told the Clave. They were both under heavy surveillance for two years, but the Clave never found anything incriminating. Michael eventually met his future wife Eliza Rosewain and only then they dropped it.”

Jace's heart sank. There was no way they could take risks like that. Alec had just become the head of the Institute, it had been his dream for so long. Going further than they already had could rip that away from him and more. They could end up dead. He would never want to endanger Alec like that. A great sadness overcame him looking at Alec.

“I'm so sorry our kiss at the Seelie court ruined your relationship with Magnus,” Jace said. “I am so, so sorry. You would have been happy with him, a perfectly legal relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship that you can enjoy freely.” A mirthless laugh escaped him. “I just hope that the two of you can fix things, one day.”

But Alec gave him a sad smile, shaking his head. "Now that Magnus knows exactly how much I still love you, he can't go back to what we had. It's understandable, he doesn't want to be someone's second choice and I agree with him. He deserves better. Even for Downworlder cabinet related business, Isabelle has taken over talking to Magnus for the time being. Magnus and me, that's over for good. It's my own fault so don't even think about blaming yourself, Jace," Alec said as if he was reading his mind.

After a long pause Jace said, “We are spoiled for other people.”

“Things still might work out for you, Jace,” Alec said. “You're not into men anyways. This, us, isn't what you really want, it's just an effect the kiss had on the bond, possibly just temporarily.”

"No! No, Alec, it's not like that. Please don't say that," Jace pleaded. "I love you. I am in love with you.” Jace barely grasped what he had just said and he continued, “And I am sorry it took so much and so long for me to get here. But this is how I feel. And it's not going to go away. You know that. You've spent most of your life trying to resist it. Maybe it would have worn off for you if we hadn't become parabatai. But how can it ever go away when our souls are connected? When it is meant to be? How can it ever go away now that I know what it feels like to kiss you? Now that I know what we could have if the Clave only let us? If anything you found out about our bond is true, then being parabatai goes beyond liking men or women, it ties you to that one person, the one that owns your soul. If I could be your parabatai in every way I am meant to be, I would give you everything and never look back. I love you."

He was shaking, held onto Alec tighter, clenching his hand. All of Alec's love and sadness and desperation mixed with his own. Alec touched their foreheads together. Then his breath ghosted across Jace’s lips and his voice broke when he said, "I love you too, Jace Herondale. I always have, and I always will."

They finally knew with painful clarity that they wanted each other in every way. That they couldn't have each other in every way seemed like an iniquitous injustice.

“We would never go rogue on the Clave,” Alec said, “if they let us be together. We could be an asset to them. Loyal.” But they both knew they were grasping at straws. The law was hard but it was the law.

Tears welled up in Jace's eyes and he struggled to hold them back. His eyes searched Alec's and he found the same sadness reflected there, tears threatening to spill, they both were barely holding it together.

"I want to be with you, Alec," Jace whispered. "And we have gone too far already. They're going to find out anyways, too many people know already. The Seelie Queen could tell the Clave any day. Magnus knows. What if Clary or Izzy ever have to hold the soul sword for any reason? It would come out."

"And we're committing that crime every night anyway, even if we're not physically together," Alec admitted.

"Exactly," Jace said, and with one swift move he was on top of Alec, straddling his lap. "Even if one of us was sleeping with someone else, the other would still be part of it, feel all of it."

"Yes," Alec said, breathing heavily. Jace wasn't sure if his response was to Jace's words or his actions. But Alec looked gorgeous under him.

Jace looked him straight in the eye. “It's too late.”

“Far too late,” Alec said as he put his hands on Jace's waist, one of them over his parabatai rune. The touch burned Jace through his shirt in the most pleasant of ways. The heat spread through his entire body.

“So let’s enjoy this before we go to hell,” Jace whispered, leaning down, grabbing Alec's neck and tangling his fingers in his hair.

“All of it.”

That was all the encouragement Jace needed to close the gap between them and finally, finally kiss Alec for the second time in his life.

Jace had thought he knew what to expect this time, but the fierce reaction of their bodies surprised him when the shock of their kiss ran through them like electricity and the surge of strength came, even more powerful than the first time. Jace felt his muscles ripple under the force of it. He parted his lips and took Alec's lower lip between his own, lightly running his tongue across it. Alec moaned, opening up beautifully, letting him in, letting him taste him.

Warm energy coursed through them when their tongues met. Jace was already getting hard, wanting more, needing more. Joy and pleasure flowed through their bond, they were drunk on it.

When Jace slightly pulled away, Alec chased him. Hungry lips captured Jace's own and strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. Then Alec pushed his own body up against Jace, and the delicious pressure of it was maddening. If there were any doubts left, they were washed away by the bliss and need that took hold of them. Jace knew this was __right__. It was necessary. It was inevitable. His only regret was that they had waited so long. It was time that they finally completed their bond once and for all.

Jace grabbed a fistful of Alec's hair at the back of his head, forcing him to tilt his head back, exposing his throat. Alec hummed happily when Jace kissed his blocking rune, traced it with his tongue. Then Jace bit down and Alec loudly gasped, his hips bucking up. Now all Jace wanted to do was to make Alec scream. He knew how twisted it was, but all of this made him want to write a thank you card to the fucking Seelie Queen for making his parabatai his alone, irrevocably.

He felt Alec push his hands under his shirt and the sudden sensation of Alec's hands on his bare skin made him cry out in pleasure. Alec's hands wandered further up his torso, it left Jace on fire.

He put his arms above his head in an open invitation for Alec to help him take off his shirt. And Alec did, pushing Jace's shirt up his body, over his head - but he let it rest there, mock-trapping his arms behind his head. Jace grinned, he liked the turn things took. Alec looked up at him, one hand on the small of his back as the other trailed lightly over Jace's parabatai rune. It was sensitive and Jace's hips jerked forward in response to the touch. Alec look pleased with himself and he didn't stop looking Jace in the eye when he leaned forward and took one of Jace's nipples in his mouth. Jace squirmed. Alec sucked on his nipple, flicked his tongue over it and all the sensations along with the look in Alec's eyes travelled straight down to his cock. He struggled against his shirt, trying to get his arms free. He pulled until it finally came off and fell to the floor.

The moment his hands were free they were caressing Alec's neck, running through his hair. Alec looked up at him, the corners of his mouth turning upwards. Without breaking eye contact, he moved over to the other nipple. First Alec ran the tip of his tongue over it before sucking at it and then very lightly taking it between his teeth, sending new shivers of pleasure through Jace. His pants were unbearably tight now, his hips pushed forward, he was unable to control himself any longer.

"Bedroom," was all he said before he untangled himself from Alec's grip and got up, grabbing Alec by the hand. If Alec hadn't been so quick to get on his feet and follow him, Jace would have dragged him to the bedroom. They stumbled through the door, kicking off their shoes. Jace practically tore Alec's shirt off of him. Then Alec was onto him, with the predatory look and the smooth moves of a panther, hustling Jace further into the room until the back of his knees hit the bed. With Alec moving closer, he had no choice but to sit down. He looked up and Alec was positively towering over him. His breath caught and his mind went blank. Alec leaned down and Jace scrambled further onto the bed to make room for him. Alec followed swiftly, climbing on top of him.

The sight of Alec on top of him was enough to drive Jace mad. He wanted this. The strength and energy flowing through them grew by the minute, feeding off of their intimacy. Jace's hands eagerly went for Alec's belt and he futilely ripped at the buckle for a moment before it finally opened. With a rough flick of his wrist, he had Alec's fly open and pushed his pants and underwear down. Alec kicked them off, and when they hit the floor a split second later, Jace was already working on opening his own belt.

He was taken by surprise when Alec pushed his hands away and pinned them above his head. But he loved being manhandled like that by Alec. He moaned when he felt Alec's delicious weight settling on top of him, pressing him into the mattress. Their fingers entwined and Jace's heart rejoiced. He could feel how Alec's did too. Their upper bodies were finally skin to skin. The need to take his own pants off too was overwhelming. He struggled a little against Alec's grip on him, but not in earnest, he enjoyed it way too much for that, so he let himself be firmly held down.

Alec softly kissed his cheek, then moved to his neck. Jace gasped when Alec kissed a particularly sensitive spot near his pulse point. His reaction didn't go unnoticed and he felt Alec's tongue slowly slide over it. He shuddered as Alec's five o'clock shade lightly scrape the sensitive skin on his neck. Alec started sucking at that sensitive spot and Jace's head fell back as he helplessly squirmed under him. That finally gave them a hint of much-needed friction, but Alec pulled away and Jace let out a frustrated moan. He didn't start complaining though, because a moment later Alec was holding Jace's wrists together with a single hand, the other one first working Jace's belt-buckle open and then his fly. He let go of Jace's wrists to pull his pants off and toss them aside. When Alec climbed back on top of him, Jace wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

Sliding against each other fully naked for the first time set them on fire. Their erections were trapped between their bodies and once again Jace felt an all-consuming need to move.

He pulled Alec in for a hungry kiss and then used a fighting move to flip their positions. Alec smirked. Jace was sure Alec had seen it coming, had to have felt Jace's intention through the bond.

But having Alec naked beneath him was something else. His hands found their way into Alec's hair and Alec went for that spot on his neck again and Jace let his head fall to the side to give Alec better access. He was lost in a multitude of sensations: Alec's soft hair between his fingers. Alec's lips on his neck, slowly moving lower. Alec's hands holding onto his hips. Their legs tangled, their hips rocking together.

Before he knew what was happening Jace felt his climax building. He tried to move away, it was far too early, but Alec firmly pulled him down, still sucking on his neck with the sure determination to leave a bruise. Jace __whimpered__. That's when Alec bit down with a vengeance. Something inside Jace snapped. The sudden, overwhelming need to come annihilated all his willpower to hang on, to do this __properly__. His world reduced to Alec, his body jolted forward, moving their erections together. Jace frantically ground against Alec, his hands tightened in Alec's hair and they both cried out as pleasure consumed them. They came together, the intensity of it wiping all their thoughts. As they rocked against each other, something cracked loudly, probably one of the slats under the bed. With the last waves of their climax, Jace collapsed on top of Alec, passing out for a second or two.

The next thing he knew was Alec running a hand through his hair, kissing his forehead. There was far too much love flowing through their bond, but Jace could also feel a certain discontent.

“I'm sorry,” Alec said.

Jace froze, panic swept over him. Alec hadn't wanted this. In the heat of the moment, Jace had pushed him too far, into something they shouldn't have done. He should have never dragged him into the bedroom and now Alec, trying not to hurt him, was letting him down gently in a quest to pretend this never happened five minutes from now. Guilt and regret threatened to crush him. He was horrible. He was a horrible, horrible person and he should have never pulled Alec into this.

Alec must have felt his inner turmoil, of course he did, because he cupped Jace's face and looked at him, concern written all over his face. It made Jace feel even worse.

“For pushing us over the edge so early,” Alec clarified, and Jace felt his body go lax with relief, sagging against Alec as he continued, “I should have let us take our time to have actual …”

“Oh,” was all that Jace could say.

“I didn't mean to startle you,” Alec said. “Of course I don't regret what happened, I could never.”

His doubts washed away and he pulled Alec in for a tender kiss, ignoring the sticky mess on their skin. When he pulled away, Alec leaned in for another quick peck and said, “I'm just going to grab something from the bathroom to clean us up.”

Jace smiled as he watched Alec get up and walk over to the bathroom. It was a fine view.

He came back a moment later, two washcloths in hand. Jace stretched like a cat when Alec sat back down on the bed and proceeded to clean him. The warm, wet cloth felt amazing against his skin. And he sighed as Alec gently wiped him down there with the soft cloth, then moved further up to his stomach, his chest. Jace languorously watched as Alec cleaned him, indulged him. Had he ever been taken care of like this? Alec softly kissed his clean skin before coming up to kiss his lips. Jace kissed back, savouring the caress before he gently rolled Alec on his back and took the second cloth to return the favour.

Taking care of Alec like that was nice, he liked cleaning his parabatai with gentle moves. It also gave Jace a chance to study Alec's body. Over the years they had seen each other in various states of undress countless times, but this was different. Alec's muscular body, his flat stomach, his most private areas, it was all laid out in front of him, for him. His to touch, his to take care of. It felt just as intimate as the things they had done before.

Alec must have watched him staring because after a long moment of silence he asked, “Is it weird for you? I mean - you were never into guys. And now this, me - you never saw me that way.”

Jace shook his head, smiling at Alec. “No, it's not weird. It's unexpected, sure, but in a good way.”

He put the cloth away and leaned down to kiss Alec.

“I like that I get to do __this__ ,” Jace said with as a mischievous smile as he started running a hand down Alec's body, fingers spread, from his pecs down his stomach and over his hip and around until he rested it on Alec's backside. “To be honest,” Jace continued, “looking back it is beyond me how I didn't get it up for you every single time when we were sparring in the past. That's going to change now.”

“I'm surprised you never noticed how much it excited me every time,” Alec said, looking up at him.

“Oh, I did,” Jace replied with a smirk. “You flattered me too much for my own good.”

And with that he was on top of Alec again, kissing him as they both still grinned. The kiss quickly turned slow and gentle, their lips just lightly brushing against each other. Their earlier orgasm had taken the urgency off and slowed them down. Their heartbeats were one and the same energy as before was flowing through them, but it was calmer now, steady and heavy.

Alec's hands were wandering over Jace's body, exploring. Jace hummed in approval and deepened the kiss. Alec's tongue glided slowly over his own and it made him see stars. He moaned into the kiss as Alec's hands kept caressing his bare skin, leaving him wanting more.

It was heaven to be so close, so wrapped up in each other.

Alec rolled them over to switch positions again, his weight coming to rest on top of Jace. Something inside Jace's stomach tightened, it was already making him hard again.

Alec pulled away a little and propped himself up on his elbows. Jace couldn't take his eye off him when he moved his index finger to Jace's lip. He stroked Jace's hair as he pushed just the tip of his finger between Jace's lips. Jace welcomed it immediately and brushed against it with his tongue. Alec pushed it in a little deeper and Jace started circling it with his tongue, playing with it. He then sucked at it, taking it in deeper again, all the while looking into Alec's eyes. Alec's eyes were beautiful. They were naturally hazel but easily picked up the colours of the surroundings making them appear green or grey or brown, sometimes even blue. Now they were darkening and Jace felt like they were looking into his very soul. And of course, they were. Jace felt vulnerable and it was intoxicating, just as the strong and steady pulse of the energy between them was. Alec withdrew his finger from Jace's mouth and brushed it over his bottom lip and over his chin, down his throat leaving a wet trail behind. He moved it further down over Jace's heart where he stopped, placing his hand flat over it.

“Take me,” Jace whispered and Alec's eyes widened. He knew Alec was just as turned on by this, Alec's hard cock was pressing into his leg and a drop of pre-cum leaking onto his skin were proof enough.

"You sure you want it that way?" Alec asked. "If you like, you can …," he trailed off, suddenly seeming unsure. "I want to make this good for you,” Alec said. “It's just that I've never topped before, never been inside someone." He looked away and insecurity came through the bond, mingling with all the love and lust and need.

“I'm sure,” Jace said, taking Alec's face between his hands, forcing him to look at him. “I've never done anything like this before and if, in some way, it can be a first for both of us, it just makes it all the more special.”

He came up to capture Alec's lips. They moved together smoothly, tongues dancing and then Alec pressed him back down into the mattress. They stayed like this for a moment, savouring the warmth and intimacy, but then Alec moved off of him and grabbed his pants from the floor, taking something from one of the pockets - a couple of small lube packets. Had Alec come here prepared for this? Jace could only wonder. But then it dawned on him.

Alec wouldn't bring lube to a meeting with him and his sister, but it had been less than a full week since his break-up with Magnus. He probably had always carried some in his pocket just in case Magnus portaled them to Venice for a romantic date and torrid sex in a hotel overlooking the canals. The thought stung and naturally, Alec picked up on it. He looked like he was about to say something, but Jace just shook his head. "Don't worry."

“He has nothing on you,” was all Alec said.

Jace nodded. It was all the reassurance he needed, in fact he was internally beaming at how quickly he was making Alec __forget__ Magnus and their break-up. It should have made him feel bad, but he couldn’t care less when all he really wanted to do was to make Alec scream.

Alec climbed back onto the bed and onto him. He kissed him fiercely. When Alec pulled back to rip one of the lube packets open with his teeth, Jace's stomach dropped. He watched intently as Alec sat up on his knees and coated his fingers with lube. Seeing Alec between his legs was a sight Jace would never forget, that much was sure. And thinking about what he was about to do, how intimately he was going to touch him only made him grow harder.

“I'm going to prepare you,” Alec said, one hand gently stroking Jace's thigh. “Just relax. We'll take it slow.”

Jace let his legs fall apart a little wider. When he felt Alec's wet finger push against his entrance, it sent tingly sparks up his spine and he would have let out a moan, but then Alec let his finger slowly slide into him and the small movement alone knocked the wind out of Jace's lungs.

“Angel,” he cursed as Alec started to work him open, slowly moving his finger in and out, “that feels good.”

Alec smiled and kept going for a minute, before he pulled his finger out, leaving Jace feeling strangely empty. But soon he felt two fingertips at his entrance and he bit his lower lip at the thought of what they were going to do. He looked down and saw his own cock, hard and swollen resting against his stomach. Alec was kneeling between his spread legs, naked, one of his hands holding on to Jace's thigh, the other moving forward, muscles tense as Alec pushed two fingers inside of him. It was intense, to say the least, and he felt a burn, not unpleasant though, as Alec's fingers went deeper.

“Relax,” Alec told him, caressing his thigh.

Jace did his best to relax his muscles and after a moment he was able to let go of the tension he was holding. Bit by bit Alec pushed deeper. Jace was already breathing heavily when Alec started moving in and out, slowing finger fucking him. It was outrageously private, no one had ever touched him like that and he was glad, that this was something he would only ever share with Alec. With his parabatai.

Alec scissored his fingers to stretch him further and it was blissful. Their bond seemed to grow stronger all the while, enveloping them in their own bubble. Then Alec pushed in a little deeper again and crooked his fingers. Pleasure shot through Jace, he cursed as his head lifted off the bed in shock.

“Fuck!” he groaned. “Do that again.”

And Alec did, he pulled out and pushed back in, curling his fingers in just the right way. It had Jace coiling up again, hands digging into the sheets, teeth biting into his lower lip, but unable to suppress the moan that escaped him. He fell back onto the bed with a thud. If that was what sex with Alec felt like, Jace had wasted precious years of his life.

Alec withdrew his fingers and Jace felt disappointingly empty again. He wouldn't for long, he knew that much. But as he watched Alec cover himself in lube, Jace could only wonder how he was possibly going to __fit__. Alec was a tall man and he was big. Jace swallowed.

“Try to relax,” Alec said as he was lining himself up with Jace's entrance, “that will make it easier.”

Jace needed this, something inside him was screaming for Alec to proceed, to push inside of him. To take him.

Then Jace felt the blunt head of Alec's cock against his hole. He instinctively knew that he would have normally tensed up at that, but this was Alec and his body somehow recognised him, knew what this was okay, that this was meant to happen. When Alec started to slowly push in, Jace moaned. Their parabatai runes lit up with a golden glow that shone brighter and brighter.

Alec took his hand and their fingers entwined. When Jace looked into his eyes, all he saw was naked love. Their bond was overflowing with affection and fondness and Jace felt utterly unworthy of the love engulfing him, but he had no time to think about it as Alec was pushing in further, the sensation overpowering everything else. He felt incredibly full already but Alec kept pushing forward, going impossibly deeper. They both groaned when Alec bottomed out.

A new form of power seized them. In any other situation, they would have stopped to marvel at it, to take it in, tried to understand it, but right now they were both incapable of focusing on anything but their connection and the spot where their bodies were joined.

Alec pulled back and then slid back in again, this time hitting Jace's prostate spot on, causing him to cry out as his back arched off the bed.

 

***

 

Alec's heart nearly stopped when he slid into Jace for the very first time. He was impossibly tight and Alec almost came on the spot. This was too good. The expression on Jace's face was just as awed, eyes wide and mouth open. Alec was painfully in love with him, more than ever.

A new surge of energy entered their bodies and in that very moment Jace didn't look like an angel. He looked like a god. And it was with reverence that Alec pulled back just to dive back in, determined to hit Jace's sweet spot. The only thing that mattered was making Jace feel impossibly good. And oh Angel, he made sure he did. Jace was arching off the bed, as their moans filled the room. It took Alec everything not to come - the fact that he had come just a little earlier barely helped, the feeling of Jace wrapped tightly around him was divine. He was in the most delicious way cramped inside of him.

Alec didn't trust himself to thrust again just yet so he leaned down to kiss Jace, gentle and passionate all at once. Jace's lips were soft and warm and responding eagerly, keen to let him in. Hands caressed bare skin, fingers curled around soft hair as their bond floated through them, secure and warm. At the same time there was a new strength in it, quiet and waiting, but building as if getting ready to pounce.

It was Jace who couldn't take it any longer and rocked his hips upwards. “Please.”

“I'm not going to last,” Alec said.

Jace squeezed his hand a little tighter in reassurance. "I love you." He smiled up at Alec.

“And I love you, parabatai,” Alec told him, squeezing his hand too.

“Then let's take what is ours,” Jace said and smirked, and that was all the invitation Alec needed.

He pulled almost all the way out and then thrust back into Jace in one smooth motion. With every thrust he hit his prostate in all the right ways and Jace kept screaming his name. Jace’s erection was trapped between their bodies, rubbing against his stomach. Jace was hanging onto Alec for dear life, blunt fingernails digging into his shoulders, his neck.

“Alec … Alec … Alec!” His moans were like a prayer.

Alec had never been more turned on, Jace felt incredible. The world had long dissolved and there was only them, only the spot where their bodies were connected in the most intimate of ways. Sensitive skin pushed against tender nerve ends and there was nothing but smooth thrusts and a world that seemed to become tighter and tighter.

Their bond was burning brightly between them, overflowing with love and need. Alec was screaming Jace's name now too. Jace firmly clamped around him and it was too tight, too good. Alec became incapable of holding back. Their release shook them with unexpected intensity as their souls fused together tightly and everything fell into place. Pure white light, blindingly bright exploded from their parabatai runes as they came together. They shook violently through it and so did the world around them. They were one, they were complete, finally. Alec rode it out as long as possible, making sure he gave Jace every last bit of pleasure, every last bit of himself as he filled him. He was utterly spent at the end.

They collapsed onto the mattress, their bodies shaking from the intensity of it, but they were still clinging onto each other. With their heartbeats still running away, they stayed like this for a while, needing time to come down from the high. Eventually, the shaking stopped and their worn out bodies relaxed.

“That was amazing,” Jace said and Alec laughed softly.

They exchanged a long, slow kiss. In the end, Alec pulled away and smiled at Jace. He looked him in the eye and for a second he was puzzled - it was like looking into a mirror. Jace's appearance hadn't changed and of course, he looked nothing like Alec, but through his eyes, he could almost see half his soul reside inside Jace. Jace looked equally surprised, as he saw himself in Alec.

Alec could already tell that they were even more in tune now than before - it wasn't like he could read Jace's thoughts but every emotion came through now much clearer. It was as if there had been a veil between them that was now lifted. They were one, finally complete in the way they should have been years ago.

Before Jace even moved Alec knew he was about to pull him in for another kiss.

 

***

 

They must have fallen asleep because when Jace had his next conscious thought it was dark. His head was nestled to Alec's chest, strong arms wrapped around him and he wanted nothing but stay like this forever. In his entire life, he had never felt so loved, so safe. He stayed as still as possible to let Alec sleep.

Jace had spent his childhood at the mercy of a brute to whom he was little more than an experiment. Sure, in his own way Valentine had loved him, had taken on the father role, but Jace had never received much affection or care. When his 'father' had 'died' Jace had gone to live with the Lightwoods and that's when things had gotten better, that's when he had met Alec.

There had been something about Alec that had drawn Jace to him the moment they had met. Something about Alec had resonated deeply with him, it had made him trust him completely. And Alec had shown a determination to love Jace that he only now was able to recognize for what it was. Jace had clung onto him like a drowning boy to a helping hand - Alec had been and still was his lifeline, that’s why he had chosen to be his parabatai.

Even now with all the risks they were taking, he would never ever regret the sacred bond he had entered with Alec. It was everything to him, and now it was finally all it had been meant to be from the start. The thought of it filled him with love to the brim. Alec was his in every way and Jace would do anything to protect him, to protect their love, whatever it took.

Alec stirred and Jace knew he was waking up before he even opened his eyes. With their completed bond in place, Jace was much more aware of Alec's state of mind, of course he was, part of him lived inside Alec.

“Hey,” Alec croaked, his voice hoarse.

Jace gave him a little peck on the cheek. “Looks like we fell asleep.”

“How late is it?” Alec asked. “ It's dark already.”

“Don't know, but can't be that late. You're not thinking about heading back to the Institute yet, are you?”

“Not just yet,” Alec said with a smile.

“We can take our time, go back tomorrow morning,” Jace said.

“I don't want people to get suspicious, wondering where I am with my parabatai all night,” Alec said, brushing back a strand of Jace's hair.

“I'm sure Izzy got it handled. If they ask she'll tell them we're on some kind of important secret mission.”

“Sounds legit,” Alec said dryly.

“Well, I am a man on a mission that is both important and secret - so yeah, very legit,” Jace grinned.

“And what kind of mission is that?” Alec asked, propping his head up on one elbow.

“I can't tell you,” Jace said conspiratorially, “but I can show you.”

Alec's smile widened and Jace rolled him onto his back and climbed onto of him. They kissed, hunger growing again. Jace then pecked his cheek and whispered, “You don't know half the things I want to do to you, Alec,” knowing full well it would send shivers down Alec's spine.

He started making his way down Alec's body, leaving a trail of kisses. When he reached Alec's parabatai rune he stopped to kiss it reverently. Alec moaned.

"It's sensitive, isn't it?" Jace said before bending down to trace its length with his tongue. It made Alec quiver. Jace smirked and grabbed the lube. He could more sense than actually see Alec's raised eyebrows when he said, "You're insatiable, Jace." He sounded all too pleased with himself.

“I can stop if you want me to,” Jace said as he started to coat his fingers with lube. He didn't get a reply, but the anticipation and desire flowing through their bond were answer enough.

Jace had never had anal sex before today, not even with a woman, it just wasn't something he had even thought about. He wasn't nervous - he was with __Alec__ after all - but he did feel a little agitated. Well, he would soon enough have an opportunity to work that off.

“Spread your legs for me, babe,” he said and a smile crossed his face when Alec immediately obeyed.

Slowly he worked a single finger inside Alec, just lightly starting to stretch him open. He let his finger slide in and out several times, moved it around a little, copying what Alec had done to him earlier on and soon enough he added a second finger. This time Alec's body put up the slightest bit of resistance but then relaxed almost immediately. Jace slowly but surely pushed his fingers in. Bit by bit they went deeper until he hit something that had to be Alec's prostate, solely judging by the reaction he got out of him by pressing down on that spot -  Alec gasped and jolted. “Fuck, Jace!”

He smirked as he moved his fingers in and out a few more times, properly stretching Alec. He made sure to hit his prostate every time, it was a treat to see him squirm, hear his moans and Alec pushed back on his fingers all too eagerly. Once he was sure Alec was loose enough he pulled out. He started to lube himself up when he told Alec, "Roll over and get on your hands and knees."

Alec complied right away. Jace was pleased, he liked being in control as much as he liked handing it over, but this time Alec would be his. He knelt between Alec's legs and lined himself up with his entrance. Carefully he pressed against it and neither of them could suppress a moan when he started to press in. Again he felt Alec's body resist a little at first but then welcoming him in. He wasn't even halfway in when it became clear to him why Alec had struggled so much to keep it together earlier. He had had no idea how tight Alec would be, he was definitely tighter than any woman Jace had ever been with and it took all his self-control to keep himself from coming. No wonder Alec had been so literally on the edge from the get-go when their roles had been reversed. Jace carefully pushed in deeper. Alec was tight and hot and slick thanks to the lube. It felt indefinitely better than vaginal sex - this here was a whole different beast.

Jace began to move in and out of Alec, adopting a lazy rhythm. It felt unreal - it was Alec all around him, squeezing him in the best possible way. His hands roamed Alec's body, his soft skin and Jace bent down to kiss it. He licked one of the runes on Alec's back and felt him shiver, the sensation reverberating through his own body. He pressed himself against Alec's back, changing the angle slightly and with the next thrust, he hit Alec's prostate dead on. Alec __screamed__ with pleasure. Jace was going to make sure to hit his sweet spot with every single thrust.

"I want you to feel how much I love you," Jace said as he thrust into him in just the right way.  It reduced Alec to a shuddering mess beneath him, crying with ecstasy. Jace had never felt like this before, pressed against Alec's back, fucking him deeply, thoroughly. It was heaven.

Alec reached up, tried to touch himself but Jace caught his hand and held it down, then he stopped his movements. “No, Alec, you're mine and this is me making you come. I am going to give it to you, me alone. You don't touch yourself, no rubbing against the sheets. Can you do that for me babe?”

“Yes.”

“I can stop and leave you to your own devices if you think this is not going to be enough.” Jace was teasing, but he kept his voice serious.

“No, Jace, please. I want it to be you.” Alec hesitated. “I promise I'll be good.”

“Good,” Jace smiled, kissing his back again.

With that, he started pounding into him mercilessly. It was exhilarating. Alec's pleasure blossomed beneath him, along with his own as he kept hitting that sensitive little bundle of nerves inside Alec. And Alec was making beautiful noises, filthy low moans and pleading whimpers. There was nothing better in this world than making Alec feel so, so good.

“Fuck this is beautiful,” Jace gasped as he felt Alec starting to tighten around him even more.

He kept rocking his hips fiercely and Alec met his every thrust, pushing back on him, chasing his own release. Jace knew that they were going to come so hard again, he could feel it building inside of them. This was going to be good.

Since the Seelie court, they had only ever come together, whether they were physically together or not. They were so in sync, it always hit them at the same time. Jace had stopped thinking of it as his climax, as Alec's climax. It was __their__ climax and it was better than anything else he had experienced. It was as if his pleasure and Alec's pleasure combined fed off each other and became much greater than the sum of their parts. It was devastating every time and Jace knew that it wasn't far away now. They were going to come so __hard__.

He thrust a couple more times and delicious tension was building and building between them. His brain switched off and all he could feel was his erection, buried deep inside Alec, pressing into his prostate. He heard Alec's screams of pleasure mix with own moans as his whole groin area tensed up and Alec convulsed around him as his own contractions crashed over him in a mind-numbing release. Their climax shook them both deeply, starting where they were connected and then shivers took over their whole bodies as they shuddered uncontrollably through waves and waves of their orgasm. They were thoroughly wrecked by the end of it, tired muscles giving in and they collapsed onto the mattress.

Exhausted they drifted off again into a deep dreamless sleep. When they woke up the first light of dawn was already on the horizon. It was only then that Jace noticed that they had somehow knocked over the wooden nightstand. They must have rocked the bed way too hard. Jace could only grin.

 


	5. Live Like A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my beta reader sapphicalexandra! You really help me improve my writing and sentence structure … and find all those little errors!
> 
> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Live Like A Dream" by Thirty Seconds To Mars

When they walked back into the Institute, Alec knew he had a stupid grin plastered across his face and Jace was positively beaming. He didn't even bother to drop the arm he had wrapped around Jace's shoulders and neither did Jace remove the arm he had snaked around his midsection. They had always been close and hiding in plain sight was their best strategy, or so Jace had said anyway, although Alec was wondering if it was just an excuse he had come up with so that he could keep his hands on him in public.

Alec didn't have much time to think about it, as moments after the door had fallen shut behind them, Isabelle was rushing towards them, concern written all over her face.

"Thank goodness you guys are okay!" she exclaimed.

"No need to worry," Jace said. "The 'mission' went rather well. Nobody killed me, though not for a lack of trying," he added, throwing a mischievous side glance at Alec.

But Isabelle was agitated and people were starting to look at them, so Alec suggested, "Let's not talk here. We can go back to my room."

Once they got there and the door was closed, Isabelle said, "I didn't want to ask you guys out there, but looking at you, you did go to the place in New Jersey we organised for you?"

"Yes," Alec said with a big smile, "and we really don't know how to repay you."

"Well, I'm just glad that you are save! I was so worried when I heard," Isabelle said and ran a shaky hand through her hair. She was only slowly calming down.

"Heard what?" Jace asked.

"The earthquakes of course!" Isabelle said.

"Earthquakes?" Alec asked confused.

"Yes, in New Jersey! Magnitude five. Several since yesterday afternoon. We felt them all the way to Manhattan. I can't believe you didn't feel them," Isabelle said. She was worked up, pacing the room. "Reports say some mundanes even saw an explosion."

Alec froze. Something had loudly cracked while they had been at it, it had felt like the world had been shaking. He remembered bright light exploding from their parabatai runes. The heavy nightstand, fallen over.

Jace looked at him with eyes as big as saucers and said, "I think we did feel them." Alec shot him a warning look but Jace continued, "Let me guess, there were two in the afternoon, the second one by far the worst, another one after dark and one more this morning."

"So you did feel them," Isabelle replied.

Alec was just staring at Jace. How does one explain to their sister that the term 'earth-shattering orgasm' had just taken on a whole new meaning?

"Well," Jace started. "Yes and no. Let's just say Alec and I made up. And there are things we didn't know about the parabatai bond.Things got a little … out of control."

"Jace!" Alec warned. He had to look away. Isabelle really didn't need to know all this. It was mortifying.

Isabelle continued to stare at them for another couple of seconds with a blank expression, then the penny dropped and her eyebrows disappeared under her hairline.

"WOW!" was all she said.

***

"We have got to be more careful," Alec said to Jace when they were finally alone again. "Parabatai committing eros have been caught before. We are the only parabatai in New York and I'm sure the Clave knows what signs to look for."

"It could have to do with my angel blood too though," Jace countered, "it might be changing the effects that eros has on our parabatai bond."

"We need to find out what the normal effects are. I will go back to the parabatai book that I found in the archive. With any luck, there will be some information in there. It was the only source I found that didn't outright condemn what we're doing, it could be useful. I'll find something. But for now, we need to keep our hands off each other," Alec said.

"Not going to be easy," Jace sighed.

"No," Alec said, "but it will keep us safe."

"I hate that the Clave puts us in this situation," Jace said and pouted.

"I know, me too," Alec replied. "If we do get caught, the Clave needs to know that we would never go rogue."

"And we don't exactly have the best track records," Jace said. "So no more unsanctioned missions."

"Exactly. But the good news is that I'm your boss. So just make sure you ask nicely next time before you and Clary run off to do stupid things," Alec said.

"Yes, boss," Jace whispered as he leaned in to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

***

The next week Alec, Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon were all sitting at a table at the Hunter's Moon, chatting and drinking beer. It had been three days since Alec had had proper alone time with Jace in that New Jersey hotel and going without was making him grumpier by the hour. It was harder than he had thought to stay away from Jace. A lot harder. Even now he was just hoping nobody noticed how he was looking at Jace across the table.

"We should all go camping," Clary interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Yes!" Simon exclaimed.

"What?" Alec asked stupidly.

"I think it's a great idea!" Isabelle said. "Alec and Jace haven't had a holiday in forever."

"I love camping," Jace said. "Did it a lot when I was little."

"Me too," Simon started. "Mum used to take me and Becky camping every summer. We always went to some national park in New England or the Appalachians. You are not going to believe it but one year we actually …"

"Simon," Clary interrupted him.

"Sorry."

"We should go over the next weekend," Clary said matter of factly. "The weather forecast says we're going to have perfect sunny weather. We can leave Friday and come back Sunday evening. There are a couple of national parks with remote wilderness areas just a few hours from New York."

"I'd be happy to drive!" Simon beamed.

"We can't all go," Alec said. "Somebody needs to look after the Institute. I'm the head now and I just can't go on holiday whenever I please, especially not with a war going on."

"It's not a problem," Isabelle replied. "I'll stay back. I need to meet up with Magnus and some of the other Downworlders anyways. You just give me temporary rights to run the Institute. You have been stressed lately and need to take a break, a few days away won't hurt."

"I don't know," Alec said. "We don't even have tents." He started to get the feeling he was being set up again by his sister and Clary.

"I got that covered," Simon interjected, "We have a couple of tents at my mum's house. They are actually pretty new. Our old ones broke a few summers ago and we have barely used the new ones. Pretty sure we got the rest of the gear as well: sleeping bags, gas cookers, the whole shebang. I think we even have …"

"Alec," Isabelle leaned closer, lowering her voice, "you and Jace need to get out of the city. You are agitated but you can't work that off here." Alec felt heat creep up his cheeks. "You need somebody who can drive you," Isabelle continued unfazed. "Clary and Simon will go with you and nobody will bat an eye."

"She's got a point," Jace said. "It will be good for us."

"You're in on this?" Alec asked.

"I am now," Jace answered. "We need to get away from people for a little so that we can figure out how things work."

Isabelle, who was sitting at the end of the table between them, was starting to look a little too uncomfortable.

"See," Jace said, gesturing at Isabelle, "this is what I mean."

"Simon and Clary will be there," Alec countered, "possibly lots of other people."

"We'll just go off the main trails and into the backcountry, miles away from people," Jace said. "Honestly, if stomping through the woods is the only way I'm going to get some, I'm going to do it."

"Jace!" Isabelle exclaimed.

"Jace and I are coming with you," Alec said to Clary.

***

It was still early when Clary and Simon picked them up at the Institute on Friday morning. As Alec climbed into the van he saw the back crammed with tents, backpacks, sleeping bags and all sorts of other things. At least Simon seemed to know what he was doing.

"So where exactly are we going?" Jace asked as he climbed into the back seat and sat down next to Alec.

"Catskill Park in Upstate New York," Clary replied as she took her seat in the front and closed her door. "Simon went there a couple of times with his family."

"It's a two or three-hour drive from here," Simon explained as he started the engine. "It's still early so with any luck we'll be out of the city before New York rush hour traffic has a chance to eat us alive."

"Simon's been there a few times," Clary said. "Lots of backcountry, all pretty remote. Few people. It's perfect."

"And we've got all the gear we need, food for a couple of days too," Simon continued. "Clary and I looked into some of the trails we can do and for you guys I know a couple of areas where it's pretty easy to go off trail. I don't think you're technically allowed to do that but whatever, I totally support this Brokeback Mountain trip."

Clary elbowed Simon.

"Hey!" he squealed. "Watch out! I'm driving!"

"Brokeback what?" asked Jace.

"Never mind, Jace, Simon was just shutting up," Clary said.

Alec eyed them suspiciously. "You told Simon," he said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Well …" Clary started.

"Clary!" Jace said. "Why did you tell Simon? We talked about this. Too many people already know. This is putting Alec and myself at risk."

"In her defence," Simon said, "Clary didn't tell me, you gave yourselves away at the Hunter's Moon. You keep forgetting that I got vampire hearing. It's your own fault really. I put two and two together. But don't worry, I'm flipping cool with all your rainbow business. Just try not to get any jizz on the sleeping -"

"SIMON!" Clary exclaimed.

"Does anyone else know?" Alec asked. He didn't like this at all.

"No," Clary said.

"Good," Alec replied, "let's keep it that way. This is dangerous business for us, if the Clave finds out, we will be deruned and subsequently ripped apart by demons so let's all try and avoid that scenario."

"Hey," Clary said softly, "we're on your side, okay. It will be fine. We're here to cover for you."

"I know," Jace said. "I guess we're just a bit on edge because the Clave might put two and two together as well."

Alec said, "Last week I found this book in the archive that talks in detail about the parabatai bond and what happens when it is … completed. I went back yesterday morning to do some further reading. Earthquakes are one of the tell-tale signs, there's no way the Clave doesn't know that."

"Let's just hope that no one at the New York Institute knows that and that word doesn't travel to someone who does," Jace said.

***

Once they reached the park, they split their equipment. Jace and Alec packed their backpacks with what they needed for the next two days.

"So you guys are going to be okay, alone in the bush?" Simon asked.

"I'd be more worried about myself if I were you," Jace retorted. Then he let his expression soften, Simon was trying to help them after all. "We'll be fine."

"Just remember you probably won't have cell service out there," Clary said. "We'll meet you at the parking lot again at lunchtime day after tomorrow."

"Clary and I are going to hike some trails in the area," Simon said as he pulled out a map. "If you guys want to go off trail you can start following this path here." He pointed to a trail marked on the map. "It starts just at the end of the parking lot here. After a couple of hours or so you'll get to a small lake, the trail continues along the East shore, but if you turn West instead you get to a large area without trails or campsites. I've been around there before, it's a lightly wooded area so even without a trail you'll be fine. Take the map with you," he said as he handed it to Jace. "I've got an older version with me too that Clary and I can use, plus the trails we are going to do are all marked."

"Thanks," Jace said.

"We'll see you Sunday," Alec said.

"See you guys," said Clary as she gave both of them a quick hug. "Take care!"

And with that Jace and Alec shouldered their backpacks and were off. It was a beautiful summer day, sunny but not too hot. The sky was bright blue and cloudless. Jace was glad to be out in nature, away from the hustle and bustle of New York. The forest smelled earthy, birds were chirping high up in the trees and the forest floor felt soft under his feet, it was as if they had stepped into a different world.

They walked in silence for a while, their bond humming happily between them. Eventually, Alec said, "You know I've been thinking about what I read in that book. When it talks about completing the bond it says that it's 'done in private, away from all others' but maybe it doesn't refer to just the privacy of one's own bedroom. They must have known that new parabatai have little control over their new powers so maybe they were sent away, away from any settlements, where their new powers couldn't harm anyone."

"I just really hope we figure out how to control this," Jace said. "We can't have all of New York shake every time you have your way with me."

"We'll just need to practise as much as we can this weekend," Alec said, face dead serious.

"I fear we won't have time for anything else," Jace replied.

"Unfortunately not," Alec grinned.

And with that Jace grabbed him and pushed him against the big tree, trapping him there and kissing him roughly. In broad daylight. Alec kissed him back with just as much fervour. It was liberating. When Jace pulled back, they were both beaming with happiness. He took Alec's hand and entwined their fingers and they continued to walk, hand in hand, grinning like Cheshire cats.

They continued along the path Simon had shown them on the map until they hit the little lake he had talked about. It was small and almost perfectly round, the blue of the sky along with the green trees reflecting on the water. Going off trail was just as easy as Simon had promised, the trees were sparse and making their way through the forest was a breeze.

They kept walking into the forest for a couple of hours. Eventually, they reached a clearing and Jace pulled out his phone and the map Simon had given him.

"Looks like we're positively in the middle of nowhere," Jace said looking at his phone with its GPS and the map. "There are no trails nearby."

"Looks like a good place to set up camp," Alec said.

Jace agreed and pulled a picnic blanket out of his backpack while Alec got the camping gas stove. With the help of his phone and the map Jace found a small river nearby to get water. Simon had given them some chlorine dioxide drops so they could purify the water and make it drinkable. When Jace got back with the water, Alec had figured out how to use the gas stove and in no time they were preparing lunch.

***

Alec and Jace were lying on their picnic blanket, enjoying the warm afternoon sun that shone through the trees.

"From what I read the increase in power is enough to rattle the ground every time we … we have sex, until we learn to control and internalise the energy," Alec said.

"So how do we do that?" Jace asked as he smiled at Alec, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"I think we just need to get a feel for it, learn how to rein it in," Alec replied.

"Since we only have this one weekend I really think we need to start working on figuring this out," Jace said, his hand starting to wander under Alec's shirt. "Good thing we have stamina runes."

Alec just smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. It was slow and gentle, it made him feel warm. When they broke apart, Jace was already pulling at Alec's shirt, eager to get it off. Next were his pants, Jace seeming all too eager to get him undressed. Alec let himself be pushed back down on the blanket by Jace.

"It doesn't seem  fair that you still have all your clothes on," Alec remarked.

"Then help me out," Jace smirked. He took off his own shirt while Alec opened his belt and fly. He pulled down Jace's pants and Jace kicked them off completely, then got on top of Alec. It was a relief to be skin on skin again. Alec ran a hand through Jace's hair, then pulled him down again into a rough kiss. Jace responded fiercely. But then Jace started moving down his body. He gasped when he felt Jace's lips on his chest and moaned when Jace's hands twisted his nipples.

"I've been wanting to do this all week," Jace whispered as he kissed Alec's stomach. He looked up at him. At the sight of Jace between his legs, Alec felt something inside his stomach tighten. This was way too good and he lost himself in the moment when Jace went down further. He found it nothing short of exhilarating, their hearts were racing. Jace went lower again and Alec should have seen it coming through their bond but the act in itself took him by surprise and he shuddered when he felt Jace's tongue on his testicles. He wasn't prepared for this.

The now familiar rush of energy was back, running through their bodies as Jace began to gently lick him down there and Alec was lost, barely able to keep himself from screaming.

"Jace …," he groaned.

Jace took it as an invitation, because the next thing Alec felt was Jace carefully taking first one of his balls, then the other into his mouth. It was wet and warm and too good in too many ways. Alec’s breath went ragged as he struggled to control himself, and Jace gently released his balls.

"I know you like this, Alec," Jace softly said, "but you need to keep it together, we need to try and not shake up any mundanes today. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," Alec breathed, although he wasn't really sure if he would be able to. For a moment he forced himself to focus on that surge of power inside of him. He visualised it as white energy and almost thought he could grab it with his hands, control it, but then he felt Jace's tongue slid over his perineum and he lost any grip that he might have had. Having Jace's hot, wet tongue down there felt nothing short of amazing. It wasn't at his entrance but it was close enough and he let himself get lost in the touch of Jace's tongue. So he didn't think when Jace pulled away and said, "Get on your hands and knees for me, babe." He just did as he was told. Jace wasn't going to do what he was thinking about, Jace would never …

Alec couldn't suppress a low groan when he felt Jace's flat tongue glide over his entrance.

"Fuck, Jace."

So he was doing it after all. Alec was in absolute shock, it felt so wrong and so right all at the same time. Jace spread his cheeks further, then blew on his now wet hole. Alec was left panting, pathetic little sounds escaping him. Jace let his tongue circle his hole, flick at it and Alec's hands curled into fists as he tried to stay in control. He wasn't very successful at it. It only got worse when Jace's tongue pushed into him. For a second he saw stars, it was way too much. And then Jace started fucking him with his tongue. Alec gasped loudly.

He felt incredibly vulnerable, naked in a whole new way. Jace kept going, pushing his tongue in and out of him in a steady rhythm. Alec involuntarily clenched around Jace's tongue, he would have felt ashamed of his body's reaction but Jace just held him gently, one hand cupping the parabatai rune on his hip. It was the most erotic moment of his life. He couldn't begin to understand the things Jace did to pleasure him, but Jace's own arousal was pumping through the bond. Alec let his head drop, his arms and legs shook as Jace continued. There were no words to describe how good Jace made him feel, it made him want to come. Badly.

Jace stopped and pulled away, and against Alec's will, a desperate whimper escaped him.

"Turn around and lie on your back," Jace said softly.

Alec did. "You are such as tease," he whispered, but there was no bite in his voice, only desperation.

Jace kissed his inner thigh. "This is about control. Not me controlling you, but you controlling the energy. And I'm here to help you." Jace kissed his inner thigh again, this time closer to his crotch.

Alec let his head fall back again, let himself feel the energy flow through him. It was inside of him and at the same time around him like an aura. Jace kept kissing his skin and Alec concentrated as much as possible on the pulsing flow of power. With a deep breath, he forced his body to suck it inside, from his head to his toes. Then it was wildly coursing inside of him, making him feel stronger yet again.

Jace's wet tongue was on him again, first on his testicles but then he was trailing it up the length of Alec's shaft. It wiped all other thoughts from his mind. Jace swirled his tongue around and across the head of his cock, lapped a drop of pre-cum that welled up, dipped the tip of his tongue into the slit. Alec arched his back in pleasure.

"You're incredible," he gasped.

Before he knew what was happening, Jace had taken him deep into his mouth with a sigh. Angel, they wanted this so much. With Jace's mouth wrapped tightly around him, he felt new waves of love and want wash through them, it made him blind to everything else but Jace and himself in his mouth. Jace moved his head up only to slide back down again, his tongue pressed to the underside of Alec's cock. He did it again, and this time Alec's cock hit the back of his throat. Jace had swallowed him whole.

Alec cursed as Jace started to pick up an agonisingly slow rhythm. Alec hit the back of Jace's throat every single time, it made him desperate to rock his hips up but strong arms held him down, he was trapped in the silky wet heat of Jace's mouth. It was so much and not enough.

"Please, Jace," he begged. "Please."

Jace looked up, looked him in the eye. And touched Alec's balls, feather-lightly. Alec squirmed. It was too much.

"Please, I need more," Alec pleaded. "I need you."

Jace was making this so good for him and he reached down, tangling his fingers in blond hair, then grabbing it in a fist. Jace moans around him, sending vibrations through him. Too much. The urge to push Jace's head down became overwhelming but he resisted.

"Please," he begged again. "I'll control it, I promise."

Jace rapidly moved his head up and down a couple of times but then pulled off of him completely. Alec bit down hard on his lip in frustration.

"I'm going to make us come now," Jace said.

Us. Of course.

"Let's do this the rough way," Jace said, "push me down as much as you want to, I can take it, I want to. I'll need it. Because I'm not going to touch myself. For me, it's all going to be through you."

Alec swallowed. Panted. He wanted Jace so badly, wanted this to be good for both of them. He just nodded.

With that Jace was onto him again, the delicious pressure of his tongue on Alec's cock. He wasn't holding down Alec's hips anymore and Alec began to fuck his mouth, his hands came to rest on Jace's head, guiding him. Jace was working him hard, his pace relentless and Alec knew they were on the edge of release, needed to come. He found it increasingly hard to focus on anything else, but he did his best to restrain the energy, keep it inside.

Jace's mouth felt too good, hot and wet and eagerly taking him in. He couldn't hold himself back anymore and pushed Jace's head down on him hard. He felt him gag on him, the sensation of it pushing them over the edge. With a scream, he came deep down Jace's throat. Their orgasms so far had felt like explosions, but this was an implosion, it ripped them apart from the inside, stronger than ever before. It was echoing through their bodies with unbearable intensity. Jace stayed in place, taking him in, swallowing until the very end.

They were both shaking when Alec went limp and Jace released him. Jace crawled up to him and Alec wrapped him in his arms, held him close. All he felt was love and affection and the need to hold Jace close. He kissed his forehead and then his lips and Jace deepened the kiss and let him taste himself on his tongue.

The trees were rustling in the wind a little louder than before, but Alec was sure they had done better than last time. They stayed quiet like that for a while, lying together, arms wrapped around each other.

"How about we don't pitch our tent and sleep under the stars tonight?" Jace suggested after while.

"I'd like that," Alec said.

***

Jace woke up with a serious hard-on. He kept his eyes closed and for a moment he was disoriented. Where was he? He was spooning a warm body - certainly the reason behind his morning wood - and the bond told him it was Alec, of course. The thought only made him press closer, inhale Alec's scent where his neck was brushing against Jace's face. His left arm was draped over Alec's waist and that in itself made him ridiculously happy. Alec was still half asleep. It was nice to feel such a hard, muscular body in his arms, different from all the women he used to date. Different in the best way.

Jace was proud of how quickly they had become better at controlling the power their completed bond gave them, now that they were aware of it. The other good news was that the need to control it hadn't affected the pleasure they experienced during sex, if anything it had made it even better, the force of the energy now shaking them instead of the world. Jace thought of the amazing sex they had had the night before. First, he had topped Alec, all sweet and gentle, then Alec had taken him from behind, with a vengeance. It had been glorious.

Falling asleep with Alec in his arms afterwards had been nothing but beautiful. They had zipped their sleeping bags together and snuggled up close. As kids, they had used to sleep in the same bed a lot. It had started one night when Alec had heard him sobbing in bed, pained and scared, and had come in to lie down next to him and hold him. The same thing had happened again the following night and soon it had become a habit. Before long sleeping next to Alec had become Jace's only sure-fire way to keep the nightmares away that plagued him after his so-called father's so-called death.

Jace had always been taught to be tough, to never show weakness and it had made him act all cocky and confident on the outside, no matter how he really felt. But with Alec it was okay to be vulnerable, okay to even cry. Alec had always simply wrapped his arms around him and that in itself had made everything better. But eventually, Alec had stopped coming over at night, probably when he had developed romantic feelings for Jace. Sexual feelings.

Jace had missed sleeping next to Alec as a teenager and even now in his adult years, he had sometimes longed for the old closeness an he was incredibly thankful that he now was able to have this once again, at least from time to time.

Nevertheless, Jace still had a fairly big problem and he was sure to make Alec aware of it with a roll of his hips. Alec hummed sleepily but Jace heard the smile in it and rocked his hips again. Slowly Alec rolled over to face him and he wrapped him tightly in his arms and kissed him.

"Someone gets up early," Alec muttered against his lips.

"It's your fault," Jace replied with a sly smile. "So why don't you help me fix it?"

The only response he got was another kiss and a hand gently cupping the bulge in his boxers. Just what he had hoped for.

It was tight in the zipped up sleeping bags and so Jace fumbled around with one hand to open the zipper and give them space. He finally succeeded and Alec helped him open it all the way down, then Alec was on top of him.

"What am I going to do with you this early?" Alec whispered sleepily against his ear.

"Whatever you want," Jace replied and pulled him in for a demanding kiss.

Soon Alec's exploring hands had Jace's shirt hiked up to his chest. Jace lifted his upper body and pulled at his shirt until he got it off of himself while Alec helped him take off his boxers. , Jace gently rubbed him through his clothes before pulling his shirt over his head and his boxers down. Jace loved undressing Alec. He eagerly pulled Alec back down on top of him and they were finally skin to skin again and with a grin, Jace started grinding up against Alec.

Alec let him for a moment, then pulled back. He let his hands run over Jace's torso, twisting his nipples and it caused Jace to arch his back and moan. From there Alec's hands went further down his body, over his abs, his hips and down to his thighs. But there Alec stopped and grabbed the lube that was still lying on the grass where they had left it the night before. Jace intently watched Alec cover his fingers in lube. He loved being prepared by Alec for a good fuck and he moaned as he felt a finger circling his hole. He was so ready for this. Alec kept teasing his entrance for another moment before he slowly pushed a single finger into him. Jace found his muscles squeezing Alec's finger involuntarily. Alec moved it in and out a couple of times. It felt good, but Jace needed more and pushed back on his finger. Alec wasn't having any of it, pulling his finger almost entirely out before sliding it in again. It never went deep enough to touch Jace where he needed it the most and he was sure Alec was doing it on purpose.

"You're mad because I didn't let you sleep," Jace said, trying hard to suppress a frustrated noise threatening to escape him as Alec again pulled his finger back too early.

"No," Alec replied, "but I do think I need to teach you a lesson."

It made Jace feel a warmth spreading in his lower stomach, he was very eager to be taught a lesson, thank you very much. He was already leaking pre-cum and his cock twitched in anticipation. Then two fingers rubbed against his entrance, his breathing quickened and he couldn't wait for Alec's fingers to push inside him, but they were only circling his entrance, sliding over it, it made him twitch down there too, way too keen to be fingered. But then all Alec did was trace a single finger up Jace's sensitive cock, from the base to the top, making him shiver.

"Please Alec," he begged, "stop being such a tease."   

"Patience," Alec said and with a smile he slid his hand back down and pushed two fingers inside. Jace's hot, throbbing walls were all too keenly closing in on them. Alec moved his fingers in and out a few times and Jace was close to begging for it when he finally felt Alec's fingers move deeper again, felt them curl and finally, finally they probed his prostate. He moaned with relief at the sensation, finally getting some gentle pressure against his most sensitive spot. He wanted Alec to move, to rub him there, make him feel good but all he did was to gently press down on it. The pressure continued for a moment and then with a surprised gasp Jace felt the warmth in his lower stomach turn into burning heat that kept building and building. He knew then that Alec wasn't going to fuck him, he was doing something else entirely and Jace let himself melt into the delicious pressure. He felt pleasantly full and warm and Alec kept his fingers still, simply applying pressure and just the feeling of that was enough to draw some mild, involuntary contractions from Jace.

Jace looked up at Alec and the view of his toned, slightly sweaty body and the smug smile on his face was nearly enough to push him over the edge. Alec looked worked up as well, surely feeling the intense pressure that was building inside of him too. The now familiar energy was running through their bond and they were nothing but embracing it.

Alec put his other hand on Jace's lower stomach, just gently pushing down and Jace revelled in the sensation as it let Alec be further in control of him, it made him feel safe.

"I want you to contract your muscles around my fingers," Alec told him. "Hold it for a couple of seconds and then release."

Jace did and as he pulled his inner muscles tight he felt how he pulled Alec's fingers in deeper, pushing them against his prostate, the sensation sending a pleasant shock through him. As soon as his muscles let go he tensed them up again, feeling that obscenely pleasurable push against his prostate. It hit him in all the right ways and he started to fuck himself against Alec's fingers with his own contractions. There were no words for how good it made him feel.

Jace wanted to touch himself but knew Alec wouldn't let him, so he just kept on contracting his muscles. It was fucking heaven. He was panting heavily now, his chest moving up and down as pre-cum welled up at his slit and he caught Alec looking at the bead that formed, licking his lips. It was such a turn on. The tension around the area surrounding his prostate increased, then his insides started to contract involuntarily again, stronger this time.

It stopped eventually and Jace relaxed. He didn't contract his muscles at will anymore, waiting for the convulsions to simply overcome him. It was so intimate to be touched there, long fingers deep inside him, causing his body to react in ways he had never experienced. It didn't take long before his pelvic area started to actually tremble at the sensation of Alec's fingers pressed against him. Jace couldn't believe that something as simple as solid, steady pressure could make him feel so good, Alec wasn't even moving his fingers.

"You like that, babe?" Alec asked him.

"Fuck yeah," Jace breathed.

"You want to come like this?"

Jace nodded. He would have never thought it possible, but the building tension around his prostate was telling him otherwise.

"Come for me," Alec whispered.

And Alec's wish was his command. Their orgasm hit them hard, leaving Jace barely able to contain the energy that was threatening to explode all around them, his inner walls were contracting out of control and he came without ejaculating, simply spilling beads of hot pre-cum, moaning and whimpering as Alec's fingers kept pressing down on his prostate. His hips jerked and then Alec's fingers gently circled his sweet spot deep inside of him.

It was intense, Jace was so sensitive down there. The problem was that Alec started to nudge his prostate and he didn't stop, not for a second. His orgasm ebbed away but not the tension inside of him, not the need to come. He had never before experienced an orgasm that had left him needing more straight away.

"Was that a good first orgasm?" Alec asked softly and Jace's breath hitched and he continued, "Just keep them coming for me."

Jace's eye widened as Alec started to really rub the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him, his other hand still on his stomach, holding him down with gentle pressure. It made Jace throb and twitch around the fingers inside of him and his body shuddered helplessly. A second orgasm hit them. Jace cried out and squirmed as Alec's skilled fingers kept stroking his prostate through it, prolonging the convulsions as much as possible.

"Fuck, Alec," he panted as he slowly started to come down from his high. Alec continued to incessantly prod and stroke his swollen prostate. "Please stop," Jace said, not really meaning it, feeling every single little movement that Alec's fingers made inside of him. Alec looked wrecked himself, Jace's orgasms having made him come twice too. Wet hair stuck to his forehead, he was breathing hard and his hard untouched cock was dripping pre-cum. He was gorgeous.

"You don’t mean that," Alec said calmly.

"Please, n-no … I … I can't," Jace breathed, panting heavily through Alec's continued ministrations.

"One more," Alec said softly as he continued to rub sweet circles over Jace's prostate. "It’ll be the last one."

"Just one more," Jace panted.

Jace's hands clenched into fists as Alec continued to take him apart, his head rolled from side to side and his hips restlessly jerked into empty space, his cock craving friction that he knew he wasn't going to get.

"Don't worry, I'm wrecking myself just as much as you," Alec said, sweaty and out of breath.

As Alec started to rub his prostate harder and faster, Jace squeezed his eyes shut and his body convulsed for the third time with orgasmic contractions so deep and hard it left him blind and deaf for a moment. He kept clenching and unclenching around the fingers buried deep inside his abused hole. And Alec didn't fucking stop.  

"Please Alec," he begged. "It's enough, really."

"Babe," Alec said, "you’re so beautiful like this, I want you to come one last time."

"Y-You pr-promised me … th-that it … would be the last … o-one," he cried through Alec's hard and fast thrusts against his hyper-sensitive prostate. It was too much, Alec could not be serious. And yet there was a part of him that wanted more, wanted Alec to utterly destroy him and of course, Alec knew it.

"I lied," Alec said calmly, sweat dripping off his forehead. "You still haven't ejaculated, I'll need one more from you."

"I … I can't … take it … anymore," Jace keened.

"Yes you can," Alec said, gently pressing his hand down again on Jace's stomach causing new heat to spread through his groin. "Just one more, I promise it's the last one. I promise it will make you feel so, so good."

Jace wanted to cry. Because it was more than he could take. Because Alec's fingers were relentlessly pushing harder and harder at the most sensitive spot in his entire body. Because it was painful and ecstatic at the same time. Because he was going to be forced to orgasm again. Because Alec owned him and there was nothing in the world Jace wanted more.

"I fucking love you," he sobbed.

That's when Alec bent down to lick up the pre-cum spilling from his painfully neglected cock. Jace felt himself throb against Alec's wet tongue. Alec licked his cock a few times, from the base to the head while never stopping the continued strokes on Jace's prostate. Alec kissed the head of Jace's cock and licked the corona before lapping new beads of pre-cum at the slit. Then Alec took him in his mouth.

Jace had received blow jobs before but there was nothing that could ever compare to the tight, wet, hot world of Alec’s mouth around him and the rhythmic thrust inside of him. The shocks it sent through him felt unbearably good. Everything inside of him tensed up, his balls drew closer to his body. Then rapid convulsions made him cry out and he shook uncontrollably as a devastating orgasm made him ejaculate down Alec's throat.

The climax radiated through his entire body, it travelled up to his chest and his heart where he felt his love for Alec spilling over unstoppably, it shot up through his spine and into his brain causing ecstatic tingly sensations to run down his body. It robbed him of all his thoughts.

Alec was coming too, of course, and the pleasure was bouncing back and forth between them, prolonging it beyond what Jace thought possible. The contractions continued to come in waves and Alec kept swallowing hard, barely keeping up with the loads of cum shooting into his mouth. Alec's mouth tightened around him again and again along with the continued thrusts against Jace's prostate milked him until he had nothing left to give.

But even then the contractions didn't stop, they were spurred on by Alec's mouth tightly wrapped around his cock and his fingers that never stopped massaging that pulsing spot inside of him. Wave after wave consumed him and he was lost in rapture, drowning himself in everything Alec gave him. It took minutes before his contractions slowly started to subside and Alec made sure to stroke him through it to the very last one.

He was so dead afterwards that he only noticed that Alec had crawled back up to him when strong arms wrapped themselves around him and soft lips were pressed to his forehead. This time Jace really cried, because he felt loved, because he loved Alec. Because Alec had taken him apart and put him back together. Because it had been beautiful and painful and glorious all the same time. He was shuddering in Alec's arms when Alec ran a hand through his hair and down his back, soothing him.

"I love you too," Alec whispered, holding him tighter. "I'm yours."


	6. Irresistible Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double extra special thanks to sapphicalexandra for beta reading yet another chapter. You are my hero!
> 
> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Irresistible Force" by The Bee Gees

Coming back to New York on Sunday night tossed Alec straight back into reality. Isabelle had taken care of the Institute in his absence and there had been no major incidents. Nevertheless, when he walked into his office, there was work piling up on his desk, reports to go through and missions to be approved.

And the depressing thing was that even once he would finish with the most urgent matters and could retire to his room, there was no falling asleep in Jace's arms. Security cameras were everywhere, including the hallways of the residential wing, so if he snuck into Jace's bedroom at night it would be caught on camera. Of course, as the head of the Institute, he could delete the security footage, but if anyone looked at the footage they would notice that some was missing and if there ever was an incident then he would have to choose between revealing himself and Jace and putting the Institute at risk. No, he vowed to himself, spending the night with Jace was not an option. Not regularly anyways. During quiet times it might be possible, every once in a blue moon, to 'accidentally' switch off the camera that was pointing down their hallway or to delete the footage. But that was not a risk he could take while they were in the middle of a war. Alec sighed as he sat down at his desk and started to look through the backlog of files.

As he was flipping through reports he found it hard to concentrate as his thoughts kept drifting back to the weekend away he had just spent with Jace. He had lost count of how many time he had come during that one weekend, but it had to be some kind of personal record. He and Jace had been at it so much that they had been completely exhausted by the time they got back to the van. Once in there they had fallen asleep on top of each other and basically slept all the way back to New York. But the good news was that Clary and Simon had confirmed that there had been only some light shaking on Friday afternoon and then no more earthquakes after that, something that he and Jace had worked on very hard over the weekend.

Alec was still completely stunned by the fact that he and Jace were now … what exactly? Boyfriends? No, the word didn't feel quite right. Jace wasn't his boyfriend and he wasn't his partner either. He was his parabatai, in the way that he had always been meant to be. His parabatai. So much more than a boyfriend, even a husband, could ever be. Their souls were tied together for the rest of their lives and hopefully beyond.

He could barely believe that they were in love, that Jace was in love with him. It was a dream that Alec had given up on in his teenage years, a dream that he had put aside for good when Jace had asked him to become his parabatai. In hindsight, it seemed nothing but ironic. He had never thought that Jace would ever return his feelings, yet here they were. It filled him with a happiness that he found hard to contain.

He somehow would have to keep himself from running around the Institute with a slap-happy grin splitting his face, especially not two weeks after his split with Magnus. Especially not with his grumpy reputation. He would have to fill his thoughts with pictures of dead puppies during his waking hours if he wanted to stay under the radar. He was a love-stricken fool and he knew it.

***

They got into a habit of circling each other like two cats. The physical pull that Alec felt towards Jace was incredibly strong and they were closer than ever, in every sense of the word. They constantly brushed against each other whenever they were in the same room, almost unwittingly at times, it seemed just so natural.

In meetings they sat next to each other, knees touching under the table, making it hard to focus on anything but the spot where they were touching. When they got food in the kitchen they would lightly brush against into each other when reaching over to grab things.

But the one thing they hadn't gotten around to since the completion of their bond was sparring with each other. Alec was more than curious to see how their bond would affect it now. They had agreed to meet in the courtyard late in the evening when most of the Institute was fast asleep and they were alone.

They started with their Seraph blades in hand, Alec taking a big step towards Jace, sword held high and ready to strike. Jace blocked him of course, familiar with the move after years of training together. He swung his blade again and Jace anticipated the move just the same, blocking it easily. He went for a high blow, then a low one but naturally Jace saw it all coming. Then Jace started to attack, driving him back a few steps but Alec still parried all of his strikes with ease.

But it was not only his long years of sparring with Jace that made his moves predictable, it was also their bond. When Jace spun around Alec saw the move coming before Jace had even moved a muscle. He knew the how, when and where of Jace's attacks, which made his surprise all the greater when Jace nearly missed one of his and almost got struck in the chest by Alec's incoming blade. Jace blocked at the last moment.

"Concentrate Jace," Alec said, "you should have seen that coming."

"I'm a little distracted," Jace replied, his eyes roaming over Alec's body.

"Be a little less obvious," Alec said as he stepped forward again.

Then he jumped and his Seraph blade came straight down on Jace who blocked it while quickly stepping to the side. Alec turned and they were standing very close, swords held low and Alec felt the heat radiating off of Jace's body.

That's when Jace moved forward and twisted Alec's sword arm. Alec dropped his blade and at once had Jace's to his throat.

"You should concentrate," Jace smirked. Alec could feel Jace's breath on his skin, making it prickle. If Jace's blade wouldn't still be at his throat he would have found it hard to resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him.

Jace took a step back and tossed his blade aside. Alec knew that this meant. The blood in his veins was buzzing with anticipation. Security cameras, he reminded himself. This was a bad idea.

But before he could say anything Jace tackled him and he was pushed to the floor, Jace on top of him. He twisted and rolled them over, pinned Jace to the floor and gasped when he felt a thigh between his legs. He was half-hard already and of course, Jace knew it.

Jace twisted, using the leg he had between Alec's thighs as leverage and broke out of Alec's hold, flipping them over. His thigh remained firmly between Alec's legs and that was his mistake because Alec twisted to the side, easily getting out of Jace's hold. But he wasn't fast enough and Jace grabbed him and was on top of him again in no time. He pinned Alec's wrists to the floor and pushed his hips down. A moan escaped Alec at the friction. This time Jace was smarter and hooked his legs under Alec's legs, immobilising him. Alec felt Jace's full body weight resting on him. It made it impossible to move.

It was as dangerous as it was arousing and it left Alec wanting more. But he knew full well that he couldn't have more.

"Don't do this," Alec hissed.

"How can I not do this?" Jace asked. "It's been days." He rolled his hips, causing both of them to groan.

"Don't!" Alec warned.

"Yes," Jace said.

All Alec wanted to do was give in, to grind against Jace who was so tightly pressed against him. Being this close to Jace had turned him on. A lot. He was getting painfully hard. It was late in the evening. He knew it wouldn't take long, nobody would see them, he could delete the security footage later.

"No!" Alec said, face fierce.

Jace got off of him, hurt written all over his face. Alec got up and lent him a hand to help him up that he reluctantly took. Alec used the momentum of pulling him up to draw him close. He moved in, put a hand on Jace’s back and whispered in his ear, "My room. We take five minutes, not more."

He pulled away and as he turned to walk back inside, in the corner of his eye he caught Jace's smirk.

***

Valentine was on the loose in New York and Alec had to call an emergency meeting with the Downworld. Sebastian, the Institute's new head of security had turned out to be Valentine's demon-blooded son and now the Institute really needed assistance tracking them down.

Alec, Isabelle and Clary walked into the conference room and were caught by surprise. The Seelie Queen herself had shown up. Raphael had brought Simon along, he was present now at every meeting, due to his special status as a daylighter. It captured the attention of vampires and Seelies alike.

Alec had been apprehensive of the meeting. Having Seelies who cannot lie in the Institute after what they had witnessed first hand at their court was dangerous. The presence of the Seelie Queen made him even more uncomfortable and he prayed to the Angel that she wouldn't say anything, there was no need for Raphael and Luke to find out about his crime.

But all his hope vanished when the Seelie Queen asked, "Oh well, where is Jace?"

Alec was just glad that the only other Shadowhunters present were Isabelle and Clary.

"Your Highness," he responded. "What a surprise to see you here in person."

"The Institute called an emergency meeting of the Downworld Council and I speak on behalf of the Downworld," the queen replied.

"Magnus, is this true?" Isabelle asked.

Alec saw how Magnus gave her a small nod before he returned his attention to the Seelie Queen.

"Henceforth, when you need anything from the Downworld, you shall address me, Mr Lightwood," the queen continued. "Such is the nature of our new agreement."

"Your Highness," Alec said, "Valentine believes the Institute has the mortal mirror and he's not going to leave the city without it. I would like the Downworld's help in locating him."

"In order to capture him so that he might escape once again?" the Seelie Queen laughed.

"In order to execute him so this threat may finally end," Alec told her.

"Why should we believe you?" she asked.

He sighed. "I understand why you might doubt my intentions after what happened with the soul sword. And for that, I am sorry. But I founded this council to make things more transparent between the Downworld and the Clave."

"And how has that been going?"

"It's been a bit of a work in progress," he admitted.

"For far too long," the queen said, "the Downworld has depended on the Clave and your Institute to protect us from men like Valentine. It's time we learnt our lesson and started fighting for ourselves."

"We can't do this alone. Valentine is a threat to all of us," Alec said.

"The answer is no," the queen replied.

The queen left, the other Downworlders following her quietly. Only Simon stayed, he probably wanted to talk to Clary. He walked towards them, but then Alec saw how something caught Simon's attention and he followed Simon's gaze up to one of the several security cameras in the room.

  
Alec heard Simon mutter, "Big brother is watching you." But a moment later Simon seemed to have forgotten all about it as he walked over to Clary with a big smile and pulled her into a kiss.

***

The Downworlder cabinet meeting really hadn't gone well and Alec kept thinking about it all day. He was in the ops centre with Jace and Clary discussing how to find Valentine and Sebastian when his phone rang. Alec glanced at the screen, it was Isabelle calling. He picked up and put the phone on speaker.

"Hey Izzy," he said, "you're on speaker."

"Hey, I'm at Magnus's apartment," Isabelle replied. "I talked to him about that Downworlder meeting gone pear-shaped. Luke was here too, he said they ran down some circle members, but lost Valentine and Sebastian. The good news is he won't get very far. By the order of the Seelie Queen, Magnus and other warlocks have put up wards all around the city. No portals or travel, in or out, for anyone with Nephilim blood. If any of us cross that threshold, we get vaporised, so be careful. Luke promised they will continue the hunt on their end."

"Thanks, Izzy. I'm glad you're trying to smooth out Downworlder relations. You're coming back soon?" Alec asked.

"No problem. I'll portal back to the Institute in a few," Isabelle said.  

With that, she hung up.

  
That's when Underhill came over and handed Alec a piece of paper.

"Make an announcement," Alec told him without looking at the note he had been handed, "Shadowhunter movement into and out of the city stops immediately. That's an order." Underhill nodded and proceeded.

Then Alec looked at what Underhill had just handed him. It was a message from Alicante. Alec skimmed through it.

"Guess who just tried to portal to Idris?" he told Jace and Clary. "Valentine must know that we don't have the mortal mirror. I probably figured out that the real one is Lake Lyn."

The whole situation was dangerous. If Valentine succeeded in raising the Angel he would destroy the Downworld. Alec was concerned, his whole body tensed up.

"Look," Jace said, putting a calming hand on his shoulder, "let's stay focused on what we can control, not what we can't. We will figure this out."

"So we're stuck inside the city along with them now, but have no way of finding them," Alec said.

"There might be a way," Clary interjected and they both turned to look at her. She whispered when she continued, "I know Valentine and Sebastian have got to be using their blocking runes. But parabatai tracking is stronger than regular Shadowhunter tracking. What if the two of you with your new powers are able to track them down?"

"We don't have anything to track them with," Alec said.

"You have me," Clary said, "I'm Sebastian's sister. Even if he has demon blood I still share a lot of DNA with him. If your tracking power is stronger now there's a chance it will work."

Jace shrugged. "It's worth a shot."

Clary pulled out her dagger and cut off a lock of hair. "Use this," she said and handed it to Jace.

"But not here," Alec said.

"The rooftop," Jace said. "No one ever comes up there."

"Go and get our weapons," Alec told Clary. "Wait for Izzy, then meet us up on the roof. If tracking them works you can portal the four of us to wherever they are. And we'll deal with them."

Clary nodded.

They left the ops centre, Alec and Jace taking the stair to the roof while Clary went to the weapons room.

When Alec and Jace stepped onto the rooftop the sun was already setting, painting everything in golden light. As they walked up to the balustrade they glamoured themselves so that mundanes wouldn't see them up there. The sunset view over New York was beautiful, skyscrapers glistening in the warm light.

"So, let's try this," Jace said, as he looked at Alec and activated his bridge rune at will.

Once Jace's own rune was glowing Alec held out his hand and let Jace activate his bridge rune too with his stele. Then they took Clary's lock of hair in between their hands.

Parabatai tracking had always felt intimate, it was a quiet moment of looking deeply into each other's eyes, of combining their minds. It felt so private every time and Alec had always hated it when other people watched them do it. But this was their first time tracking since the completion of their bond. It was different, staring into Jace's blue eyes took on another dimension. Warm, glowing energy wrapped itself around their hands. Alec felt like he could drown in Jace's eyes.

But tracking Sebastian through Clary's hair wasn't easy. Images of Clary in the weapons room kept coming up, it was unusually easy to pinpoint her location even though that wasn't what they were trying to do. They tried for another minute, getting nothing, and Alec was ready to give up.

Jace must have felt it because that's when he leaned in to kiss him. The sensation of Jace's lips against his own paralysed him for a moment. They shouldn't be doing this, not here, on top of the Institute. Somebody might see them, somebody might walk in on them.

But then the now familiar rush of energy and power came, as it always did when he as much as kissed Jace. Suddenly all their runes lighted up. It warmed them and Alec could see their golden glow with his eyes closed.

His lips parted and he started to kiss Jace back. Their hearts were beating faster, whether with fear of being discovered or with excitement, he didn't know. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the sudden warmth spreading through them, soon turning into a red heat. It was like there were sparks flying between them. There probably were, but Alec couldn't think about that, not when Jace's soft lips were pleasantly burning against his own, their joined hands on fire. There was a great power coursing through them, it felt divine and that's when they started to see flashes.

A cemetery. A funeral party. Sebastian standing among the headstones. A crypt. A church. The visions zoomed out and suddenly they knew the location, they had found Sebastian. This would normally be it but Jace tasted too good, felt too good and Alec found himself unable to withdraw. Their lips kept moving gently against each other until Alec heard someone clear their throat.

He jumped away from Jace as if burned, Clary's lock of hair falling to the ground. His head spun around and then his tense posture went lax with relief. It was only Isabelle, followed by Clary. The glow of their runes subsided as quickly as it had come. Clary took a second longer to close her mouth again.

"We found them," Jace said. "They are at Evergreens Cemetery in Brooklyn."

Clary and Isabelle handed them their weapons - a Seraph blade each, bow and quiver for Alec, an axe for Jace.

"Let's go," Clary said and proceeded to draw the portal rune into the air. It glowed warm like the setting sun and Clary pushed it out to create the portal. They stepped through it and the portal spit them out on the other side.

"Why would they hide in a cemetery?" Clary wondered, looking at the graves.

"They probably raided an old weapons cache," Isabelle guessed.

Alec took a look around. There was blood splashed against a headstone, personal items lying around.

"Something has happened here," Jace said.

"I think they are still here," Alec said.

"Another demon trap," Isabelle said.

"And we walked right into it," Jace agreed.

Alec scanned the area. There was a crypt to their left and a church in the opposite direction, Valentine and Sebastian were probably hiding in one of those two buildings.

"Let's split up, teams of two," he said. "Isabelle, Clary, you check out the crypt, Jace and I take the church."

There was no way on earth he would leave Jace out of sight right now, he felt highly protective of him. This would be their first battle since they had consummated their bond. Alec didn't even want to think about the last time when Valentine had gotten his hands on Jace, how much he had suffered on the Morning Star. Just thinking of it made Alec's heart ache. He'd be damned if he let that man anywhere near his parabatai again.

Clary and Isabelle took off, heading towards the crypt.

Alec and Jace went towards the church. Discovering their increased tracking skills had been an interesting development, Alec thought, it would surely keep coming in handy in the future.

"I was starting to wonder what kind of powers our bond would let us develop," Alec said out loud as they approached the church.

"You mean other than mind-blowing sex," Jace said and Alec couldn't suppress a broad grin.

A moment later they stepped into the church. The lights were on but there was no one to be seen. They circled the benches but found nothing, the place was deserted. Then Alec discovered a staircase leading downwards and he indicated Jace to follow him downstairs.

The wooden stairs creaked under their steps as they descended. They walked into the basement but it seemed mostly empty except for some coffins and a pile of wood stacked against the wall. Then they heard a low noise. They looked around, standing back to back, Seraph blades drawn, ready for battle. Alec was hyper-aware of Jace, his exact position, how he moved, what he sensed and he knew Jace was just as aware of him. They were one.

There was another noise, a growl, it came from behind one of the doors. They positioned themselves, ready to fight. The door flung open and Alec spotted two forsaken. But Jace was faster. He threw his axe. It hit one of the forsaken right in the forehead, but the next just pushed the body away. It attacked Jace. Alec didn't even have time to help him, because in that exact moment another one came rushing down the stairs. It launched itself onto Alec. He kicked it in the chest. It grunted and staggered. When it tumbled forward, Alec jabbed his blade through its chest. He saw Jace stab the other one through the stomach. Another forsaken burst through the wooden partition wall right behind Alec. He felt the sharp pain of something transfixing his left shoulder.

"ALEC!" Jace screamed, his eyes wide in terror as he watched the creature dragging Alec backwards.

Blinding pain shot through Alec's shoulder. Jace threw himself at the forsaken, wild panic rushing through the bond. Jace slashed the last of them with his sword, then he knelt down next to him. He groaned in pain. Jace's eyes flashed golden and Alec felt first his parabatai rune light up with heat, then his iratze. But that's when Jace, in full panic mode, leaned forward and yanked out whatever was stuck in Alec's shoulder. Alec screamed out of pure instinct - except it didn't hurt. He saw a long, bloody piece of wood in Jace's hand. His parabatai rune and iratze burned hot. There was no pain, just a pleasant tingly feeling in his left shoulder. He knew the wound had already healed, but Jace was still panting heavily, staring at him.

"I'm fine, Jace," Alec said, lifting up his shirt to show Jace the fading glow of the two runes. "Your angel blood, our bond, it healed the wound, Jace."

Jace had shock and disbelief written all over his face. Alec took his head between his hands and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. It was only then that Jace relaxed, panic subsiding.

"I was so fucking worried about you," Jace panted against his lips. "I love y-"

"If that is not my brother and his parabatai," Sebastian's English snarl ripped through the basement.

Jace was immediately off of Alec and on his feet, sword in hand. Alec jumped up, snatching his blade in the process.

"Shagging your parabatai, Jace? I wonder what the Clave would say to that," Sebastian said.

"You're not going to make it out of this alive," Alec said. Not after what Sebastian had seen.

Then he heard some grunting.

"Oh, I do think so," Sebastian said with a sly smile.

The grunting got louder and louder and within moments a dozen forsaken were in the room. Alec saw right through Sebastian's plan, he was going to run and let them be torn apart by the forsaken.

"Watch my back," Jace told Alec in a low voice, then he stepped up to Sebastian, his blade ready in hand. "Where is Valentine? He left you, didn't he?" he taunted Sebastian. "He's not coming back for you."

Alec knew Jace was trying to lure Sebastian into a fight. With any luck, it was going to work. He positioned himself with his back to Jace's and started slaying the forsaken that attacked him.

"My father is a man of his word," Sebastian spat.

Their blades clashed behind Alec but he was too busy to look, killing one forsaken after the other.

"He'll be back for me," Sebastian grunted.

"No," Jace laughed.

"He will."

Alec stabbed another forsaken through the chest and pushed the body to the ground. More and more forsaken came in. The place was crawling with them.

"He abandoned you again," Jace told Sebastian, blades colliding. "He might be your father, but don’t fool yourself into thinking he loves you."

Blades clashed, clashed, clashed. Sebastian was moving with demonic speed and force and Alec knew that Jace wouldn't be able to keep up with it for long. He himself was struggling with the number of forsaken spilling into the crowded space.

"He loves no one, especially not you," Jace panted.

"I’m going to kill you," Sebastian hissed.

Jace was breathing heavily.

"You know," Sebastian said, "my father taught me about a certain spot on a man's chest where you can stab him through the spine and the heart at the same time. Would you mind awfully if I showed you?"

Alec knew Sebastian was going to stab Jace. Sebastian struck with impossible speed. Jace wasn't going to be fast enough to block the blow, not even with his runes activated. Alec didn't even need to look to see the incoming blade. There were too many forsaken, two were clawing at his feet, another one launched itself at him. Sebastian was going to kill Jace. His parabatai. Alec was terrified like never before.

That's when the power hit him like an electric shock. It shot through him and several of his runes lit up. He kicked off the forsaken at his feet, swirled around and jumped. Beheaded another forsaken in the process. He was faster than Sebastian. His blade would slice Sebastian in two before Jace was as much as touched. But it never came to that. The explosion came first. Hot energy detonated from inside him and Jace. It ripped Sebastian to shreds. It tore through all the forsaken, it blasted the church on top of them away. Debris went everywhere.

For a second, Alec was in shock. He heard the impact of stones hitting the ground and it took a long moment for the dust to settle. Then he saw it. What used to be the basement of the church looked like a crater. He and Jace stood in the middle of it, unscarred. They were both too stunned to react.

Jace was the first to shake out of it. "We did this," he said, bewilderment thick in his voice. He wrapped his arms around Alec.

Alec hugged him tightly. The fear of losing each other had driven them past what they had thought possible and he pressed his face against Jace's neck, kissing him where his neck met his shoulder, not caring about the dust and dirt they were covered in. He felt Jace's hand stroke his back, the other resting in his nape. It was so soothing and Alec took a deep breath. Jace smelled of sweat and leather.

"No wonder the Clave is afraid of us," Alec finally said when he pulled away. He gave Jace a firm but quick kiss on the lips. "Let's go get Clary and Isabelle," he said.

They climbed up the rubbly crater wall, rocks and earth slipping under their feet. They were just hoisting themselves over the rim when they saw Clary and Isabelle running towards them.

"Jace! Alec!" Clary screamed.

Jace had just gotten up on his feet when Clary threw herself at him, nearly knocking him over.

"Oh Angel, Alec," Isabelle said, hugging him tightly, "are you okay?"

"We’re fine," Alec replied.

"What happened here?" Isabelle asked. "We were attacked by numerous forsaken, there were so many and we were still fighting them off when we heard a deafening bang."

"We were fighting forsaken as well, and Sebastian," Jace explained. "We were trying to kill them off, but Sebastian was incredibly fast. He got the better of me."

"I was afraid for Jace's life," Alec continued. "I was able to tap into the power of our bond. But I … we … overdid it." He made a gesture at the crater.

"And Valentine?" Clary asked.

"Wasn't here," Jace said.

"I just don't know how we are going to explain this to the Clave," Alec said, still pointing at the crater. "If I don't put it in the report and they somehow find out, they will know about us. But if I do put it in, there are going to be questions."

"We can just say that Sebastian had a mundane bomb inside the church," Clary said. "He wanted to kill you. You found out and managed to escape while locking Sebastian in there."

"Sounds barely believable," Jace said.

"It's the most plausible explanation we can give them," Alec said. "But I do worry. First the earthquakes and now this. And Angel forbid the Seelies don't keep quiet."

"I just feel bad for the poor people who have to clean this mess up," Isabelle said, looking around. "It's a cemetery after all."

***

Jace had a rough night, the fight with Sebastian had been a close call. Lying in bed he also felt Alec's worked up state through their bond. Jace knew how worried his parabatai was about the Clave finding out about them. Nervous energy buzzed between them and the only thing that would have been able to calm them down - rough sex followed by gentle lovemaking followed by spending the night tightly wrapped in each other's arms - was an impossibility. They touched themselves, feeling the other and their pleasure through the bond, but it was hardly a substitute for physically being together when it was what their bond, their souls were screaming for.

In the morning they tried to parabatai track Valentine like they had done with Sebastian, but for some reason it didn't work. At least it had given them a minute of quiet intimacy.

When he and Alec walked into the ops centre Clary and Isabelle were already there, discussing the next moves.

"Anything new?" Isabelle asked.

"We tried parabatai tracking Valentine, but to no avail," Alec replied.

"The warlocks' wards are up," Clary said, "Valentine must still be in New York."

Isabelle sighed. "I’m just glad Magnus and the warlocks raised those wards."

"They didn't do it for us," Alec replied.

"We have teams of Shadowhunters searching the entire city," Isabelle said. "We'll find him."

When Alec started talking to Isabelle about strategy, Jace turned around to Clary and asked quietly, "How are you coping?"

 "In a weird way I feel sad that Sebastian is dead," she confessed.

"I’m sorry," Jace said. "He was your brother. Alec and I-"

"I don’t blame you, he brought this on himself."

Suddenly, the alarm system went off. Jace looked up at the map on the big screen across the room, there was a fast-moving dot over Lower Manhattan.

"The aerial sensors have gone off," Alec said.

"Is it Valentine?" Clary asked.

"No," Isabelle said. "It's air-bound. Maybe it’s some kind of flying wraith demon."

"Let's gear up and go," Alec said.

Just minutes later the four of them stepped through Clary's portals onto an intersection in Lower Manhattan, glamoured, of course. Judging by the gridlock traffic the demon had already caused considerable damage to mundane infrastructure.

"Where is it?" Alec asked, bow and arrow ready.

"It should be right on top of us," Jace replied. Then he spotted it flying between two blocks. "Alec!" he warned him. As an archer, Alec was the only one of them who actually stood a chance of taking out the demon.

But it was gone just as fast as it had appeared. The demon was huge, it had the wings of a bat and the tail of a snake. Its wingspan was nearly as wide as the broad streets it was flying through and its black, crocodile-like scales reflected the morning sun. There was strength in every move. With its power and size, it was no wonder it had already caused destruction.

Jace was nervous, his instinct to protect his parabatai took over again. He stood back to back with Alec.

"I've never seen a demon like that," Clary said.

"They’re rare," Isabelle explained.

That's when Jace spotted it again. "Behind you!" he yelled at Alec. Swiftly they swapped positions, but they were too slow. Alec took a shot but missed, the demon had already disappeared behind a tall building, it was gone. But it was still loudly screeching and the flapping of its wings rustled through the streets.

"Where did it go?" Isabelle asked.

"I can’t see it," Clary said.

"It's coming around the block again," Alec said calmly.

A moment later the enormous creature appeared again.

"Alec!" Isabelle yelled.

The demon was flying right at them.

"Relax, I got this," Alec said.

And he did. Alec aimed, shot and hit the target - the belly of the demon.

Nothing happened.

Well, the arrow broke in two. It should have finished the demon, but it didn't even scratch its skin.

The demon lunged at them. Jace pushed Alec to the ground, throwing himself on top of him for protection. The demon missed them, but not by much.

He rolled off of Alec, they both jumped on their feet and tapped into the power of their bond. Through his mind alone Jace activated both his and Alec's heightened speed rune. He didn't need to tell Alec what to do. They started racing the demon through the streets. They were fast, faster than they should have been, even with the runes activated. Not a chance in the world for Isabelle and Clary to keep up. They lost them. But they didn't lose the demon.

It started spitting fireballs at them. That was the last thing they needed, more damage, more opportunities for the Clave to ask questions. Alec cursed under his breath.

"How do we kill this thing?" Jace yelled.

"Seraph blade," Alec said. "It will pierce the skin."

Jace had an idea. He activated their agility runes. He took a sharp right turn, ran straight towards a building. He reached it. Jumped. And started running up the wall. Leaped. His hands found a ledge, he pushed himself up. He was shooting further up the wall, Alec close behind him. They jumped and pushed. Hands and feet found window sills, rain pipes, gaps and juts. They were scaling the building at a rapid pace. Jace had seen Sebastian do it and what Sebastian had been capable of, they were too.

They reached the roof of the building. The demon was ahead of them but once they caught up to it - and Jace knew they would - they would be eye to eye. The demon wasn't moving straight across the city but rather zigzagging through the streets. If they moved in a straight line they would catch up. They stepped closer to the edge of the roof. The intersection below them looked far away, they were high up. Jace saw the demon flying away from them. The building on the opposite side of the street was too far away to jump, the gap was too big or so experience told him.

He pulled Alec in. They both were sweaty and hot. One hand in his nape, the other in the small of his back he pulled Alec closer. Alec wrapped his arms around him and Jace closed his eyes as their lips locked. Goosebumps ran over his skin. Kissing Alec made him feel strong, powerful even. They broke apart, took a few steps back. And ran over the edge. Adrenaline shot through them.

They hurled themselves across the wide gap between the buildings, smacked into the wall on the opposite side. But found purchase, leaped up the wall, ran across the roof, did a backflip onto the next one. They were moving as one. The buildings were close together now, easy to cross. They picked up the pace, leaped from building to building and caught up with the demon.

It was within throwing range and Alec drew his blade and tossed it at the demon's neck, his aim impeccable, but the sword bounced off the demon's scales. Alec was lucky to catch his blade, it could have easily tumbled down between the buildings.

The angered demon started spitting fireballs at them again. They ran.

"Dammit," Alec cursed.

"What do we do now? We can't jump on it and chop through its neck, we would fall to our death the moment the demon disintegrates," Jace said as they jumped across to another roof.

The demon was close behind. It was chasing them with fire now.

"We have to be careful, we can't cause another explosion," Alec said, breathlessly. "Not in the middle of the city. Too many mundanes."

They tossed themselves across another street.

"But we can use that same energy and focus it," Jace said.

He turned around to face the approaching demon. He and Alec were parabatai committing eros, they should have access to a higher power and they'd be damned if they wouldn't use it. Jace took Alec's hand and focused on the power of their bond, felt it surge through them. He drew all of it to his free hand, lifted it and shot a wave of hot white energy at the demon. The demon was torn apart by the blast and vaporised immediately.

"That's how it's done," he smirked.

Alec attacked him, crushed their bodies together, his mouth hungrily on Jace's. He kissed back. Vigorously. They were ablaze. Hands clung to leather. Lips, teeth, tongues clashing. Their hearts were racing, their bodies pressed together. The adrenaline of the hunt fuelled them, there was force and strength in every small move. Jace felt Alec hot against him, he wanted him right then and there.

But he broke away, took a step back. He felt dauntless. He saw his own fire reflected in Alec's eyes. Alec knew what he was about to do and he wasn't going to stop him. Instead, Alec took a step forward. They looked over the edge - it was at least a three hundred meter drop to the street and Jace was burning with power. He kept staring at Alec when they took a last step, right to the edge of the roof.

"We are unbreakable," Jace said.

They jumped together.

Jace felt no fear.

It was exhilarating.

Air rushed past his ears, the ground was approaching at a rapid pace.

The fall only lasted a few seconds.

They landed on their feet and gave themselves a moment to refocus.

"We need to go back," Jace said, "get Izzy and Clary."

"We're not supposed to be able to do things like that," Alec said. "Move that fast, blast energy, survive a jump like this. If we keep on going on missions someone will pick up on it. Someone will figure out what's wrong."


	7. The Fall Of Babylon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big THANK YOU to sapphicalexandra for betaing yet another chapter =)

It was the party of the century. Clary, in her unbelievable, stupid, amazing stubbornness, had travelled to Idris on her own and taken out Valentine in a one-woman operation.

Everybody was at the Hunter's Moon, werewolves, vampires, Seelies, warlocks, Shadowhunters. Alcohol was flowing and everyone was in a jolly good mood.

Jace was proud of Clary, he really was. He looked over to her - she looked happy, arm in arm with Simon, chatting with Isabelle and Magnus. She had gone from a newcomer in the shadow world to its heroine in a matter of months, she had saved them all and taken on the burden of killing her own father in the process.

Jace had already had a couple of beers when Luke popped the champagne. Even Alec was drinking. It was an animated, fun night, and it made Jace realise how much he missed going out. Before he had met Clary - and Angel forbid started being with Alec the way he was meant to be - he had quite enjoyed hitting the clubs with his latest conquests. Shadowhunters, Seelies, the occasional werewolf. He had often taken them to Downworlder clubs like Pandemonium, but every now and then a mundane venue had been a nice change too.

Occasionally, he had gone with Isabelle as his wingwoman and a few times the two of them had even talked Alec into coming with them. He had never really wanted to come along, but he had always seemed to enjoy himself once they got there. The nights where the three of them had been on the loose had been the most fun, whether or not Jace had taken somebody home.

He had loved dancing with Isabelle and Alec. It made him wonder what it would be like now, to dance with Alec, be close to him, in a sea of bodies, music thumping. Just the thought of it left him longing for his parabatai.

He thought back to his clubbing days - there had been a place, in the East Village, not far from Pandemonium. A mundane venue he had gone to a few times, but there was this other mundane club just opposite. He had never been inside, but he knew it would be perfect for them. And it was in walking distance of the Hunter's Moon, too. He pulled out his phone. It was already close to midnight. Alec wasn't really a party boy, but they were already out, plus he’d had a few drinks already. If there was a time to get Alec to go with him, it was now.  

Jace didn't even have to look where Alec was, he stood six steps behind him. Jace turned around and spotted him talking to Luke, laughing and smiling. He finished his drink and put the glass down on the bar, got up and strolled over to them.

"Hey, Luke," he smiled and put an arm across Alec's shoulders, "thanks for organising the party."

Alec, almost imperceptibly so, leaned into the embrace.

"Oh, you are welcome," Luke said with a big smile, "it's the most reason we've had to celebrate in a long time."

"Luke!" Underhill yelled from the half-open front door. "There's someone here to see you. She says her name is Ollie."

Luke sighed. "You'll have to excuse me, I need to handle this."

Jace waited for Luke to move away before leaning in a little closer to Alec. "You wanna get out of here?" Jace asked.

"You're heading back to the Institute already?" Alec asked surprised.

"No," Jace said, "but I know a place we should go to. It'll be fun."

Alec looked sceptical.

"There are so many people here," Jace said. "They won't even notice that we're gone."

Alec looked around, seemingly unsure. For a moment Jace wondered how many beers Alec had had. Three maybe? He wasn't drunk, Jace would be able to tell if he was, but Alec was definitely in high spirits.

"Okay," Alec finally said.

They quietly left through the back door and stepped into the alley behind the bar. It was only a short walk and some fresh air would surely do them good. They walked North on Chrystie Street, along a green strip of sports fields and small parks.

"So where are we going?" Alec asked after a while.

"A club," Jace said.

"A club? So that's where you're dragging me," Alec frowned.

"You'll like it," Jace said. "We should probably activate our blocking runes though."

Jace was pleased that he didn't even have to draw his stele for that anymore, activating them by the power of his mind alone on both himself and Alec.

"Having an Angel blooded parabatai has its perks, doesn't it?" Jace teased.

A grin split Alec's face.

They weren't far now, it was just around the next corner and down the street. They passed a couple of clubs, but Jace only stopped when they reached a plain steel door. It looked industrial, there was no sign, but Jace had seen the occasional queue outside this place in the past and knew the kind of crowd this club attracted.

He knocked against the heavy door and stepped back. Standing there he started to worry that two tall guys wearing all black and covered in tats might scare the mundane who was bound to open the door, so he took Alec's hand in his and switched on his brightest smile. The door opened and a bouncer peeked outside, giving them a once over.

Apparently, they passed his test because next the bouncer was motioning them to come in. They slipped inside, the metal door falling shut behind them.

Once inside they followed a set of concrete steps leading downstairs. Electronic music was pumping, getting louder with every step they took until they reached the crowded dance floor. Jace couldn't help but notice how hot it was. The place was poorly lit, dark blue and purplish lights illuminated the long bar and the large purple neon sign across it read "Club Mykonos".

Jace felt the heavy bass vibrate through his body as he and Alec headed for the bar. They pushed past mundanes dancing to the pounding beat.

"There are only men here," Alec said close to Jace's ear as they approached the bar.

A sly smile crept over Jace's face. "That's the point," he yelled over the music.

"This is a gay club?" Alec asked.

"It is and that's brilliant. The place is full of mundanes, no Shadowhunters, no Downworlders. And everybody's gay."

Alec looked sceptical as they reached the bar.

"Alec," Jace said, pressing close, "we can be ourselves here, we don't need to hide."

"I'm going to get us some shots," was all Alec said.

It could have gone worse, Jace thought to himself. They were inside the club and getting drinks. The guy behind the bar was busy, but Alec got his attention instantly when he lifted his hand. He was all sun-kissed skin and sandy blonde hair, the surfer boy type and he was most definitely ogling Alec. Jace couldn't help a satisfied smile seeing the attention his parabatai got - Alec was gorgeous and the world had to see it.

They were served in no time. Jace couldn't take his eyes off Alec. They threw back their shots and the moment they put the glasses down, Jace crowded Alec against the bar. Alec already seemed a little more relaxed, the tension from his body gone.

"Let's have some fun," Jace whispered in his ear, pushing himself against Alec.

He coaxed him onto the dance floor. The music was throbbing through the room, through them, flashing lights and rays of deep blue and purple sparsely illuminated the swaying mass of bodies all around them. Jace placed a hand on Alec's hip and started to dance. Everything was too loud, too crowded, too dark and it was exactly what they needed. Alec loosely draped an arm over Jace's shoulder, he looked him in the eye and Jace felt his world narrow down to Alec again. Their bodies pushed against each other as they moved to the fast beat.

Jace felt so carefree and it was beautiful to watch Alec loosen up too. They were surrounded by people who were like them - not in every aspect, but in one important one. Jace felt free and Alec did too, it was liberating to see men kiss, touch, even grind against each other. And Jace wanted to have that too. He wanted to be free to kiss Alec for everyone to see. His lips went to Alec's neck and he felt how it sent shivers down Alec's spine. He flicked his tongue over Alec's pulse point and more felt than heard the moan that fell from Alec's lips. It made him push his hips against Alec's. Alec was aroused, the bulge in his pants telling him as much as their bond. He smiled and placed another kiss on Alec’s jaw before he pressed his lips to Alec's. He tasted of alcohol and sweat and Alec. Intoxicating.

"Stay, I'm gonna go grab us a couple of beers," Alec said when they finally broke apart.

Jace smiled and watched Alec walk towards the bar, but his view was almost immediately obscured by the large number of people on the dance floor. With Alec gone for a moment, Jace kept dancing and took a closer look at the people around him. It was a good looking crowd, he had to admit. Well built men in their twenties and thirties, smooth skin and tight pants wherever he looked. Jace caught some of them looking at him, the way girls often looked at him. Not the way Alec looked at him though. Jace saw someone approach him. Tall, dark and handsome, piercing grey eyes and designer stubble. He was attractive. He was hot.

Jace found himself dancing with the beautiful stranger, keeping just a little bit of distance between their bodies. It was strange and exciting, Jace had never danced with a man other than Alec. Over the last few weeks, Jace had lost all interest in women. It's wasn't like he had been looking at men either, but now presented with such eye candy he saw the appeal. Maybe because the guy reminded him of Alec and his hard body.

Jace didn't have time to dwell on it though, because that's when a warm body pushed against him from behind and a hand went to his left hip. It slipped under his shirt, fingertips pushing into the waistband of his jeans until the hand came to rest over his parabatai rune. Possessive lips sucked on his neck as he was handed a bottle of beer. Jace took a sip, his eyes still resting on the good looking stranger. The three of them danced together for a while and Jace couldn't deny how much he enjoyed being between two men. He knew Alec, too, was looking at what he had lured in. But before long, their nameless new friend was saved from slowly but surely becoming the third wheel, when an attractive shirtless jock started to dance with him.

"At least he kept his hands to himself," Alec said in his ear.

Jace turned around with a grin. He pressed close and said, "He's got better manners than you, that's for sure."

He ran a hand down Alec's torso and gently touched his lips to Alec's. It was sloppy and slow as they swayed together, having had quite a few drinks already. After a moment he broke away and took another sip from his beer, their eyes locking. Then they were dancing again, bodies touching. They lost themselves in the beat, the lights, the crowd, it kept them in the present moment as their duties, the Institute and the gravity of their crime drifted away. All that mattered was right in front of them.

Eventually, they went back to the packed bar area. Alec didn't even need to lift a hand to get service.

"Have you tried our cocktails yet?" the surfer boy bartender him asked with a broad smile.

"What do you recommend?" Alec asked unfazed.

Surfer boy's smile grew bigger. "I make a mean Sex On The Beach," he replied.

Jace had no doubt he did.

"We'll take two," Alec said, a smile creeping in.  

"Coming right up," surfer boy said and got busy, strands of blond hair falling into his eyes.

He served the drinks up in no time and handed them to Alec. Jace quietly observed how surfer boy made sure his hands touched Alec's.

"It's on the house," he said with a wink, annoyingly uninterested in the fact that Alec was here with company, thank you very much.

Jace first wasn't sure how he felt about it, his parabatai so obviously being flirted with. But deep down he knew that with Alec's body and soul clearly marked as his, willingly handed to him again and again, he would never have to worry, not even for a second. But a little jealousy every now and then could add a pleasant spice to the mix. He felt it heating him up right now. He made sure his eyes met Alec's when he took his glass from Alec, their fingers touching just a little longer than necessary. He licked his lips and victory rushed through him when Alec's eyes tracked the movement. Take that, surfer boy, he thought.

***

They got themselves another round of cocktails before they hit the dance floor again. Alec had never been into clubbing or drinking, but tonight was different. He didn't even know why he allowed himself to get drunk, why he was enjoying this night so very much.

Whether it was the fact that the war was finally over and they had defeated their greatest enemy. Or the fast-paced music and the heat of the dance floor. Or the charged, sexual atmosphere in the club with a crowd of handsome guys, many of them half-naked. Or the fact that Jace was so close to him, making out with him in public, for everyone to see. It was exhilarating. They were drowning in each other on the dance floor. The beat was strong and the lights were low and so were his inhibitions. It was liberating to be with Jace like this, to be able to show everyone that he was his, to kiss, to touch.

There was a door to another room that people were going in and out of.

"You wanna check out the other room?" he asked with a nod to the door.

"Sure," Jace said, grabbing his hand.

They crossed the dance floor and he followed Jace through the door. It was even darker and hotter in there and the music was dampened by the walls. They were in a narrow entryway and as they walked around the corner Alec realised what this was.

The men in here were definitely wearing even fewer clothes than on the dance floor. People were getting blow jobs, others were having outright sex. He had heard about this before, just never seen it with his own eyes. A darkroom. Before he could make his escape Jace had trapped him against the wall. They shouldn't be in here. They shouldn't be doing this. They really, really shouldn't. But Jace's lips were already sucking on his neck, his hands under Alec's shirt. He wanted to protest, but he had been painfully hard in his pants for far too long, he had had too many drinks and he needed this too badly. They were anonymous and safe. And Jace's mouth and hands on him just felt way too good.

Alec pulled him in for a heated kiss. Jace devoured him, their hips thrust forward and met. Alec knew they both just had to release all that pent up energy and lust, it was going to be quick and dirty and exactly what they needed. He let his own hands wander under Jace's shirt, his muscles moving under his touch, his body nice and firm, smooth skin over hard abs. The strength of their bond ran through them, familiar and comforting. It was easy to control it now, to internalise the power and leave their bodies vibrating with it. Which was a good thing really, there was no need to scare the mundanes here.

He didn't protest when Jace manhandled him and turned him around so that he was facing the wall. Jace pushed him against it, hard. He loved it when Jace got all rough, there were few things better in the world than Jace being in charge of him.

The wall was probably dirty and Alec didn't even want to think about how many people must have come against it over the years. He didn't care. All that mattered was Jace working his pants open, then forcefully pushing them down. Jace came back up and palmed Alec's bottom cheeks for a moment before he let go, presumably to push his own pants down. Alec rested his own arms against the wall above his head, giving him support and something to push back on.

A moment later he felt a cool, lubed up finger rubbing against his hole. Jace now carried around packets of lube too, Alec's brain registered. The knowledge left him strangely content. Jace's finger slowly pushed inside of him and his body involuntarily squeezed it. It felt different standing up and Alec enjoyed it, especially when Jace started kissing his neck as he was opening him up. He felt Jace's tongue, his teeth, and he could barely keep himself from pushing down on Jace's intruding finger.

A second one was added soon and Alec moaned in frustration as the angle didn’t allow Jace to hit his prostate. Jace was pushing in and out of him, working him loose. He felt exposed in the public setting, pants around his ankles, Jace's fingers inside of him. But at the same time, it was thrilling, the alcohol swallowing most of the embarrassment.

It always pained him that he couldn't share his love for Jace with the world. It was secret, forbidden even, but now in this very moment their love was displayed for everyone to see. Jace was scissoring his inner walls apart and Alec wanted more, needed more. Jace had learnt quickly how to push his buttons in all the right ways, how to have him pulsing and twitching around his fingers.

After a minute of working him loose Jace withdrew his fingers and Alec steadied himself for what was to come. The muffled beat of the music vibrated through the wall, moans resounded all around them. It took Jace a moment to lube himself up, then his forehead came to rest against his shoulder as the blunt head of his cock started to press against his hole. Alec cried out in pleasure and pain when Jace pushed into him in one smooth motion. Suddenly the angle was just perfect and Jace hit his sweet spot just right.

Alec's eyes fell shut in pleasure. Angel, he loved being taken by Jace. It took him a moment to adjust to the fullness inside of him. The way Jace was crammed in his hole applied glorious pressure against that little bundle of nerves deep inside of him. It left him clenching around Jace's cock. One day he would come from just that. Jace started moving in and out of him, hitting his prostate with every sure thrust. And Alec couldn't contain himself, filthy low moans escaped him every time Jace scored. Jace's hands were on his hips, holding him in place, his left hand on Alec's parabatai rune. It made him shiver with love and pleasure and need.

Soft lips kissed his neck, the shell of his ear. "They're watching us," Jace said.

Alec didn't want to look but he couldn't help himself. Several pairs of eyes were trained on them, one guy leaning against the wall diagonally opposite them was getting his cock sucked by a slim man with a shaggy mop of brown hair. He was staring at them, almost visibly salivating. Alec wondered what kind of picture they were making, two muscular guys, sporting an array of matching black tattoos. It was more than obvious that they weren't strangers.

"Let them see how I make you mine," Jace whispered in his ear.

Jace thrust into him again and again, building a steady, merciless rhythm.

"Let them see how you come for me," Jace panted.

They flew into a frenzy, Jace pounding into him harder and harder. They were gone. They were making a show out of it and Alec didn't care. He wanted it. There was no way he would have done this without the alcohol in his system. It was embarrassing and humiliating and hot. His cheeks were burning and he was glad for the alcohol.

It was as if a lifetime of repression fell off of him. In this moment he had everything I had ever wanted and thought he could never have. The way the head of Jace's cock slid over his prostate, again and again, should be illegal. In fact, it was. It made his legs shake and his vision go black. He wanted everyone to see how Jace, his parabatai, made him come.

Jace's left hand continued caressing his parabatai rune when his other hand finally curled around Alec's cock. Pleasure shot through them, energy pulsed, barely contained. Jace's fingers pumped and squeezed him in time with the thrusts of his hips. Alec let himself tumble towards the edge and everything inside of him tensed up. Jace was penetrating him so good, his hand stroking him just the way he needed it.

"Common babe," Jace growled, "let them see that you are mine."

That did it. Alec felt his cock twitch in Jace's hand as everything inside of him convulsed. His walls clamped down on Jace as they came together. Hot, white sperm painted the wall in front of him as Jace's own heavy contractions pumped him full of cum. Jace bit down on his neck but not even that softened Jace's loud growl, "ALEC!"

"Mr Lightwood?"

Alec had never come down so fast from an orgasm. Jace immediately pulled out of him.  Fuck, Alec could still feel the aftershocks as he looked around in panic, scrambling to pull his pants back up.

It was Underhill,he had covered his mouth with his hand, whether it was in shock or because he had said something, Alec didn't know. If just one person in the entire darkroom hadn't been looking at them before, they certainly were now.

Underhill was standing next to a mundane guy, an arm placed around his shoulders. He quickly dropped it, he looked just as shocked as Alec felt. Alec had literally gotten caught with his pants down.

He was sober immediately, like somebody had dropped a bucket's worth of ice water over his head. He and Jace had become careless. They should have never gone to a club so close to the Hunter's Moon where the Downworlders and Shadowhunters party was on-going. Let alone have drunk sex in a darkroom.

Underhill was gay, Alec knew that, the man had come out to him just recently. And he had been at the party, it had always been a possibility he would show up here. Alec silently cursed himself for being to drunk to think about the risks they had taken.

With the shocked look on Unterhill's face, Alec was sure he hadn't even followed them in there. It had been a coincidence. Underhill had been there in his own off duty time, for his own personal celebration of the end of the war. Alec loathed himself for his carelessness. He was unpleasantly reminded of the scene that they had made at the Seelie court. Expect this time they had no one to blame but themselves.

Jace was two steps away, pants back up and ready to do whatever he had to do.

Before either of them could say anything, Underhill abandoned the mundane he was with and walked out of the darkroom. Alec felt paralysed, unable to move. Before he would stop him, Jace was after Underhill.

***

Underhill was making his way out of the club but Jace was hot on his trail. Nevertheless Underhill was out the front door before Jace had reached the foot of the staircase. He had no time to lose so he ran up the stairs and busted through the front door. He saw Underhill walking away.

"Underhill!" he yelled. "Don't you dare and say a word to anyone. I swear …"

He turned around to face Jace. For a long moment, he said nothing, he was visibly conflicted. Jace heard the door to the club behind him open and close. He didn't need to look to know that it was Alec.

Finally Underhill said, "I wasn't going to tell, I'm the last one to judge someone's lifestyle. And I wasn't spying on you if that's what you're thinking, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like you. But you are parabatai and you ought to know that what you are doing is dangerous." He shook his head. "Knowing about it is making me an accessory. Let's pray to the Angel the Clave never finds out."

A sad smile crossed his face, then he turned around and left.

"Thank you," Alec said loud enough for him to hear, but Underhill didn't turn his head again.

 


	8. Entreat Me Not To Leave Thee

Alec didn't have to say anything, Jace knew he was panic-stricken.  

"He’s not going to tell, okay?" Jace said. "Just another friend who found out. It’s not the end of the world."

"And how many more people do you want to find out about us?" Alec asked too quietly.

Jace didn't know what to do, Alec’s pounding heart caused his own to race just the same. Jace kept cursing. Then he tried to hug Alec, to pull him close but he just backed away. That stung. It made fear boil up in Jace as well. At the same time, he hated himself for dragging Alec to the mundane club. If they had only never gone, if he had only been able to resist the urge to take Alec in the darkroom.

They didn't go back to the Institute after what happened, instead, Jace pulled out his phone and found a mundane hotel nearby with vacancies. They needed a quiet place to calm down, to talk.

In the end, they hailed a cab to take them to The Riley Hotel on the Upper East Side. It was far enough from both the Hunter's Moon and the Institute. Alec didn't say a word on the way there, silently brooding. Once they arrived Jace checked them in and paid cash for the room, leaving a generous tip for the staff. Enough so that they didn't insist on seeing ID. Jace lied and said they had forgotten it at home when the truth was that they didn't even own any. Shadowhunters never needed it - or was it just another way the Clave kept them under control?

They went to their room and Jace felt the slightest bit of relief when he locked the door behind them and subsequently closed the blinds. It wrapped them in a cocoon of privacy, at least for the time being.

It was only then that Alec let him touch him again. They sat side by side on the queen sized bed, leaning against the upholstered headboard with a couple of pillows in their backs. Their shoulders were touching as they held hands so tightly that their knuckles turned white.

Eventually, Alec spoke, voice strained, "Too many people know. First the Seelies and Magnus. Then Isabelle and Clary walked in on us. Simon figured it out and who knows if other vampires or werewolves did too. Sebastian did, too, and thank the Angel he is dead. But now Underhill. And the Clave isn't dumb. There were the earthquakes, the explosion at the cemetery and we blasted that wraith demon. We are going to get found out, it's a matter of time."

Jace swallowed hard. Alec was right, too many people knew. There was little they could do about that. He silently cursed.

"And even if the Clave hasn't figured it out yet," Alec continued, "there is no way they are not going to. We are going to be in situations again and again where we will need to use the strength and powers that we are not supposed to have. It has already happened twice and we won't be able to explain it away every single time. The strange incidents will accumulate and that in itself will be enough to raise the Clave's suspicions."

"We need to be even more careful, keep our distance during the day. Disappear to mundane hotels to have sex. Not go on missions together," Jace said.

"The problem is that I don't even want to let you out of my sight anymore during missions," Alec confessed with a sad smile.

"Me neither," Jace said.

"But you are right," Alec said, "going on missions together is a bad idea. We're more powerful when we are together, too powerful, in fact, too strong. If either of us, even without the other, goes on mission with someone other than Clary or Isabelle then that's a problem. They will notice the strength that shouldn't be there. And, by the way, we can't run around with you activating my runes at will."

"We don't know what the Clave already knows, if they know anything. They might be clueless," Jace said.

"To be honest," Alec said, "I'm sure they are at least suspicious, they have to be, with everything that has happened. They are terrified of parabatai committing eros. They investigated dad and Michael Wayland for years without any hard evidence. It's possible that we have been under surveillance since before we committed eros."

"Angel, I hope that's not true," Jace said, eyes wide. "We need to re-evaluate every single person in our lives and ask ourselves if we can trust them, sometimes it's the people you trust the most that turn out to be the traitor."

Jace sounded bitter to his own ears.

"Not everybody is like Valentine, Jace," Alec said. "We can trust Izzy. She's known about me being in love with you since before our bond."

"I still can't believe for how long you how long you've been in love with me," Jace chuckled and leaned in to give Alec a kiss on the cheek. Alec didn't react.

"Izzy is not overly fond of the Clave," Jace quickly added, trying hard to ignore Alec's lack of response. "Plus you remember the memory demon? It was you who came up for her, she loves you the most. Izzy would never sell us out. Never."

"Clary as well," Alec said. " She is all new to the shadow world and she doesn't care one bit about the law. Emotions and love matter to her, not the rules. She enthusiastically supports us. Clary and Izzy practically set us up. If anyone's on our side, it's the two of them."

"Simon's fine too," Jace added. "He's been Clary's best friend for ages. The Clave and their laws don't matter to him either and he seems eager to support any relationship that involves me and someone other than Clary." He paused and then added, "But what about Magnus?"

"Well, the good thing is that he doesn't know everything," Alec said. "He only knows about that one kiss, probably thinks you are straight and that I didn't act on my feelings, that I am smarter than I really am."

"And what do we do with Underhill?" Jace asked, unwilling to think about the last thing Alec said.

"Nothing," Alec replied. "He said he won't tell and I want to believe him. He is somehow still loyal to me. Putting pressure on him to keep quiet might have the opposite effect of what we want, but regardless of him, we need to be very careful and keep our eyes open."

"You think the Clave suspects, don't you?" Jace asked.

"Yes," Alec replied. "Even if they don't have an informant in the New York Institute already. Too many strange things have happened, clues that can lead them to discover we are committing eros. To be perfectly honest until now I just tried to ignore the risks we were taking. What we had was just too good to be true and I hung onto it with everything I had."

A lump formed in Jace's throat.

"But I can't ignore the risks we're taking anymore," Alec continued. "Underhill now knows too. More and more people will find out and sooner or later one of them won't be on our side. If that has not already happened, because I'm worried about the Seelies, too. So far the Clave might have had suspicions but no proof, they even might have not had the time to investigate us properly with the ongoing war. But the war is over now and there is an even bigger problem. Until yesterday the soul sword was with Valentine, but Clary recovered it and it's now here in the Institute."

"I wouldn't be surprised if the Clave sent an envoy to collect the soul sword," Jace said. He tried to stay calm but fear was spreading through him.

"Exactly," Alec said. "And they might use it on us. Which is why this needs to end."

"What needs to end?" Jace asked, suddenly shaking. Alec could not be saying what Jace thought he was saying. The was no way in the world he could not be with Alec anymore. Panic threatened to overwhelm him. His heart was pounding. It only made him hold onto Alec's hand even tighter. Jace broke out in a cold sweat.

"We need to break-up," Alec said and the determination in his voice was a death sentence. He pulled his hand out of Jace's grip.

Jace saw himself falling as the world around him crumbled. The one thing he truly cared about was about to be ripped away from him and he had to stop it.

"No," Jace said, shaking his head. He sat up straight and turned his body to face Alec properly. "No, we are not doing that. No. Just no."

He wasn't going to accept this. His heart was beating way too fast. He couldn't breathe.

"We need to do damage control," Alec said. He seemed calmer now than earlier, Jace realised. And while Alec had calmed down, Jace himself was now panicking. This could not be happening.

"No," Jace said. "There has to be another way. There has to be."

"There isn't," Alec replied. It sounded unbearably definitive. "We need to stop this now and if they know or find out we can truthfully say that we're done and that there is nothing they need to worry about."

"That won't matter to them!" Jace almost yelled. "It's the Clave!"

"All the more reason. If there's an issue I will take the fall, say that was my fault. It was me who kissed you at the Seelie court after all," Alec said.

"Without that kiss, I would be dead!"

"Jace, I am doing this because I love you. I want to protect you. If we end it now hopefully at least you can come out of this unharmed," Alec said calmly.

"This is just wrong. I have a say in this too!" Jace was properly yelling now.

"What do you want to do?" Alec laughed bitterly. Then his face became a stoic mask and he said, "We could confess and agree to separation, agree to be pulled apart and sent to opposite sites of the earth. But since we've been sleeping together they would derune and exile us anyways. It's the law after all."

Jace wasn't having any of this, he was in denial. The truth was that Alec wasn't going to be persuaded. Jace knew but he didn't care.

"No," Jace said firmly. "I am not letting you go, Alec. This is not happening. If they come after us, and that's an if, then let them. We fight. You have seen what we are capable of. They fight us and we blast them into oblivion."

"Parabatai in love have fought the Clave before," Alec said. "They lost. There are plenty of warlocks and other Downworlders that would assist the Clave. We can't go and kill everyone that gets in our way. They could hold our family and friends hostage and threaten to kill them if we don't hand ourselves over. We are not going to go rogue. The idea alone is insane. It is exactly what the Clave is afraid of and if we do that it only proves them right!" Alec spat the last words.

"Then let's get it out of the way," Jace shot back. "Let's ask for a deruning. Let's become mundanes. We tell them we're done with their shit. Fuck the Clave!"

"And then what?" Alec scoffed. "We would still be exiled and never allowed to see our family and friends again. And there's more than one greater demon that would come after us straight away, plenty of them want revenge even if it's for something we didn't do personally, something another Shadowhunter did. They would take it out on us. And we would be left without our runes, without our weapons. Defenceless."

"We will find rogue Downworlders who are willing to protect us! There are plenty of them already out there!" Jace exclaimed.

Alec got awfully quiet for a moment. Jace could only hope that that meant he had run out of valid arguments. Alec took a breath to say something three times but always stopped himself.

His voice was breaking when he finally did say, "No matter how we get deruned, Jace, voluntarily or not, they will always, always take away our parabatai runes too."

It would break their bond irrevocably. Alec didn't have to say it. He couldn't. And he didn't need to.

"You would rather give up our love than our bond," Jace said.

Alec didn't reply right away. After a moment of hesitation he said, "I would rather never kiss you again than have our souls ripped apart. I don't ever want you or myself to have to feel that pain. That emptiness and agony."

Jace understood. With a tight feeling in his chest, he remembered the day Alec had been lying in his arms dying. There was no pain he had ever felt in his entire life that even began to compare to the agony he had experienced when Alec's soul was very nearly torn from his. He didn't want to think about what it would be like if their bond actually broke, even if both of them came out of it alive. They would spend the rest of their lives with a gaping hole inside their soul that could never be filled again. They would spend every single day desperately trying to heal each other with kisses and hugs and gentle lovemaking only to find out that they could never ever again be united in the way they had to be. In the one way that mattered the most, bar none.

"We have spent our entire lives as best friends," Alec said softly. "We can be just friends again. Until a few weeks ago you didn't even want me in that way. And I spend all my life loving you and not having you. We can do that again, we can go back to the way things were before that kiss at the Seelie court."

Jace was close to tears. His chest hurt with every breath that he took. "We can't go back there. We can't. I certainly cannot. Not after I learnt what it's like to kiss you, to fall asleep in your arms, to sleep with you. I need to be with you in every way, Alec. Please."

Alec took Jace's hand between his own and brought it to his lips. Jace's heart stopped when Alec placed the most gentle of kisses on his fingers.

"I will always love you, Jace," Alec said and Jace could see the tears in his eyes too which were threatening to spill. "I swear I will. We will always be there for each other, we will always love each other. Fiercely. We will just never act on it again."

"We’ll just be friends," Jace said.

Alec nodded.

Jace felt a stabbing pain in his chest. He pulled his hand out of Alec's.

"This is sick!" he spat. "It's wrong. This is not how it's meant to be. It can't be. And it will never ever work. We have needs. We will want, need to sleep with someone eventually, whether it's with each other or somebody else. What if we can now feel it when one of us is having sex with someone else? And I mean properly feel it, all of it, physically. Cause I’m pretty sure that is what it’s going to be like. I don't want to have to feel it when you're fucking another man, Alec, I don't. I don't deserve that kind of punishment and neither do you. Because I will have sex, whether it's with you or a new lover or some hustler I picked up, who looks like you, because I can't stand going without anymore. We can't ask each other to spend our lives celibate. It's not going to work and you know it. Do you remember how miserable you were before you met Magnus?"

He was hurting Alec and he was doing it on purpose. And he kept going when he said, "Remember how much you wanted to get fucked but you thought you never could? How you were lusting after me, never able to have me. It would be just like that again. Except now you would know every single time I am in the arms of someone else. You would feel it all. And don't tell me that that wouldn't drive a knife right through your heart, because that's what it would do to me."

Jace stopped. He had gone too far. He should have stopped a minute ago, he didn't actually want to hurt Alec. He didn't. Immediately he regretted his words, wished he could take them back. It all had come out of him in his own desperation and rage. He had hurt Alec maliciously and now he was waiting for Alec to lash out on him in return, to give him the response he deserved.

It never came, Alec stayed silent.

"I'm sorry," Jace whispered after a minute of deafening silence. His heart clenched painfully. "I didn't mean it. I swear, I didn't mean it. I'm just fucking scared right now."

"It's true," Alec said. "Every word you just said is true. It would break me, to know you're with someone else."

"Let's work this out, Alec, neither of us wants to do this. Please don't. We will find a way," Jace said, his lips trembling and now tears were really streaming down his face.

"Getting deruned and exiled is not something we could survive or bear," Alec said. "We cannot be together."

Jace felt like somebody had just ripped out his heart. It made his chest feel cold and empty. He was trembling all over. His ears rang. He couldn't lose Alec. He just couldn't. He wouldn't let this happen. He was crying.

"Please Alec," he whispered. "Don't."

But Alec just turned his head to the side, he wouldn't even look at him anymore. It was like a punch in the gut, the pain was too much, it overwhelmed and consumed him. This wasn't fair. Alec wasn't leaving him because he didn't love him anymore, he was leaving him because of stupid, unfair circumstances. This wasn't right, it was unacceptable. It couldn't end like this and he wouldn't let it, not after he finally, finally knew love. Alec couldn't truly really want this, he was wrong and Jace would just have to show him that there was a way out.

"No," he sobbed. He fell forward against Alec's body, his forehead coming to rest on Alec's shoulder. Jace's hands fisted Alec's shirt. He held on tightly as if his grip could somehow keep Alec from breaking up with him. But Alec remained stoic, caught up in his own end of this nightmare.

"Don't leave me," Jace begged. "Please don't leave me. You are everything to me. I can't live without you. Please."

He was crying and sobbing. He felt so selfish as he held onto Alec who clearly didn't want this anymore. Tears were streaming down his face and then seeped into Alec's shirt. He cried and sobbed until he started to hyperventilate. He couldn't stop it. Every breath jolted through him like an electric shock, but he kept on begging until his voice failed him. Then he was left breathing and sobbing rapidly, uncontrollably.

He heard and felt it when Alec started to sob as well. Jace cried out as the pain of it drove through both of them. Strong arms wrapped themselves around him, held him close. For a split second his heart soared at the embrace. But Alec was only trying to comfort him, his resolve remained unchanged.

The hyperventilation only got worse. Jace was light headed and his hands tingled. His body's reaction drove him further into his panic. There was nothing he wouldn't do to stop this. But he wanted to be with Alec, no matter the cost.

"P-Please … plea-please, A-Alec."

They both cried and sobbed. Their bond synced them up and Alec's breathing became rapid, he started to hyperventilate as well. Their hearts beat out of control, their bodies were in a state of alarm and panic, trying to repel the impending separation. The pain their bodies and souls experienced was excruciating. But Jace somehow rejoiced in it, knowing that their bond, as if it had a mind of its own, was fighting for them.

Jace felt Alec's resolution waver and he launched onto that straw like a drowning man. Because that's what he was.

"I … I'll do an-anything," Jace sobbed, still unable to get his breathing under control. "P-Please. Please, Al-Alec." He took a moment to try and catch his breath before he blurted out, sobbing, "You took a fucking oath. You swore you'd never leave me."

But then Jace felt how new determination arose inside Alec like a storm. That's when Jace knew he had lost the war for good, it was over. Alec was going to do what he thought he had to do in order to protect them, there was no stopping him. Jace felt very tired all of a sudden.

His breathing stopped almost entirely, all the fight left him. He surrendered. Lax he sagged against Alec, savouring the last moments of their embrace. Alec held him tighter and Jace knew he would take every last crumb Alec was willing to give him. He let his resignation flood the bond, conveying his surrender.

Alec straightened and with that Jace let go. Unclenching his hands from where they had held onto Alec's shirt in a death grip was painful in every sense of the word. He sat back and finally looked up at Alec. Alec's eyes looked sore but the expression of his face was hard determination. Jace only realised that he was still crying when Alec leaned forward to kiss away a tear on his cheek.

Hyperventilation must have made Jace delusional because the next thing he heard Alec say was, "Let's run."

It took him a long moment to process those little words. He didn't understand.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

"You heard me," Alec said, jaw firm.

"Wait. No," Jace said, his brain too tired and exhausted. He was only slowly catching up. "But … no. You just became head of the Institute, that's what you've always wanted. You can't just leave that behind."

"I can and I will," Alec said. "You are everything I ever wanted, the rest doesn’t matter."

"And your family. They need you. You love them. Izzy, Max. You can't just leave them behind."

"I can and I will," Alec repeated.

"How do you want to do this anyway?" Jace laughed. He felt ridiculously light. "Run, I mean. You wanna stage our deaths? They will find us and it will only make things worse when they do."

Alec took Jace's hand in his and entwined their fingers, his eyes never leaving Jace's.

"It's the best shot we got," Alec said. "At this rate, they will derune us anyways the moment the soul sword proves their suspicions are founded. If running does as much as give us a little more time together, I'll do it. We are unbreakable, Jace, so let's jump off the edge. Because you are right. We took an oath."

"For whither thou goest, I will go," Jace whispered as he surrendered for the second time, sinking forward against Alec.

They kissed. Jace's world was spinning again. There was nothing but Alec's soft lips against his own. His stomach unclenched and warmth spread through his cold body when Alec took his lower lips between his own. Alec gently ran the tip of his tongue along it and Jace's lips parted. Feeling Alec's tongue nudge against his own felt like salvation. Alec's hand went to Jace's nape holding him in place as they deepened the kiss. Alec's fingertips grazing his skin was the most comforting thing in the world.

They let themselves slide down until they were lying side by side in bed, facing each other. Jace rested his forehead against Alec's.

"I'm sorry," Alec said.

"Me too," Jace said. "I said so many things I didn't …"

But Alec put a finger on his lips to silence him. Gave him a chaste kiss. They were both still shaking with the emotional turmoil they had just gone through.

"I love you, Alec," Jace said as he started to cry again. It was all too much. He wrapped an arm around Alec's waist, hand coming to rest on his back.

"I love you too, Jace," Alec replied as he wiped away Jace's tears, crying himself.

"So we are really going to do this?" Jace asked.

"Yeah," Alec replied, pulling him close.

"I will protect you with my life," Jace vowed.

"And I will protect you with mine," Alec answered.

They stayed like this for a moment, taking in each other's presence, finding comfort in it. Their hands were gently roaming each other's bodies. They were still crying, with happiness this time. Touching each other was grounding and soothing. Jace melted into Alec's touch as Alec slipped a hand under Jace's shirt and ran it over his back. The need to reconnect became all-encompassing.

They sat up on the bed and carefully Jace helped Alec out of his shirt, moving it up his body and over his head. Next, Alec's hands were at the hem of his own shirt. His hands moved it slowly up his body, running his fingertips over Jace's flanks in the process, leaving goosebumps behind. Once his shirt was on the floor next to Alec's Jace wrapped an arm around Alec's neck to pull him in for another kiss. Their bare upper bodies finally were against each other skin to skin, causing Jace to sigh softly. His hand moved up to run through Alec's hair. Alec just hugged him close and it was nothing but blissful.

They took of each others pants and boxers before lying back down on the bed. Alec gently rolled Jace on his back and climbed on top of him. They kissed, feather-light and open-mouthed and Jace let his body relax completely.

Alec moved to kiss his cheek, then he tilted his head to kiss Jace's neck. "Let me make love to you," he whispered. Jace's skin tingled.

Alec slowly went down his body, placing hot kisses everywhere. Jace wanted to cry again when Alec reverently kissed his parabatai rune. The touch of Alec's soft lips against the rune sent shivers through his whole body. It made him dissolve in love.

"This is all that matters," Alec said in a low voice as kept placing open-mouthed kisses on their rune. Those words left Jace love-stoned.

Jace fell into an almost trance-like state when fingertips brushed over his stomach, his hips, his thighs. He was exhausted from crying and all too willingly let Alec be in control of him.

Alec moved on the bed and Jace lifted his hips up when Alec grabbed a pillow and placed it under Jace's bottom. Letting himself slowly drop back down on the soft mass was heavenly. But not quite as heavenly as the feeling of Alec's full lips kissing his entrance. Jace moaned softly and his legs fell open in plain invitation. Alec's warm, wet tongue slipped out to slowly lick his hole. Jace closed his eyes and let himself relax into the caress. He ran his fingers over his eyes in pleasure.

Alec's tongue circled him down there, coaxing little whimpers out of him. Jace softly gasped when Alec's tongue pushed into and past his tight ring of muscle. Alec started to massage his tender inner walls with his tongue and Jace had never felt so loved and accepted in his life. Alec was being so good to him.

When Alec withdrew Jace felt him move on the bed again. A moment later he heard something rip open. He smiled happily when he felt a lubed up finger draw little circles around his entrance. His mouth fell open as a single finger carefully pushed inside. Alec placed his other hand over Jace's parabatai rune while he slowly moved in and out a few times. Jace felt himself loosen up quickly and Alec effortlessly added a second finger. Jace turned into a shivering, leaking mess as Alec moved in and out of him.

And of course, Alec noticed and came up to kitten licked at the pearling pre-cum. Jace quivered at the soft touch of Alec's tongue against his tip.

"Feels good?" Alec asked softly.

"So good," Jace breathed in response. "Please don't stop."

"I'll take good care of you," Alec promised.

And Jace couldn't help but moan when Alec wrapped his wet lips around the head of his cock and let his tongue wander all the while his fingers were still working to stretch Jace open. Jace basked in the gentle caress. He desperately needed this reassurance of love after the panic he had just gone through. Letting Alec touch him like that made him feel awfully vulnerable and that was exactly what he wanted, what he needed. Being taken apart by Alec was all that mattered.

Alec's licked and circled him and Jace felt like he was floating. The feeling intensified when Alec lightly sucked the head of his cock and slid in a third finger. Jace felt himself open up, literally and figuratively. He was Alec's.

He was caught unprepared when Alec swallowed him whole in one swift move and simultaneously nudged his prostate with his fingers. It sent shock waves through Jace. His cock hit the back of Alec's throat and Jace twisted in an attempted not to come to early. He only slowly tumbled back from the edge when Alec pulled his mouth off of him.

"I want you to come whenever you're ready babe," Alec told him.

Jace nodded weakly.

Then Alec's mouth was back on him and his skilled fingers massaged his sweet spot. Jace's head fell back and his breathing quickened.

"I love you," he breathed. "You're going to make me come so good."

Jace slowly propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand wandered into Alec's hair. Through half-closed lids, he watched Alec gently move his head up and down. It felt so good. Alec himself was rubbing against the sheets, chasing friction.

Jace was moaning deeply now. The bond was feeding him new energy. He carefully thrust into Alec's mouth, hand in his nape. Then he began using him for his own pleasure. He hit the back of Alec's throat with every move. Alec was stroking his prostate in perfect sync with every thrust. Jace felt a delicious heat build inside his stomach and he was so, so close. Alec looked up at him, straight into his eyes, his soul and that was all it took to push them over the edge. Jace's hips pushed forward one last time and he was emptying himself down Alec's throat. Alec was keenly swallowing around him.

Despite the orgasm he stayed hard, aroused. Before his contractions even as much as stopped Alec already buried his cock deep inside of him. Jace's eyes went wide but he relaxed when Alec kiss him, his warm lips moving against his own. Their tongues met and Jace tasted himself. He licked hungrily at Alec's mouth, chasing his own taste on Alec's tongue.

Alec was already building a slow rhythm, giving Jace's now over-sensitive body almost too much. They let their energy run free between them.

Alec buried his head in the crook of Jace's neck. He was whispering against Jace's skin.

"I will always love you, Jace," he promised. "Always. I will take care of you, I will be there for you, every day. You are everything, Jace."

Jace involuntarily tightened up in response. He was floating again. Alec hit his sweet spot with every single move and it left Jace gasping and shuddering underneath him. Jace pushed back on Alec's cock, taking him in even further. Alec's gentle movements were continuously pushing against Jace's prostate and Jace kept making little sounds as Alec whispered sweet nothings and words of love.

Then Alec came up and kissed him deeply. He took both of Jace's hands and entwined their fingers while pining Jace's hands on the bed. When Alec came up for air they ended up staring into each others' eyes again. Jace wrapped his legs around Alec's hips, letting him slide impossibly deeper.

Alec made him feel loved and protected. As if he had read his thoughts Alec gently said, " I will never leave you. No matter the consequences. I will never leave you."

"I love you so much," Jace told him.

As if in response Alec kept on gently hitting his prostate with every roll of his hips. Jace lost himself in the pleasure, in their connection. They were one. Alec's movement sped up but never lost their tenderness. Alec was worshipping him with his whole body and Jace spilled tears of love and joy. He was a mess, crying and shaking and Alec bent down to kiss the tears away. Jace sobbed and Alec only held his hands tighter.

"Let me make you come," Alec said in a calm, low voice.

Jace closed his eyes and focused on the ceaseless, gentle rubbing against his prostate. Alec flooded their bond with love and Jace let it wash over him again and again, losing himself in it. He was shaking with the need to come again and that's when the emotional floodgates of their bond broke.

Jace was swallowed by Alec's affection and love for him. It was overwhelming and Jace let his own emotions run free. His mind relaxed as his body tightened. His inner muscles were bow-taut when Alec hit his prostate again. At once he heavily clamped down on Alec before contracting uncontrollably. Pure pleasure shot from where Alec was still pressed against his prostate through his entire groin. It had his cock twitch and quiver as he shot hot white sperm all over his own and Alec's stomach. They were shouting each other's names and Alec was filling him too, shooting cum deep inside of him as his walls continued to clench around Alec. Alec rode it out, wave after wave.

In the end, Alec collapsed on top of him, and Jace lazily wrapped his arms around him, kissed his face. It took them a moment to come down from their high, the intensity of the moment slowly subsiding.

After a while, Alec got up and walked into the bathroom. Alec turned the water on, plastic clicked. The water kept running and soon Jace smelled the genial scent of milk and honey. Steam was coming through the half-open bathroom door. Alec came back out, he climbed onto the bed and cradled Jace in his arms.

"I'm running a bubble bath for us," he said in a soft, low voice, gently running a hand through Jace's hair.

"You're amazing," Jace sighed. He was tired and his body exhausted from the long night. A nice hot bath would be perfect to unwind, relax and help them sleep in a bit. Not to mention that they needed to get clean.

He followed Alec into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. The bathtub wasn't huge but big enough for the two of them. Warm water was steaming, already fogging up the bathroom mirror.

Alec dipped his hand into the water to check the temperature. It seemed to be just right and Jace watched him turn off the tab and climb into the bathtub. He sat back and motioned for Jace to come join him.

Jace stepped into the tub, warm water and the sweet scent of the bubbles surrounding him. He lowered himself between Alec's leg and sank back against Alec's chest. Alec pulled up his knees a little to give him space to settle in properly and then wrapped his arms around him. Jace placed his arms on top of Alec's, still trying to get as much skin to skin contact as possible. Warm lips kissed his neck and then Jace rested his head on Alec's shoulder.

"I've never taken a bath with anyone," Jace said after a while.

"No?" Alec asked quietly.

"Certainly not when I was a kid," Jace said and trembled slightly thinking about the first ten, rough years of his life. It only made Alec hold him tighter. "And I never did it with anyone before I was with you so. So yeah, this is a first for me."

Alec placed another kiss on his cheek and said, "Then let me make this special. Let me take care of you."

Alec untangled his arms and reached over to grab a washcloth from the little hook between the tub and the sink. He dipped it in the water and then gently washed Jace with it. Jace relaxed into it, feeling the cloth rub over his neck, his shoulders, back and chest. The caresses made him sigh with content.

Then Alec proceeded to wash his hair, too. He turned on the shower head to soak Jace's hair in water, then opened a shampoo bottle and slowly massaged shampoo into Jace's hair.

"You're so beautiful," Alec said softly as he kneaded Jace's hair. "I love taking care of you."

Jace hummed happily and Alec took the shower head to rinse Jace's hair.

They stayed in there for a few more minutes, silently taking in the moment. When they climbed out of the bathtub Alec grabbed one of the big fluffy towels, wrapped it around Jace and dried him with it.

While Alec dried himself off Jace used the hair drier for a minute. They watched each other do all the while and Jace couldn't help himself but smile. Being with Alec was all he wanted, all he needed.

Soon they climbed back into bed, not bothering or wanting to put any clothes on. Jace wrapped them in the white duvet and placed a kiss on Alec's temple.

"We need to figure out how in the world we're going to pull this off," Alec said.

"Tomorrow," Jace said softly. "It's late, we're exhausted and haven't slept. We'll come up with a plan tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow," Alec said and kissed Jace's cheek.

Jace snuggled up to Alec and listened to his breath as they both slowly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine you're in Jace and Alec's position - what would your escape plan look like? Let me know in the comments! (I've already written the remaining 4 chapters of this story but I'm super curious as to what other people would do in this situation)


	9. We Stole Our New Lives, Through Blood And Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Kings & Queens" by Thirty Seconds To Mars

Alec was slightly disoriented when he woke up. He felt Jace's quiet presence next to him and he smiled. Then reality hit him like a punch to the gut.

He sat straight up in bed, ran his hands over his face. They were going to run, they really were.

"Alec?" Jace said alarmed as he sat up just as quickly. He put a hand on Alec's shoulder, it calmed Alec. He would have to keep his cool if they wanted to pull this off.

"It's okay," Alec hummed quietly and gently petted Jace's head, then leaned in to kiss his lips, but his mind was going a thousand miles an hour.

Jace, of course, noticed. "Hey," he said, "we're in this together. We'll work it out."

"I just honestly don't know how," Alec said. "How do we hide from an organisation as big and as powerful as the Clave? And where?"

"One thing that will help us is that they cannot track us over water, it's impossible, even if they enlist the help of a warlock. Like when Valentine had me on his ship. It was impossible," Jace said.

"Don't remind me of that," Alec sighed and took Jace's hand in his. "But you are right, that is something we need to use to our advantage, get on board a ship or something."

"Board a ship, go to an island, whatever works, we just need to get ourselves sorted out as soon as possible, while we still have time," Jace said.

They were jerked out of their conversation when Alec's phone blared it’s ring tone. He picked up his pants from where they had landed the night before and pulled out his phone. Maryse was calling.

"Hey mum," Alec said as he picked up, "you're still in Idris?"

"Yes," Maryse said. "Are you alone?"

"I'm with Jace," Alec told her, putting an arm around his parabatai.

"Put the phone on speaker," she said and Alec did. "Hello Jace. I have some unpleasant news. In light of the coup in Idris, the Clave has reopened its investigation of former Circle members."

"I don’t understand, this makes no sense. You had nothing to do with any of this!" Alec said.

"Based on a review of my actions in the Circle, the Clave has reclassified me a traitor," Maryse replied.

"What? This can't be right, they can't just turn around more than two decades down the line and change their mind," Alec gasped.

"Unfortunately so," Maryse said. "They're stripping me of my runes. I wish I could have told you this in person but it's all going to happen today while I'm still in Idris."

"Today?" Alec asked, not trusting his ears. "This is completely unjust, you've given your life to the Clave! You have done everything possible to make up for what happened twenty years ago. This is total hypocrisy. What about all the other former Circle members? Do they keep their positions? What about Dad?"

"Your father was assigned to the LA Institute as part of a deal," Maryse explained.

"That is exactly my point! He gets a slap on the wrist, not deruned!" Alec almost yelled.

He couldn't believe it, his mother didn't deserve this. The Clave just changed their mind overnight and decided to ruin his mother's life. It wasn't enough that her husband, his father, was cheating on her, no the organisation she had given everything to turned around and stabbed her in the back. It was an injustice of egregious proportions.

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is," Maryse said. "My punishment is more severe because my crimes were too. Back in the days of the Circle, I was convinced Valentine was doing the right thing and I recruited many good people, including your father. And together with Valentine, I was a leading figure of the uprising."

"But you got out," Jace said. "That has to count for something. You abandoned Valentine."

"Only after I knew we were doomed," Maryse confessed. "Until then the Clave was my worst enemy. After the tables turned I vowed to devote the rest of my life to the Clave. I am just as much of a hypocrite, the charges against me are just."

Alec wanted to say so much, that he would fight for her, that he would try and make this right. But how could he do that?

"But this is not even the main reason why I am calling," Maryse continued.

"There's more bad news, isn't there," Alec said. It wasn't even a questions.

"Alec, there is a storm coming your way," Maryse said. "The Clave has named Jia Penhallow interim consul. And what I am about to tell you is highly confidential information neither I nor you are not supposed to know. But I overheard something here in Idris. The Clave is planning to blindside you with a visit. As her first act in office Jia is coming to New York. Tomorrow."

"What? Why would the consul be coming to New York?" Alec asked.

"The official version of the story is that it's because of the tremendous damage that wraith demon did in New York," Maryse explained. "The Clave says the attack wasn't handled very well and wants to open an investigation."

Alec and Jace exchanged worried looks. So the news of that unfortunate encounter had travelled all the way to Idris.

"All of Idris is talking about it," Maryse said, confirming their worst fears. "The council was rather upset that it wasn't dealt with before the demon caused so much damage to the mundane world that it was difficult to cover it up. And, of course, Jia wants to collect the soul sword. But such a visit would normally be announced. And Jia is not coming alone, she is coming with Inquisitor Herondale, whose job this would normally be, but Jia doesn't trust the inquisitor to do the job that needs to be done. Apparently she is 'too close to the issue at hand'. That means you, Jace. Jia is also bringing Lydia as the new interim head of the Institute. They are going to remove you from your office, Alec, they clearly don't trust either of you anymore."

Alec started to shake. If he had been worried before that the Clave suspected, he was now certain. They were sending their highest government officials and most trusted representatives to deal with the issue, to deal with them.

"There is more that is said between closed doors in Idris," Maryse continued. "There are people in Idris who believe that you have committed eros. That is the real reason why the Clave wants to pay a surprise visit to New York and sends their highest ranking and most trusted officials."

For a moment it was dead silent except for the deafening sound of their pounding hearts. The Clave had figured it out, of course, they had. Alec said nothing. He was too mortified by the fact that his mother had figured out that he was sleeping with his adoptive brother. He was unable to speak.

"Alec and I are going to run," Jace said. "We already decided last night."

"Then I will help you," Maryse said.

"No!" Alec exclaimed. "You are in enough trouble as is. Don't do this."

When he and Jace had decided to run Alec had never wanted to drag anyone else down into this dangerous mess with them, he didn't want his mother to take the risk of getting involved. Not even at this point. He didn't like it. Even if he and Jace successfully ran, the Clave could still try and get information out of his mother.

"It's too late for me, Alec, the Clave already thinks that I am a traitor," Maryse said. "I might as well prove them right. Let me save my boys."

Alec signed.

"Do you know how you are going to do it?" Maryse asked.

"No," Alec said. "The one thought we had was to escape over water so that we can't be tracked. But we don't have a plan in place. We can't ask anyone for help because once Jia comes to New York she will start interrogating people with the soul sword. We don't have the mundane money either to pull it off, or mundane travel documents for that matter."

"I have a contact, someone powerful who can help you," Maryse said. "His name is Diovis Foudre, High Warlock of Geneva. I met him over a decade ago when Robert and I were on a special mission in Switzerland. He has been at odds with the Clave for centuries and keeps Geneva permanently under magical lockdown with mighty wards. No Nephilim passes through them, similar to the wards Magnus erected around New York recently when Valentine was on the loose."

"Why would he help us?" Jace asked. "We clearly wouldn't be welcome in Geneva."

"Yes, you would be," Maryse said. "As I said, Diovis Foudre loathes the Clave. The reason why we met with him was that the Clave suspected him of hiding nephilim fugitives in Geneva. Criminals. We didn't even meet him in Geneva but outside in a nearby town. He only agreed to talk to Robert and I because he thought as ex-Circle members we might switch sides. The Clave certainly didn't want us to talk to him, but he refused to speak to any loyal members of the Clave, so, in the end, the Clave had no choice but to send us. There was even a rumour that Diovis had assisted two parabatai that were committing eros. He will lower the wards for you."

"Why would he help parabatai committing eros?" Jace asked. "And why don't we know about a warlock doing this kind of stuff?"

"He would help because 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'," Maryse said. "And of course it's something the Clave doesn't want to be talked about, they don't want Geneva to be overrun by defectors and I'm sure Diovis Foudre himself wants to keep a low profile. He won't go around and advertise what he's doing, if he goes too far the Clave might enlist other warlocks to try and break down his wards."

"How do we get to him?" Alec asked. "And what about you? You won't be save from demon attacks once you are deruned."

"I will be deruned in a few hours already," Maryse said. "Once it’s done I will make my way to Geneva, it's not far from Idris. Diovis will protect me if I come as a deruned Shadowhunter, a mundane. Once I am in Geneva and safe I will call you. You stay in New York until then, don't do anything before then. Make preparations but don't let anyone get suspicious, I need to be out of their reach when the Clave finds out that you are on the run."

"As a mundane they won't be able to use the soul sword on you anymore - but they can still try to get information out of you, those soulless shits," Jace said. Alec knew exactly what Jace was implying.

"That's right," Maryse said. "And I want you to be safe, both of you. So lie low until you hear from me."

"We love you, mum," Alec said.

"Don't tell anyone about this," Maryse said, "not even your sister. She can't know where you're going or the Clave will use the soul sword to make her talk. Or worse, she will throw everything away and follow us into exile. We can't let that happen, I wouldn't want that for her. I will call her tomorrow myself and tell her about my deruning."

And with that Maryse hung up.

***

Alec was sitting at his desk in his office when his phone finally rang again. He was hoping it was his mother calling. But it wasn't, it was Isabelle. He picked up.

"A-Alec …," he heard a sob.

"Izzy?" he asked, alarmed. "What's going on?"

"Alec … it's-it's about mum," Isabelle said. She was crying.

"Did she call you?" Alec asked. "I just found out myself that they are deruning her. She …"

"Deruning?" Isabelle almost screamed into the telephone. "Alec, she … she is d-dead. Mum is dead."

For a moment Alec's world stopped turning. It was suddenly so cold in his office. His hand holding the phone was strangely numb.

"What? No. No, this can't be right. I just spoke to her a few hours ago," he said. This had to be a misunderstanding. His head was spinning.

Isabelle continued to cry into the phone.

"Who told you?" Alec asked her.

"I-Idris called. Some … o-official," she sobbed. "Th-they asked me to inform you too."

Right then Jace came bursting through the door, he must have felt Alec's emotional turmoil.

"What's going on?" Jace asked, confusion and worry written all over his face.

It was only then that Alec realised that he was crying, too.

"What happened? Are you sure? How?" Alec asked Isabelle.

"It was … s-suicide," Isabelle said.

"WHAT?"

A thousand thoughts ran through Alec's head. What had happened in Idris? What had driven his mother to do this? It seemed impossible, he needed to speak to Isabelle in person, clear this up. Maybe she had misunderstood. But he knew that she hadn't, of course not. Then he realised that he hadn't seen Isabelle since yesterday at the party at the Hunter's Moon.

"Where are you?" Alec asked.

"I'm at Magnus's place," Isabelle replied.

"Magnus?" Alec asked confused.

"Yes," Isabelle replied. "It-It's a long story and it doesn't matter right now."

"Stay where you are," he told Isabelle. "Jace and I are coming over."

"Okay," Isabelle sobbed into the phone. Then there was a long pause before she added, "Magnus knows about you and Jace. He knows it all. B-But please don't worry about it, it's fine."

***

Alec was full of grief, disbelieve, hopelessness. And guilt. Jace was visibly shaken by the news too, Maryse had been the only mother Jace had ever known.

"Do you think it was really suicide?" Jace asked as they approached Magnus's apartment building. "It makes no sense. Maryse had accepted the deruning, she was going to help us, she had a reason to live."

"We can't know for sure," Alec said, barely holding back tears. "But the Clave would have made it an official … execution. If they had wanted to kill her. They would have just make it official. I suspect that someone found out about the phone call she made to us. They were going to make her talk. And mum knew they would succeed, eventually, soul sword or not. In the end, she would have broken and told them about the plan to escape to Geneva."

"So she killed herself to protect us," Jace stated soberly.

"That's what I think," Alec said darkly.

They stepped into Magnus's apartment building and took the stairs. Alec didn't like the fact that Magnus knew that he was now with Jace. Seeing Magnus should have felt awkward but Alec was so preoccupied with grief and confusion that he had little headspace to worry about his ex-boyfriend. Nevertheless, Alec dreaded facing him. He didn't understand why Isabelle would have told Magnus more than he already knew, it pained him how Magnus had had to find out that he was now with Jace.

When they knocked on Magnus's door it was Isabelle who opened it. Her mascara was smudged, her hair messy and she was wearing last night's dress. How long had she been here? Alec hugged her tightly and they were both crying again. They stayed like this for a minute, then he let go and Jace took Isabelle in his arms and hugged her just as fiercely. As Alec walked into the apartment Magnus come into view, wearing in his bathrobe. Isabelle let Jace go and closed the door.

"I'm so sorry," Magnus said and gave both Jace and Alec and gentle hug. It was confusing and comforting but at least not awkward.

"Take a seat while I get you something to drink," Magnus said, gesturing at the living room.

Alec and Jace sat down in the arms chairs opposite Magnus's couch where Isabelle sat down. There was a safe distance between the armchairs, Alec didn't want to rub into Magnus's face how close he and Jace really were, even if Magnus knew about them.

Magnus came back and to Alec's surprise, handed each of them steaming mugs of tea instead of alcohol.

"It's better to keep a clear head in these situations," Magnus said as he sat down next to Isabelle.

She looked just as miserable as Alec felt and Magnus put a gentle hand on her shoulder. He looked from Isabelle to Magnus and back to Isabelle. Were they? That's when Isabelle caught his look.

"Yes," she answered his unspoken question. "Magnus and I, sorry I didn't tell you, it's just all rather new." She smiled a sad smile at Magnus. "But I don't think anyone has the stomach to talk about that now."

"What did the Clave say on the phone?" Alec asked to change topic.

"Not much," Isabelle replied. "But the Clave will send someone to bring mum's body tomorrow so that we can mourn her properly. I just don't understand why she would do this to herself. To us!"

"She called us earlier today," Jace confessed. "They were going to derune her."

"Those bastards," Isabelle spat. "Is that why she … why she …?"

"We don't think so," Jace said. "Because when Maryse called she also told us something else."

"She said that the Clave found out about us," Alec said, gesturing between himself and Jace. "All the little hints must have given us away, the earthquakes, the explosion of light, how we killed Sebastian and that wraith demon. They finally put two and two together."

He felt himself burn hot with shame. This was all his fault. He couldn't look at any of them. Thanks to his uncontrollable feelings for Jace he had destroyed all of them. Magnus already hated him and now Isabelle would too, and rightfully so. He was responsible for this.

"The Clave was going to surprise us with a visit tomorrow," Jace explained. "And an investigation. Jia Penhallow is the new interim consul and she is going to arrive tomorrow along with Imogen and Lydia. They want to retrieve the soul sword and use it on us."

"Jace, your grandmother would never do that, not to you," Isabelle said.

"Maybe, maybe not," Jace said. "But if she refused Jia would do it, it was going to happen. Maryse found out and warned us, she had an escape plan for us. Our guess is that the Clave somehow found out and Maryse knew they were going to make her talk, one way or another, so she made sure she wouldn't talk." Jace sounded bitter. "This is all my fault," he added.

Isabelle got up from her seat, face hard, and walked over to Jace. Alec was worried she was going to slap him but instread she leaned in and hugged him.

"No," she said. "This is not your fault. Not yours, and not Alec's. You said they were going to derune her. This is all the Clave's doing. I don't care whether mum did it because she would have been too humiliated to live as a mundane or because she wanted to protect you or for both reasons. But it is all the Clave's fault."

"You need to honour your mother, Alec," Magnus said and Alec looked across to him, looking him in the eye for the first time. "If what your saying is true then she had a plan to protect you and she died to make sure it would work, so follow through."

"You two need to leave before Jia and her entourage get to New York," Isabelle said. "Just don't tell anyone where you are going and your secret will be safe."

Alec got up and joined Jace and Isabelle in their hug, they cried and hugged for a long time. Part of Alec was still in denial, his mother couldn't be dead. It was hard to comprehend. There must have been another way. But there hadn't been, not one that wouldn't get them all deruned. His mother had wanted to spare them that pain, and if she had wanted them to get away so much that she was prepared to die for their plan, then he had no choice but to follow through, even if it meant saying goodbye to his sister.

It was incredible what mothers were prepared to do for their children. But Alec understood. He would do anything to protect Jace. Anything.

***

"I'm so sorry about your mother," Magnus said.

Alec was standing on the balcony of Magnus's apartment with him, taking a moment alone. Alec nodded and they stayed silent for a minute. Then he said, "Magnus, I am sorry about what I did to you, I never intended for you to get hurt. You didn't deserve what I did to you."

"Don't apologize," Magnus said. "We can't control who we love."

"And I should have told you about the soul sword," Alec said.

Magnus shrugged and gave him a little smile. "That's in the past."

"To be honest," Alec said, "I was surprised to see you and Isabelle, I didn't expect that, but if you and my sister are happy, then I'm happy too."

"But you are wondering, aren't you? How Isabelle and I got together?" Magnus said.

"It's really not my place," Alec replied.

"You know Isabelle came to me when she took over warlock relations," Magnus said nonetheless. "At the same time, she was still battling her Yin Fen addiction. I tried to support her, help her, and in the process, we got closer."

"Honestly," Alec said, "I'm glad she is with you, somebody I trust, somebody who means a lot to me. You do still mean a lot to me, Magnus and I want you to be happy."

"And I want you to be happy, Alexander," Magnus replied. "And if you are happy with Jace than I am happy for you."

A warm friendly feeling hung between them.

"I'm glad things are okay between us again," Alec said. "I didn't like being at odds with you."

"Me neither. I'm glad too. We just had a bit of a shock moment when we found out that you were dating the wrong man," Magnus said with a smile. "And maybe again when I discovered that I had been dating the wrong Lightwood sibling."

Alec couldn't help himself and laugh at that, his sadness forgotten for a precious moment.

"When Jace and I are gone - be there for her, please," Alec said. "Just because Jace and I are giving up our lives in New York, our careers, our family and friends, doesn't mean she should too. I'm glad she has you and you're giving her a reason to stay, I don't know if she would otherwise. It was my mother's wish, too. In fact, it was the last thing she said to me."

"I promise I’ll stay by her side," Magnus said.

***

Alec was going to honour his mother, so he pulled himself together and went back to the Institute with Jace. Their mother had died for their freedom and he'd be damned if he didn't follow through with the plan now. He had to.

Back at the Institute Alec proceeded to look through the many digital files the Clave had on rogue warlocks. He could have gone straight to the information on Diovis Foudre but he wanted to be sure he covered his tracks well in case anyone ever checked what he had looked up before he and Jace disappeared.

He found the contact details he was looking for easily enough but kept looking around at other files including rogue vampires and werewolves across the US, ley lines throughout New York and various entrances to the Seelie world. He had Jace look up his own set of bizarre topics. It would create enough confusion for anyone who looked at the security footage or the history of files pulled up.

In the end, Alec called Diovis Foudre from a small park in Manhattan while Jace was circling the perimeter to ensure no Downworlder or Shadowhunter came close enough to overhear the conversation.

"Who is this?" a deep, stern voice answered the phone.

"I am Alec Lightwood from the New York Institute."

"What do you want?" came the answer.

"We need your help. We-"

"Why would I help you?"

"My mother instructed me and my parabatai to seek your help and died to protect that plan," Alec said. His case didn't sound convincing to his own ears. The long pause at the other end of the line was deafening.

"You and your parabatai, you have completed your bond? 'Committed eros' as the Clave calls it?" Diovis finally asked.

Alec's hope flared up. "Yes," he said.

"Does the Clave know?" Diovis asked. He suddenly sounded a lot friendlier and indeed very concerned, all harshness gone from his voice.

"They figured it out. The consul, the inquisitor and a new interim head of the Institute are scheduled to arrive in New York tomorrow. I'm obviously not supposed to know about this but my mother found out before she died," Alec explained.

"I am going to make arrangements for your escape and passage to Geneva," Diovis said. "There are wards around my city that will vaporise any Nephilim trying to pass through - except parabatai with a completed bond. The wards are strong, so strong the city and the surrounding area cannot even be portaled in and out of. Come to Geneva and you will be safe."

Alec was shaking. His mother had given her life for his happiness and whatever hope she had placed in Diovis, she had been right about him. A 'thank you' came out of Alec like a sign of relieve. "We'll pay you however you want to be paid."

"There's no need for payment," Diovis replied. "I will instruct my contacts in New York to prepare your departure. They are quick but it will take until tomorrow morning. Will you be safe until then?"

"Yes."

"I will call you back later once things are on their way over there. I got to go, it'll be a busy day," Diovis said and with that, the line went dead.

***

Alec was nothing but relieved when Diovis finally called him back in the evening, he had been agitated the whole day. What he and Jace were about to do was dangerous and he had no doubt that the world would be swarming with Shadowhunters looking for them the minute it became apparent that they were on the run. Diovis instructed Alec when and where to meet a courier the next morning, ready to run.

Saying goodbye to Isabelle was hard. They did it in the evening in the secrecy of Isabelle's bedroom. The news of Maryse' death had spread quickly through the Institute and to everyone else they were just three grieving siblings.

"I hate losing both you and mum the same day," Alec said as he and Jace both held Isabelle close.

"You're … you're not losing me," Isabelle choked on her tears. "We will see each other again. One day."

Alec nodded. "When enough time has passed, things will settle down. It might be a long time, but eventually, the Clave will stop looking if they hear nothing from us. Then we'll let you know where we are. We can meet again."

"You're saying goodbye to Clary?" Isabelle asked Jace.

"No," he said, "the less she knows, the better for her. It will only worsen her standing with the Clave once they start asking her questions. It's better if she doesn't know we ran."

"They are going to use the soul sword on you," Alec said to Isabelle.

"We could steal it and take it with us," Jace suggested.

"No," Isabelle said. "I would rather be asked a few questions holding the soul sword than endure their other interrogation methods. Leave it here."

"Isabelle," Alec said, "when they start asking questions, you need to confess straight away. Tell them everything you know, even before they start using the soul sword. It will strengthen your position. You can be the rueful sister, the grieving daughter and avoid punishment. Just cooperate, establish yourself as an ally. Help them hunt us down if you have to."

"What?" Isabelle asked, untangling herself from them to look at Alec.

"I want you to do everything you need to do to avoid punishment," Alec said. "I need you to be happy. Mum would have wanted that, she said so. So cooperate. And go on to live your life happily."

Isabelle took a deep breath and nodded.

***

Alec felt strange leaving the Institute for good. He had spent his entire life there. It was painful to leave it all behind, especially Isabelle. He hadn't said goodbye to anyone else, worried he would drag others into his mess.

Alec had done everything in order to keep the appearance of normality. He had left a decent amount of work on his desk in the evening. There were reports left open and notes strewn on his desk. As if he intended to finish these things the next day or whenever the mourning head of the New York Institute was returning to normal duty.

It was still early when Alec signed himself and Jace out for a routine mission. It would look like a diversion from their grief if anyone were to look at it. A standard, easy mission. A mission they weren't going on, a mission they would never return from.

They took nothing but their weapons and their phones. Two seraph blades and a dagger each, bow and quiver for Alec, two axes for Jace. No personal items whatsoever. Hopefully, this would buy them the most time.

They stepped outside the Institute and Alec threw one last glance at the building he had called home his entire life. This is where he and his family had lived, a family that would now be torn apart and spread between New York, Geneva, Los Angeles and death.

His priority now was Jace. Getting Jace out of this situation and to safety took precedence over everything else, there was no time to be melancholic and he pushed his grief aside too.

Once they were far enough from the Institute Alec pulled out his stele to activate Jace's blocking rune. Jace gave him a questioning look.

"It'll be stronger if I do it for you," Alec explained as he redrew the rune on Jace's arm.

Jace activated Alec's rune at will. They kept their weapons glamoured but de-glamoured themselves. And then they were on their way.  

Soon enough they arrived in a inconspicuous alleyway in Harlem where they were meant to meet Diovis' contact. Alec saw a young mundane man waiting for them. He had two daypacks and two suitcases with him.

"Good to see you Mr and Mr Freewater," the man said, using the agreed code.

"Lovely day for a trip," Jace replied in kind.

The mundane smiled. "You can call me Johnny," he said. "And as agreed," Johnny continued, opening one of the backpacks, "the passports. One American, one Swiss, one Australian, just in case. These are real, genuine passports, possibly obtained with less than genuine documents. You won't have any problems at border crossings."

He passed them to Alec to take a look. 'Alexus Freewater' it said on the data page. He looked through the passports, the biographical information on all of them was the same. 'Place of birth: Switzerland' they read. Well, he was born in Idris. Close enough.

"How did you get these so quickly?" Alec asked.

"Hey," Johnny replied as he handed Jace his stack of passports, "I don't ask questions, you don't ask questions."

"Jacob Freewater," Jace read out loud as he looked through his American passport. "Well I guess I've had so many last names, one more won't hurt. You should get used to it too, Alec," he smirked as they put their passports back in the bags.

"Each of you also gets cash in four currencies," Johnny continued as he proceeded to show them the contents of the backpacks, "2000 US dollars, 2000 British pounds, 3000 Euros and 3000 Swiss Francs."

They inspected the money. It looked fine.

"Your marriage certificate," Johnny showed them, "and your rings." He held up a little plastic bag with two golden rings. "You should probably wear those," he added.

"The marriage certificate is real, too?" Alec asked.

"Yup," Johnny replied. "It's from the Office of the City Clerk. It's the real deal, obtained in a questionable way if you will. Unless either of you ever challenges the documents you can consider yourselves legally married."

The marriage certificate showed this year's anniversary of their parabatai ceremony as their wedding date.

"Oh, this is perfect," Jace said as he realised it too.

Alec had never thought about marrying Jace. Being parabatai meant so much more. But during their second phone call, Diovis had insisted that it might be an advantage in the mundane world for them.

Alec and Jace exchange rings and then Jace surged forward to kiss Alec on the lips.

"Well, I guess, I now pronounce you husband and husband. Congratulations," Johnny said and Alec couldn't even tell if he was being serious or not.

"There is also a spare phone in each bag," Johnny said as he showed them. "They already have each other's number saved. The phones come with dual SIM cards, one EU, one Swiss each."  

He put it them back in the bags and pulled out two sealed envelopes. "And these are your tickets," Johnny said, "for your eyes only, so in case somebody ever asks me where you went, I have no clue. And everything else you might need - clothes, toiletries and so on, is in those two suitcases. That's all."

He smiled at them and without another word, he walked off and disappeared around the next corner.

They opened the envelopes. They contained tickets for the MS Atlantica cruise ship leaving from the Manhattan Cruise Terminal today for a seven-day journey to Southampton, United Kingdom.

"This is perfect," Jace said. "We’re going to be over water. For a week. They are never going to find us."

They walked back to the main street and hailed a cab to take them to the cruise terminal. It was a twenty-minute ride and again Alec felt strange as they went down familiar streets that he might never get to see again.

Soon enough they arrived at the terminal. It was weird to go through all the mundane procedures. They were made to wait for quite a while and Jace was already nervously moving around when they were finally able to check in. Alec was on edge at passport control when the mundane took a little longer to check their documents. But then she finally wished them a good trip and everything was fine. There was enough space left in the suitcases for them to hide their glamoured weapons and they got them through security without problems.  

They boarded the ship and checked into their oceanview cabin on deck four. It was a small but beautiful cabin, warm colours dominating the room, furnished with a gorgeous double bed, which just looked wonderfully comfortable, a small couch with a little coffee table and an Ottoman stool and there was even a small desk.

"I never thought I'd go on a cruise," Jace said as he closed their cabin door behind them.

They dropped their bags and arranged themselves in their cabin. It was good that they would have some space to themselves for the next week, they needed time to grieve, to process. And even amongst all the misery, Alec could only smile at the thought of waking up next to Jace every morning.

"I'm just so glad the plan is working out," Alec said as he moved over to Jace and took him in his arms.

Jace wrapped his arms around Alec in response, then went in for a kiss. It was a taste of the freedom they were about to experience.

But then Jace's phone rang and he pulled back retrieve it from his pocket.

"It's Clary," Jace said, uncertainty in his eyes.

"Pick up," Alec told him, "act normal. Say we're on a mission and back soon."

Jace nodded. "Hi Clary," he said as he picked up the call and put it on speaker.

"Oh Jace," Clary said, "I am so, so sorry. I was with Simon yesterday and only found out this morning."

"Thanks, Clary," Jace said.

"I would have normally told you in person, waited for you to come back, but we have a little bit of a situation at the Institute," she continued.

"What's going on?" Jace asked and Alec was glad that he managed to sound so natural when of course he knew what had to be happening back at the Institute.

"Well the Clave has just arrived with … with Maryse' casket," Clary said, "but that's not it. The new consul is there with a whole lot of other people. Imogen and Lydia are there as well, I don't think that's a good sign. Izzy is talking to them but they don't seem happy."

Alec didn't like how the conversation was going. They couldn't let Clary know or let her figure out what was happening.

"I'm on mission with Alec," Jace lied, "we'll be back at the Institute as soon as we finish up here."

"But they might have -"

"I have to go, Clary," Jace said. "Talk to you later." He hung up.

"Dammit," Alec cursed, "the ship is not leaving for few hours. If they find a capable warlock they might at least track us to the pier here."

"We don't know that," Jace said as he put his phone away. "Maybe our blocking runes can withstand it."

"I hope so," Alec replied as he crawled onto the bed. "Mum gave her life for our freedom, this needs to work out."

Jace followed him and Alec pulled him close and huddled his face against Jace's chest. Strong arms held him close and of course, he was crying again and so was Jace. How could a situation be so terrible and beautiful at the same time? He had lost his mother to the cruelty of the Clave and had left his family and friends behind for an uncertain future. Yet that uncertain future was a future that he could spend with Jace, the one person he loved more than anything in the world.

"I feel so guilty," Alec said.

"Me too," Jace said. "I wonder if we should have just confessed and agreed to a deruning. Maryse could still be alive."

"Maybe. Or maybe she wanted this, maybe she really didn't want to live as a mundane," Alec said.

"Or she didn't want our bond to be broken, she wanted to spare us the pain."

"We'll never know her true motives. What was really going on in her head when she decided to do it, what really happened in Idris," Alec said.

"We can only assume," Jace agreed.

Alec closed his eyes when he felt Jace's comforting hand running through his hair.

The minutes ticked by slowly and despite Jace's comfort Alec was getting increasingly nervous. How long would it take until Jia knew something was off? Had she already figured out that he and Jace were missing? Were they already looking for them? It was a matter of time.

***

Not much later Clary called again but they decided not to pick up this time. Whatever Jace would say to Clary, it would only put her in a more difficult position down the line. A minute later his phone rang again, the call screen told him it was Imogen.

"Maybe I can buy us some time," Jace said.

Alec nodded and Jace picked up.

"The search has started," Imogen said. "I wasn't able to delay it much. They were watching me closely in Idris, had stopped sharing information with me."

"Do you know what really happened to Maryse?" Jace asked.

"Somebody loyal to Jia found out that she tried to get information on rogue warlocks. With her impending deruning, it looked suspicious so they put her under house arrest. They were going to retrieve the soul sword to question her and Maryse did the one thing in her power to avoid that," Imogen said. "Please tell Alec that I am sorry."

"I will," Jace said.

"Be careful my boy," Imogen told him. "You have broken a delicate law and the Clave won't rest until they find you."

"You shouldn't be calling me," Jace said. "It's dangerous for you too."

"My days as the inquisitor are counted anyway. It won't be long before they appoint someone new, maybe the young and ambitious Horace Dearborn. Then I'll just be a worried grandmother," Imogen said.

"Do you know where they are looking for us?" Jace asked.

"I don't," Imogen said, "they stopped sharing information with me for good reason when it became apparent that you are on the run. But they are searching all of New York and soon enough they will be searching the whole world. Be safe."


	10. They're Not Gonna Get Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Not Gonna Get Us" by Tatu
> 
> You can find all songs used for chapter titles in this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr_WmRKcq4k&list=PLugqUpeScxBVBoNAs877O3fso6N72AOqw

It was a nerve-wracking wait. Jace breathed a sigh of relief when the ship finally left the harbour. Nobody would be able to track them now that they were over water. They were safe.

The journey to Southampton would take them a week. It was of course not long enough to get the Clave off their back entirely but since searching New York would prove in vain the Clave would assume they could be anywhere, complicating their search efforts.

One downside of travelling by sea was that their phones were not going to be working while crossing the Atlantic, there obviously weren't any cell towers in the middle of the ocean. Jace and Alec had no choice but to accept that they wouldn't hear any news of their families and friends until their ship arrived in England.

As the evening approached they put on smart clothes that they found in their suitcases and made their way to the ship's main restaurant. It was a beautiful room with neatly arranged tables with white table clothes and large glass windows offering wide views over the ocean.

A lot of the people here were older, in their sixties and up and so was the couple they shared their dinner table with. They introduced themselves as Richard and Linda.

"It's our first cruise," Linda told them excitedly.

"Ours as well," Alec said politely.

"Isn't it exciting?" Linda said as she gave her husband a big smile. "We're going to Europe for our 50 year wedding anniversary."

Jace felt brave. "We're on our honeymoon," he said.

"Oh Rick!" Linda exclaimed. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"Yes dear," Richard said, giving them a warm smile. "I wish I was as young as the two of you again and could climb a few mountains when we get to Europe."

"Oh I'm quite glad that is not going to happen," Linda laughed.

"So how did the two of you meet, if you don't mind me asking," Richard said.

"At work," Jace said promptly.

"Our employer is quite conservative and didn't take it too well when they heard we would be sharing a last name," Alec said.

"Which is why we quit and are now here," Jace added.

"Sad to hear how backward some people still are," Linda said. "But well, it’s  clearly their loss."

They kept chatting about Linda and Rick's grandchildren, the business they had owned before retirement and an awful lot of mundane politics that Jace and Alec knew little about. Jace didn't mind to let the elderly couple talk, that way he and Alec didn't need to tell them much about themselves or reveal their lack of knowledge about the things that kept the minds of mundanes occupied. It did make him realise nonetheless that it would be good for their new lives to learn more about all things mundane.

They were served an opulent four-course meal: salmon tartare followed by stuffed lobster tail, creme brulee for dessert and a cheese plate to finish. It was delicious and Jace wasn't sure when he had eaten this well last.

The waiter had just cleared the table when Linda said, "Rick and I are going to go to the ballroom in a little while for some dancing, you two should come along."

Jace considered it for a moment but he felt unease coming over from Alec. It wasn't the right day for dancing and Jace let her down gently.

No, Alec and he needed something else tonight. They excused themselves and got changed in their cabin before they hit the on-deck exercise area. It was quiet and few people were around. It wasn't quite like the Institute but still good enough to get some hand to hand sparring in. Weapons weren't an option for obvious reasons, no need to scare the mundanes.

Abusing punching bags and sparring with each other had always been their favourite ways of stress relief, it helped them deal with their emotions. And right now, they had too many of those. So they went hard, for a long time. They put all their frustration with the Clave, their grief for Maryse and their fear of getting caught before reaching Geneva into it.

They were aggressive. Alec threw hard punches and kicks and Jace let him, blocking every attack with ease. He knew Alec needed to blow off steam. He fought back just as hard and it was glorious. Going hard and fast took the edge off and then they toned it down a little for the benefit of the mundanes around them.

Jace and Alec still got looks, of course, and some of them lingered a little too long on their bodies, but Jace was used to it and mostly ignored it. Alec seemed totally oblivious to it and Jace wondered, if Alec was not aware of how utterly attractive he was.

As they continued to spar they got in tune more than ever, just as aware of the other's body as they were of their own. Like two dancers they moved in perfect harmony. For every step that Alec took forward, Jace moved one back, for every punch Jace threw Alec had a flawless defence. Heartbeat matched heartbeat, breath matched breath. They exhausted themselves until they had nothing left to give.

In the end, Jace deliberately let himself get knocked off his feet and Alec toppled on top of him as they hit the ground together. They stayed like that for a moment, catching their breath. Jace didn't particularly mind Alec's weight resting on him.

"Had enough?" he asked.

"Not of you," Alec said and stole a kiss before he got back up on his feet and lent Jace a hand. It was nice to not have to worry about the Clave watching their every move.

They headed back down to their cabin and as Jace locked the door a calmness came over him. He appreciated the little room he and Alec had to themselves. Nobody would disturb them here, nobody would ask questions. It was their own private bubble.

Jace was tired and sweaty from sparring. They helped each other out of their clothes. The shower in the tiny bathroom was definitely too small for two grown men, but that didn't mean they didn't squeeze in together regardless. It was tight.

"Don't drop the soap," Alec said, "there is no way we're getting it back while both of us are in here."

Jace laughed.

They washed each other carefully, soaping up every bit of skin. Alec moved into his every touch and Jace knew he was doing the same, the close quarters didn't give them much choice anyway. They kissed under the steaming water of the shower head. Skin pressed against skin, from their tangled legs to their locked lips.

When they finally left the shower Jace took one of the fluffy white towels and draped it over Alec, gently patting him dry before he wrapped himself in a towel.

Back in the bedroom, Jace turned all the lights off but one dim bedside lamp while Alec climbed into bed.

"Lie on your stomach," Jace told him.

Alec gave him a tired smile and rolled over. Jace climbed on top of him and came to sit on his bottom. He ran his fingers over Alec's back in a slow feather-light movement. Alec sighed. Jace started massaging his back, kneading tired muscles and gently loosening up all those tense spots. Alec melted under his hands, softly sighing and humming whenever Jace's touch was especially genial.

"You're so good to me," Alec said quietly.

"I better be, now that you've left everyone you love and everything you ever wanted behind," Jace said as he continued to rub Alec's back.

"Not everyone," Alec said and reached down to stroke Jace's thigh.

"Well, I better make sure I'm worth it," Jace said. He was a little self-conscious, deep down. He was used to burying his insecurities in cockiness but Alec always saw through him. So why try.

"I love you Jace, you are everything to me," Alec said.

"Love you too," Jace replied and bent down to kiss Alec's back.

"Come here," Alec said and lifted an arm in an invitation for Jace.

Jace followed happily and slid off of Alec and into his embrace. Alec smelled clean and a little of the orange blossom soap they had used. And he smelled like Alec, too, which was definitely Jace's favourite scent.

Jace pulled the covers over them and snuggled up to his parabatai. He ran a hand through Alec's hair, down his neck and over his back.

As he kept caressing Alec's skin there was uncertainty coming through the bond. Jace tilted his head up to kiss Alec. He loved the feeling of Alec's full lips against his own, it still sent shivers down his spine every single time.

But there was something Alec wasn't sure about. Jace slowly pulled back to search Alec's eyes.

"Talk to me babe," Jace said.

Alec flushed. "My body wants to have sex," he said and looked away, "but with all that has happened, I don't know if it's right, if my heart and head want it. Not because of you, never, but because of all the bad things that happened. I feel guilty."

"I know," Jace said, pulling him closer, "I feel bad too. But you deserve to be happy, Alec, and I'm here for you. Whether you just want me to hold you or your body needs more, you know I won't judge you."

He kissed Alec again, slow and gentle. Lips slid against each other until Alec parted his. Jace let his tongue slip in, gently nudging Alec's. His hands roamed Alec's body and Alec pressed closer. The need for closeness, for connection, flooded their bond from both sides. Jace wanted to help Alec take his mind off things, make him feel good, loved.

He rolled them over and moved onto Alec as they continued to kiss lazily. They were tired, so Jace activated their stamina runes. With that, he felt Alec's lips curl into a little smile against his own as the power of the rune added to the strength they drew from their bond.

Jace's lips left Alec's as he moved South. He loved going down on Alec. As he went lower he ran his hand over Alec's parabatai rune causing Alec to moan. He only got louder when Jace bent down to place an open-mouthed kiss on it, then he ran his tongue over it and Alec shuddered. It was beautiful.

Jace moved down further, bypassing Alec's hardening cock, his balls and kissed his inner thigh. Then Jace came back up to grab one of the pillows. Alec's face was flushed and he had loosely draped an arm over his eyes. Of course, Alec knew what was coming and lifted his hips automatically for Jace to place the pillow under him.

But when Jace went deep down to place a kiss against his puckered entrance he still felt him tremble. It only got worse when he let his tongue slide out and flick against the little bud. All he wanted was for Alec to feel good, feel accepted. And so Jace let his tongue glide over his entrance, again and again, licking and circling it all the while turning Alec into a molten mess.

His hands held Alec's buttocks apart as let the tip of his tongue push against and into the tight ring of muscle. He was rewarded with a suppressed groan and it only encouraged him to push deeper. All he wanted was to let Alec know how much he loved him, so he touched him in this most intimate of ways to make him feel the pleasure he deserved.

There was nothing he wouldn't do for Alec.

He kept moving his tongue inside of Alec, massaging the soft tight walls that did nothing but throb around him. Alec was whimpering and Jace knew he was making him feel better than Alec thought he deserved. But Alec did deserve everything that was good and Jace kept going, slow and sensual.

After a while, he pulled away to grab the lube. He squeezed a little onto his fingertips and warmed it a bit by rubbing them with his thumb before he coated his fingers. He placed the tip of his index finger at Alec's entrance and then watched Alec's face turn into an image of pleasure when he slowly pushed inside of him.

Jace moved his finger in and out and in circles. Alec bit his lower lip when he added a second one and pushed both inside. Jace kept going deeper and then when he knew his fingers were in perfect position he stopped. He curled them and ever so slightly pushed them up. Alec moaned and his breathing went heavy. Jace had hit gold. He pulled his fingers back a little and scissored them a few times to stretch Alec, opening him up.

Pre-cum beaded at the slit of Alec's cock and Jace bent down to lap it. Alec was trembling uncontrollably now and Jace used one hand to hold him down while the other was still working him open.

"You're gorgeous," he said and then he couldn't resist the temptation and licked along the thick vein on the underside of Alec's cock. He moved deliberately slow from the bottom up until he reached the head of Alec's cock.

"Jace …" Alec sighed as waves of lust and love crashed through the bond.

Jace let his fingers slide deeper again as he took Alec in his mouth, sliding all the way down. His lips were a tight seal and his tongue massaged Alec all the while Jace's fingers started to rub sweet circles around Alec's prostate.

Alec was making beautiful sounds and their bond told Jace how good exactly Alec felt. His own need only grew with every lick, with every little movement of his fingers and he reached a point where he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He pulled away from Alec and slid his fingers out, lubed himself up and then came to hover over Alec. Alec's hands were in his hair and they kissed, sloppy and slow. When Alec took Jace's bottom lips between his teeth Jace was lost. Pleasure and need shot through him and mixed with his desire to take care of Alec.

Breaking the kiss he moved up a little and positioned himself at Alec's entrance. As he started to push in Alec gasped quietly. He kept pushing in and Alec spilled a single tear, his face warped in pleasure. Jace bottomed out. Alec was tightly wrapped around him, squeezing him in all the right ways.

"You feel so good babe," he whispered in Alec's ear.

"You too," Alec breathed and how low his voice sounded nearly made him lose it for good.

Barely controlled, arms and legs trembling, Jace pulled out nearly all the way. He knew Alec's body so well now, so when he drove back in Jace knew exactly where to hit Alec to make him see stars. And he kept doing it, every thrust aimed at Alec's sweet spot.

He continued to whisper sweet nothings into Alec's ear as he moved in and out of him.

"You're so good for me babe," Jace moaned. "So tight, so beautiful. Let me make you feel good. Let me show you what love is."

Jace's thrusts were slow and deep. He felt Alec's desperation before he heard his sob. The last couple of days had been emotional overload for both of them, but especially Alec. Jace wanted nothing more but help him let go, make him feel better. Every time Jace hit Alec's prostate he drew another sob from him and soon Alec's tears were flowing freely. His hands were clutching Jace tightly, one fisting his hair, the other on his left hip, thumb digging into their rune there.

Part of Jace wanted to stop and just hold Alec.

"Please don't stop," Alec begged, surely feeling Jace's doubt.

And in no world Jace could possibly deny him. He continued to move inside of him, deliberately slow, as Alec poured pain and desperation and gratitude into their bond.

Jace wrapped a hand around Alec's cock and started to give it long, slow strokes.

Before he knew it the flood of emotions and pleasure coming from Alec carried him away and he was crying too. He didn't know if it was because of Alec or his own grief or their love. None of it mattered now as their very souls tangled and he was Alec and Alec was him. They were one and sadness was pushed away by the joy of two parts of the same soul fusing together.  

Alec was all around him, in every single way. The slick heat and the delicious, pulsing pressure of his inner walls overwhelmed Jace and for a moment nothing existed but the place where their bodies were deeply connected. A great tension built inside of them, a tautness that required nothing but release.

Jace bit into Alec's shoulder to muffle a scream when their pleasure peaked. Their whole world was violently convulsing with the force of their climax, untamed energy barely contained in their bodies. Their minds went blank as their bodies relished in uncontrollable spasms. It came over them in seemingly endless waves, surge after surge carrying them forwards. There was nothing else that existed, nothing else that mattered.

Jace didn't know how long it had lasted when he finally came back to his senses. They kept holding onto each other, indifferent to the sticky mess they had made between them. They exchanged lazy kisses as they became languid and sleepy.

It was Jace who got up in the end to get a wet cloth from the bathroom to clean them. Alec was already half asleep when Jace gently wiped him clean. He quietly wiped himself too before he dropped the cloth next to the bed and switched off the last remaining light.

Tired and sated he pulled the duvet over them and spooned Alec from behind, nestling his face to Alec's neck. Alec clasped their hands and Jace place a little kiss to his neck.

The shipped rocked slightly with the waves. It was strange to think about where they were. A mundane cruise ship in the middle of the Atlantic. Their lives had changed forever. Jace had known that, of course, but now that they were in this strange, unfamiliar environment it began to sink in. Nothing would ever be the same again.

It had been a rough couple of days with little rest and they badly needed a good night's sleep. Feeling Alec's heartbeat next to his own, smelling his scent, was as soothing as the knowledge that at least for the next week the Clave would not be able to find them.

Jace knew that Alec was still absolutely raw emotionally and he could only hope his presence would soothe his parabatai at least a little. Alec's body was warm and Jace drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

***

Over the next week, they used the amenities of the ship, had massages at the spa, swam in the pool, took tennis lessons, learnt an awful lot about mundanes by watching their movies in the on-board cinema, had too many drinks and slow danced in the ballroom.

Linda and Richard were unknowingly great teachers in all things mundane. Jace had thought that he had learnt a lot from Simon and especially Clary but apparently there was so much more. In the process, he got an appreciation for how difficult it must have been for Jocelyn to adjust to mundane life and he respected her all the more for it.

After a week on board the MS Atlantica, they were ready for solid ground under their feet again. They were also itching to contact their families and friends in New York, getting an update as to what had happened in their absence.

The ship was due to arrive in Southampton in the early morning so as they approached the harbour they activated each other's blocking runes to avoid being tracked. They had used the week on the ship to plan their route from Southampton to Geneva. For that, the maps in the ship's library had been invaluable. The important thing was to avoid London and Paris as there were Institutes in both cities and chance encounters with other Shadowhunters were more likely in those cities, even if Jace and Alec managed to avoid being tracked.

The rising sun was hidden behind grey clouds as the MS Atlantica reached the harbour of Southampton. It took quite a while for the ship to dock and the passengers to begin disembarking.

As Jace and Alec got off the ship with their luggage a shock bolted through Jace. His head snapped over to Alec who was staring at the cruise terminal. He followed Alec's gaze and there they were. Five Shadowhunters standing on top of the large terminal building. One of them stood out, a curvy young woman with a deep tan and a long thick braid of black hair that fell over her shoulder. She seemed to be in charge and she was talking to the others, and Jace knew that she had spotted them when she pointed at him and Alec.

"Dammit," Jace cursed.

"They are glamoured," Alec said quietly, "and we aren't. Let's use it to our advantage. We'll just move with the crowd. With that many mundanes around us, it's impossible for them to attack."

"There's certainly more of them on the perimeter," Jace said.

"Maybe," Alec replied, "but we might be in luck. I don't think they knew we were coming, they would have sent more people. The Clave probably just made some assumptions about how we could have left New York. They much have stationed people at every airport and harbour. There are several Institutes in the area here - London, Cornwall and Cardiff are all fairly close, so the Clave is likely watching all the ports along the coast where ships from New York arrive."

They walked along the berth, towards immigration and the car park. The Shadowhunters on top of the cruise terminal building followed them.

Once the had walked past the ship Jace glanced over to the berth on the opposite side. There were three more Shadowhunters over there.

Jace and Alec shielded themselves in the immigration queue by staying in the middle line, using the mundanes on their left and right as literal human shields. Like this the other Shadowhunters would never dare to attack.

"I never thought I'd have to hide behind mundies," Jace mumbled.

When it was their turn they barely showed their Swiss passports to the border control officer and were on their way.

Past immigration the situation got more difficult as the crowd coming from the ship started to disperse. The Shadowhunters were now closing in from the right and the left as the team on the terminal building started to jump down onto the tarmac.

"There are taxis," Jace said and nodded towards the car park, which was less than a minute's walk away, and they moved briskly towards it.

There were still a few people around them. They rushed through the gate in wire-mesh fence of the car park and rushed to the first taxi. Jace smiled at the driver who lowered his window.

"We need to go to Portsmouth," Jace said.

The guy nodded and Alec threw their luggage into the boot.

Jace climbed into the back seat of the car and Alec swiftly followed on the other side and they slammed the doors shut. The driver turned on the engine and slowly pulled out of the car park.

"We're in a bit of a hurry," Jace said.

"Will do my best," the driver said as he drove onto the road.

"What do we do now?" Jace asked quietly. "They have surely informed Idris already as well as the rest of the shadow world. The South of England is going to be swarming with Shadowhunters portaling in from everywhere."

"Let's avoid direct confrontation as much as possible, no need to anger the Clave even more."

"But how do we keep moving?" Jace asked. "Using water transportation as much as possible so they can't track us is all good and well, but it's pointless if it means they are going to be waiting for us now at every port."

"Not if we glamour ourselves," Alec said.

"True. Valentine fooled me and everyone else for years glamoured as Michael Wayland. But then again he had injected himself with demon blood, his glamour was exceptionally strong," Jace argued.

"Ours would be too," Alec countered.

The taxi driver had started to throw them weird looks through the rear-view mirror. Jace turned around in his seat to throw a look through the rear window. There was no car particularly close to them, but there were definitely other vehicles behind them.

"I bet they're following us," Alec said.

"Yeah," Jace agreed.

Jace kept looking and there were a couple of taxis that remained on their tail for a while.

"Let's get dropped in a country area and face them," Jace said. "We'll knock them out."

"It could end deadly," Alec argued.

"For them."

"We don't want that," Alec said.

"If we go all the way to Portsmouth they will confront us there. They will know where we are and they will be able to guess where we are heading. The Clave would send reinforcement after reinforcement. We need to face them out in the country," Jace said.

Alec pulled out his phone and opened the map.

"There's an area North of Fareham that's just farmland with a little bit of forest," he said.

"Let's go for it," Jace said.

Alec leaned forward and told the driver, "Actually, get off the M27 at Fareham and take Boarhunt road. You can drop us there."

"Alright pal," the guy said.

They kept looking behind them as their taxi slid left to get off the motorway. Three other taxis followed them off the main road.

"Whatever happens," Jace said, "remember that they're making us do it."

Once off the motorway, they went past a car park and a small industrial area and were soon driving past green fields.

"Here is good," Jace said.

"You're sure?" the driver asked. "It is the middle of nowhere."

There was nothing but the road, fields, a few wooded areas further away along with electrical towers, the next houses and settlements were far enough in the distance. It was perfect.

"Yeah just drop us here," Jace said.

The driver stopped the taxi and Alec pulled out some money to pay for the ride while Jace already jumped out of the car and got their suitcases out of the boot. He threw their luggage into the tall grass on the side of the road and started to pull out their weapons.

Their taxi had barely taken off when the cars that had tailed them arrived and stopped. Jace and Alec were just picking up the last of their weapons when Shadowhunters spilled out of the two vehicles. The cars left as quickly as they had come. Everybody glamoured themselves. Better to be invisible to mundane eyes.

Jace and Alec backed further into the grass as eight Shadowhunters came towards them, making their way through the field.

"Alec Lightwood and Jace Herondale," the woman with the braid said, "by order of the Clave, you are under arrest for committing the crime of eros."

"I don't think so," Jace said.

"Resistance is futile," she said, "Idris is already informed of our location and there are more of us coming. Surrender now. If you fight your charges will be upped to high treason and you will face the death penalty."

There was a strong uncertainty coming from Alec. Jace knew he didn't want to fight the Clave. Alec had always been loyal to the Clave, even if he had to do things that weren't right. Fighting the Clave openly was against everything Alec believed in. They could be forced to kill.

"If you don't want to fight …," Jace said to him quietly.

"Don't ever doubt me, parabatai," Alec told him.

"I promised to protect you with my life and I will."

"Me too."

"Facilis descensus averno," Jace said.

He reached for Alec's neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss and the power of their bond hit them like an electric whiplash. A loud gasp came from the group of Shadowhunters. The kiss was just a brush of the lips but in front of the other Shadowhunters, it meant everything, it was a confession and a gesture of utter defiance.

Jace and Alec both drew their pair of Seraph blades and stood back to back as the enemy circled them.

Jace activated their runes: equilibrium, agility, stamina, precision and heightened speed. Maybe it was overkill but in an eight against two fight, he wasn't going to take any chances.

He easily fell into sync with Alec and the energy of their bond flared up.

A tall and rangy Shadowhunter surged forward, Seraph blade lifted, ready to strike. Jace parried the blow and the guy stumbled back. Jace jumped and kicked two other approaching Shadowhunters in the chest, the force sending them to the ground. The rangy one was back on his feet and attacked again, but Jace landed another powerful kick. The guy landed on the floor, his blade flew out of his hand.

Behind Jace Alec was holding his own. The two of them were moving in perfect harmony. Jace was perfectly aware of what Alec would do before he even moved.

Jace fended off another blow, but then he didn't turn fast enough. The next one cut his upper arm. It cost him a moment but Jace activated his iratze. The wound healed immediately.

Wielding his blades he kept his attackers at bay. But that was not going to be enough, there were more coming soon, it was going to be too many. They were coming for him and Alec. Jace knew what he had to do.

His next blow was lethal. It beheaded the rangy Shadowhunter. A scream tore through the air from behind him, it was the woman with the braid. For a moment Jace closed his eyes in remorse. It wasn't right to kill his own people, but there was nothing he wouldn't do to protect Alec. Anyone who posed a threat to Alec now had it coming.

Three Shadowhunters attacked him at once. Jace had trouble blocking them. He parried two attackers with his own blades, pushed them off, then jumped. There was a girl with short black hair. Jace looked into her green eyes as one of his blades knocked her weapon out of her hand. His other blade went right through her chest.

He has numb as he pulled the blade from her dead body, dripping with blood. He knew Alec had made his first kill when sorrow overcame him and it distracted him for just a second, long enough for a huge guy to almost land a lethal strike to his neck. Alec swirled around and blocked it at the very last second. It left his right undefended and he was nearly struck too, but this time Jace was there, fending off the fierce woman with the braid.

She took a step back, then struck again. It was a low blow aimed at his hip, Jace barely dodged it with a jump to the side. A young Shadowhunter with wild blond hair swung his blade, Jace stumbled back. The blade nearly cut his throat.

Behind him, Alec was in a frenzy. Groans and screams filled the air, then two more bodies hit the ground. Jace took no pleasure in their victories, they killed to protect each other. Their bond spurred them on. Five down, three to go.

It was easier than it should be. Their enemies were raging at them. Jace swung his blades. He was battling the woman and the young blond with one arm each. Blades rattled behind him. Until they didn't. The gruesome sound of tearing flesh was all that was left. And then Alec was by his side.

The woman with the braid was tough, she wasn't going to go down easy, but the blond boy looked nothing but scared.

The woman wielded her blade, but Jace eluded her strike. He let himself fall and used the momentum to kick her legs out from under her. In one swift move, he was on top of her. A split second later his blade was buried deep in her chest.

He looked up. Alec was still busy with the blonde boy, who backed away more and more, driven by Alec. Eventually, he jumped back, tossed his blade aside and ran. Jace jumped up to run after him, but Alec held him back.

"Let the kid run," Alec said. "The Clave already knows where we are, no point chasing him down."

Jace nodded. It took them a moment to calm down as they walked away from the blood drenched field. They were themselves covered in dirt and blood.

"We need to get away from here as quickly as possible," Alec said and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling us a taxi to take us to Portsmouth."

While Alec made the call, Jace picked up their luggage and stored some of their weapons inside, but they would keep at least their Seraph blades on them for now, in case there was another unpleasant encounter. They cast a glamour so that the mundane that was bound to pick them up wouldn't drive off in terror when they saw what the two of them really looked like after the battle.

They picked up their bags and started walking towards the motorway. When a little later a taxi pulled up beside them the driver saw nothing but two elderly Asian ladies waiting for their ride. The Clave would never suspect them behind this glamour.

***

Alec and Jace were nothing but relieved when their glamour worked and they boarded the ferry from Portsmouth to St Malo, France. They had constantly worried about more Shadowhunters showing up, which did happen, and their glamour being uncovered, which didn't happen.

But they had been on edge the whole day, hadn't even dared to call Isabelle or Clary yet, too worried about being detected. Calling home was postponed until they reached the safety of the wards of Geneva.

Their cabin on the boat was a lot less comfortable than the one they had had on the MS Atlantica. The couch in their cabin turned into a bed at night that was barely wide enough to count as a double. Not that they wanted any space between them anyway.

They had had a quick shower together and were finally in bed. Alec wrapped his arms around Jace, kissed his forehead. It was insane how much his life had changed. He had started out as a - mostly - law-abiding Shadowhunter, was appointed head of the Institute, only to become, along with Jace, the Clave's most wanted criminal. Valentine was the only competition they could have had and the man was dead.

It was hard to digest for Alec how he had lost his mother and had turned into a killer. Today he had put to death several of his fellow Nephilim. He had never wanted that.

"They didn't give us a choice," Jace said, sensing his unease. "None of this would have happened if the Clave had simply left us alone. If eros wasn't a crime, we would have lived in peace inside the New York Institute. They are hunting us down for no good reason and force us to defend ourselves."

"I'm wondering if the Clave was right after all," Alec said. "We are wreaking havoc. I feel guilty. Those people today didn't have to die."

"I feel guilty too," Jace said, "but what happened today is not on us, it’s on the Clave. If they want to fight, they get a fight."

"They will start sending warlocks. We both know that together we could defeat a large number of Shadowhunters. If they push us hard enough and our fear for each other in battle grows too much we will have the energy to blast them, so they will send warlocks to deal with us. And according to history that doesn't end well."

"Let's just try and get to Geneva without any other incidents," Jace said. "Hopefully they won't figure out where we are and we can let everything calm down."

"Don't know how long it will take until we're not wanted dead or alive anymore."

He held Jace in his arms, his hands caressing Jace's hair, his skin. They were going through rough times but being with Jace made everything better, it made even the worst of it worth it.

***

Arriving at the harbour of St Malo they activated their blocking runes and glamoured themselves as a middle-aged couple. And so they slipped past a number of Shadowhunters waiting at the port. At least they had learnt their lesson.

The train station was a quick taxi ride away. They bought their train ticket to Lyon where they would have to change to another train going to Geneva. It would be a long ride.

"We'd be so much faster if we could go via Paris," Jace sighed as they sat down to wait for their train.

"Or if we could drive a car," Alec said.

"You know, maybe we should learn how to drive, get our licences," Jace said. "It'd be useful in the mundane world. "

"I'm not sure I would trust your driving."

"Haven’t I proven myself to be a careful, responsible person?" Jace asked.

"My point exactly."


	11. All The Legends Are True

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The exterior of the mansion in this chapter is based on Villa Salagnon in Lake Geneva, albeit elsewhere in the lake than described in the story. Feel free to google some pictures, it's beautiful

Diovis hadn't lied, the wards around Geneva were strong. Jace felt them as they approached the French-Swiss border on the train. He pulled Alec in for a quick kiss - just to be safe. They easily slid through the thick wards and called Diovis agreed on a meeting point.

Their train rolled into the central station just after eight o'clock in the evening. They walked out of the station with their luggage in tow and headed northeast.

Geneva was a world away from New York. The town was quiet. Although - that was the wrong word, Jace thought. The small city, perched on the shores of Lake Geneva was peaceful.  

They made their way through the streets of Geneva and it was when they turned from Rue Philippe-Plantamour onto Place Jean-Marteau that they saw the lake for the first time. In the dwindling light, the water reflected hues of sky blue and glowing gold. They crossed Quai Wilson and joined elderly couples and young families strolling the promenade along the waterfront.

They were supposed to meet Diovis around here but there was nobody who looked even remotely like a warlock. Waiting around for a few minutes they must have looked a little lost standing there with their luggage as a hale old man briskly walking their way asked them, "Puis-je vous aider?" - Can I help you?

Alec looked like he was about the politely decline when the silver fox broke out into a broad grin and pulled a startled Alec into a hug.

"Oh, I do believe so, Mr Freewater," he said.

Jace had never seen a warlock that looked old. All warlocks eventually stopped ageing at some point, normally sometime between their twenties and their forties, but Diovis could easily be seventy with his grey hair and neatly trimmed white beard, deep lines giving his face character, only his thick eyebrows were still black.

"It is good to finally see you boys," Diovis said, a slight foreign accent colouring his words. He proceeded to squeeze Jace with the same enthusiasm he had shown for Alec.

"It's good to see you too," Jace said.

"We're so glad to be here," Alec said. "Thank you for all your help."

"Oh it is nothing," Diovis replied with a dismissive gesture. "I was getting bored here anyway. But let me take you to Lake Haven."

"Lake Haven?" Alec asked.

"My villa," Diovis said. "It is on a small island on the lake, over there, just off the L-shaped pier here. As you know being on the water prevents tracking, hence the location. The island is glamoured very well, if I may say so myself, you really have to focus to see it."

There was only the pier, cluttered with boats, the lake with its huge Jet d'Eau fountain on the opposite shore and the French Alps in the backdrop. Jace squinted. There was no island, no villa. But then he saw it, not far from the shore. The cream-coloured villa sat on top of a small, green island surrounded by a wall protecting it from flooding. The villa was a two-story building, the ground floor rectangular with a second, square story on top of it creating two balconies for the upper floor, one facing North, the other South.

They walked along the pier to its very end and climbed into one of the boats.

"I have three boats," Diovis said, "you can use them as you please to go back and forth between Lake Haven and the mainland. One of them is a paddle boat, if you don't like to drive or you do want some exercise, feel free to use that one."

Diovis started the engine and they crossed the short distance from the pier to the island. The boat went around the in greenery covered walls until the opening of the boathouse, nearly hidden from sight by overspilling ivy, came into view. Slowly, the boat went into it. Two other boats were already inside, near the back of the long boathouse. The art nouveau ceiling was a glass and metal construction, ornamented with glowing lanterns and metal flower embellishments. Diovis tied the boat to the posts along the wooden pier that lined one side of the boathouse.

Jace and Alec followed Diovis along the pier and onto a set of steps to the right. The stairs led them out of the boathouse and onto a short gravel walk that ended at the steps to the imposing entrance at the centre of the long side of the villa. The wrought iron glass door was tall and a coat of arms featuring an eagle and a bull adorned it. Lanterns shone on either side of the marble door frame and the art nouveau letters on the entablature read 'Lake Haven'. The windows on the floor above were tall as doors and had Juliet balconies.

They left their luggage at the main entrance as Diovis showed them around the small island. Taking the gravel walk on the left of the main entrance they went along the house, past trees and shrubbery. Leaves rustled in the gentle breeze and the earthy scent of the garden surrounded them. They arrived at a small platform with a white cast iron garden table and matching chairs, from where there was a stunning view of the lake and the mountains behind it.

Just a view steps further on the short side of the villa they found a covered patio extending the villa. The two doors that led onto the terrace belonged to the dining room and the lounge as Diovis explained. A Greek statue stood in a niche between the two doors and four ionic pillars carried the roof over the patio and a balustrade surrounded it with the exception of the central stairs that lead down into the garden. A mosaic covered the patio's floor.

"Dum spiro spero," Jace read the Latin words embedded where the stairs met the patio. While I breathe, I hope.

Down from the patio stairs and back into the garden another set of steps led down to the lake where deep blue water burbled against the stairs with the ripples of the lake.

"And over here," Diovis said as he looked up from the steps and pointed at a tall mountain covered in snow between a couple of green hills across the lake, "you can see Mont Blanc in the distance."

What a marvellous place this was.

Turning another corner they walked along the house, past the outside entrance to the kitchen and came to a forward extension in the island wall, formed like a balcony granting a gorgeous view of Geneva. From here the island wall ran closer to the villa and the path narrowed before it turned around the corner of the house again. Facing North there was another set of stairs leading up to an entrance, turning the next corner they were back at the main entrance.

Diovis opened the front door to let them in. They stepped into a large foyer, it was a ballroom, really. White marble covered the floor and an enormous, glistering chandelier hung from the ceiling. To the right, an imposing staircase let to the upper floor.

"Sometimes I feel like having a party," Diovis said, "and if I do, I have them right in here or in the garden."

Jace could easily see way, it was a beautiful space. From the foyer, several double-winged ornate glass doors lead to other rooms.

"Over there to the left," Diovis said, "you have the lounge and the dining room you've just seen from outside. Right across here is the kitchen, and to the right are my personal rooms. I do have two en suite guest bedrooms upstairs, one of them comes with an attached private living room. It has its own balcony too. I have no other guests at the moment so you can move into the suite."

They took their luggage and followed Diovis up the stairs onto the upper floor. He opened the door to a spacious bedroom. The white king sized bed stood between two glass doors that opened onto the balcony. The bed had a sumptuous headboard and at the foot of the bed stood a matching baroque bed bench. The parquet floor stood in beautiful contrast to the blue walls and curtains and the all-white decorative ceiling panels and wood trimmings.

The adjacent living room was of the same style and colours and featured another balcony door. On the other side of the bedroom was the door to the fully equipped bathroom.

"This is perfect," Jace said. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome. I will let you two settle in and see you later downstairs," Diovis said with a smile and left, closing the door behind him.

Jace opened one of the balcony doors and stepped outside. The balcony was huge, the size of their entire suit. Alec followed him outside and they walked up to the balustrade. In front of them was the ivy overgrown cover of the patio and further down the lush garden and the steps that led down to the lake. The sun had set but the bright full moon illuminated the landscape.

Then Alec's hand was on the small of Jace's back as he turned towards him. Jace placed a hand on Alec's nape and gently pulled him in. The kiss tasted of freedom. They had made it, they had escaped the Clave.

***

Back in their new bedroom Jace started unpacking while Alec pulled out his phone to call Isabelle. It had been over a week since they had said goodbye and they hadn't spoken since. Alec had to let Isabelle know that they were safe and he wanted to find out how she was doing. And he wanted information as to what the Clave was up to.

"Hey, it's Alec."

"Oh, thank the Angel. I am so glad you called. How are you?" Isabelle said.

"Good," Alec said. "We're in a safe place now, the Clave won't find us here. But we had a horrible run-in with them in England," Alec said.

"I heard," Isabelle said. "Stay safe. The Clave really wants you dead now."

"I'm afraid so. How are things in New York?"

"Not good," Isabelle said. "Once Jia arrived it didn't take her long to figure out that you were on the run. She placed the entire institute under house arrest, took the soul sword and had everyone interrogated."

"I'm so sorry."

"Clary and I are the only two Shadowhunters in New York still under house arrest. We're both on trial for high treason and face deruning," Isabelle said.

"What?"

"Unfortunately so. We knew about you and Jace for many weeks and should have reported the crime early on. That's what Jia said anyway."

"I am so sorry Isabelle," Alec said. "That's the last thing I wanted, we need to help you."

"There is nothing you can do. The important thing is that you and Jace are safe, don’t worry about me and Clary. They might decide against deruning us and we still need to wait for the trial anyway. Clary is in a better position than me because she didn't know you were on the run. And of course, after killing Valentine and preserving the wish she is the heroine of the shadow world - I don't think they will touch her."

"What about the other people that knew about us? Magnus? Simon?" Alec asked.

Isabelle was quiet. Eventually, she said, "They found out Underhill knew, but only for a day or two before Jia and her entourage arrived in New York so they let him go. Simon will be put on trial too, but he will probably come out of it okay, I don't think he will be punished."

"And Magnus?"

"Magnus … is in the City of Bones," Isabelle said.

"No! Why?"

"He knew from the beginning and the Clave argues that he ought to have reported the crime. For now, he's awaiting trial just like the rest of us. The Clave would go after the Seelies as well but the door to their realm is firmly shut."

Magnus was locked up in the City of Bones, subjected to who knows what. Alec's mouth went dry.

"And how are you holding up?" Alec asked.

"I survive, but I'll admit it's hard. Mum's dead, my boyfriend is in the City of Bones, my father and my baby brother live on the other side of the country and you and Jace are fugitives set to be executed if the Clave finds and arrests you."

"I wish there was something I could do for you. How can I help? I don't want any of you in this horrible situation," Alec said.

"Please just stay safe," Isabelle said. "At least then all of it is worth something. And I don't want you to worry about me, I still got Clary here with me. We keep each other company while we can't leave the Institute."

"Just please let me know if you, now or later, can think of anything I can do to help you. I don't want you to get deruned, you deserve better."

***

The phone call with Isabelle had been sobering, Alec loathed himself. First, his actions had driven his mother to commit suicide, then he had killed several of his fellow Nephilim and now his family and friends were to be put on trial, were under house arrest or worse, in the City of Bones, and due to be deruned or imprisoned for a long, long time. How could he not hate himself?

Jace called Clary too, apologised to her for having lied to her when she had called them on the ship. But of course, she understood, Jace had only wanted to protect her.

"Are you going to call Imogen as well?" Alec asked once Jace had finished his call.

Jace shook his head. "It will only put her in more danger, she has already done things that could get her in trouble like delaying the search for us."

"I hate that other people are paying the price for our happiness," Alec said.

"Me too," Jace said. "And we will make it up to them when we get the opportunity."

There was no way Alec could ever make it up to his mother. Unwilling to think about it he said, "Let's go downstairs."

They left their guest suite and took the stairs to the foyer. The double-winged door straight ahead of them was wide open. They crossed the foyer and entered the lounge.

It was just as enormous as the foyer. The room looked old-fashioned, in the best possible way: chandeliers hung from the ceiling and a large marble fireplace dominated the wall diagonally opposite the double-winged glass door that opened onto the patio. Vintage lamps stood on antique tables, a French baroque commode carried a Louis XVI clock and two ceramic vases overflowing with lilies. Bookshelves ran along the walls. A wide archway opened the lounge to a dining room that was just as grandiose. In the middle of the lounge, between the fireplace and the archway, a vast rug covered the ebony board floor where two cream-coloured couches and a couple of matching armchairs were clustered around an antique coffee table.

Diovis was sitting in an armchair and talking to a woman on the opposite couch. Her wavy dark hair fell over her shoulder in a ponytail as she animatedly talked to Diovis. She wore a knee-length white summer dress with a golden belt that elegantly emphasized her waist. She was middle-aged and very attractive.

"Excuse me, dear," Diovis said when he saw Alec and Jace coming into the room, "these are my new guests, Mr Alec and Jace Freewater from New York."

"Are you hosting fugitives again?" she said looking at their runes, eyebrows raised. "One day it's going to get you in trouble."

But she smiled when she got up and shook their hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said with undertones of the same foreign accent that Diovis had. Jace couldn't quite place it. It wasn't French.

"Meet my wife," Diovis introduced her.

"I didn't know you were married," Jace blurted out before Alec could stop him.

"We haven't lived together in over a thousand years," she said.

Was she a warlock too? She had to be as she lacked the wet dog smell of a werewolf, the paleness of a vampire and the pointed ears of a Seelie.

"I'm just visiting Geneva," she said. "I have a hotel in town. And it's getting late, I should get going."

"You can always stay the night darling," Diovis said.

"And then what?" she replied as she made her way towards the door. "You'll excuse me for tonight. Goodnight gentlemen."

"She hates me," Diovis whispered at Jace and Alec. "I had way too many affairs over the millennia."

She must have heard it because she turned around and looked at Jace and Alec. "Don't let the old rascal get into your pants, pretty boys, he'll leave you heartbroken."

Jace's jaw dropped and Alec laughed as Diovis chased her out the front door yelling, "How dare you scare my guests! What are they going to think! And at least bring some wine when you come next."

The front door opened and closed and Diovis was shaking his head when he came back into the lounge.

"Please excuse us," he said, "my wife never stopped her impromptu visits, she likes checking in on me when I least expect it. But do take a seat, I believe we have a lot to talk about."

Jace sat down on the couch facing the fireplace and Alec followed him. He couldn't help but smile when Jace wrapped a possessive arm around his shoulders. Diovis mumbled something along the lines of "I guess I will need to make my own drinks" as he sat down and snapped his fingers. A glass of whiskey appeared in everyone's hand.

"Here is to freedom," he said and raised a toast.

"To freedom," Alec said and raised his glass as well, Jace following suit.

They all took a sip. "By the way," Diovis said as he put his glass down, "I want you to know that you can stay as long as you like. Nephilim only live to eighty, ninety years of age and you are already in your twenties, you might as well stay for the rest of it."

They must have given him a shocked look because he quickly apologised, "Oh I am sorry, I should not have mentioned your mortality. I tend to forget that it is a touchy subject for your kind."

"It's fine," Alec said. "We are very thankful for your generous offer. We just don't know how to repay you."

"No need to worry about that," Diovis said. "Knowing how much I am pissing off the Clave by hiding you, is reward enough."

"You must have a complicated history with the Clave," Jace said.

"You could say that," Diovis replied. "I don't get along very well with their so-called highest authority."

"The consul?" Jace asked.

Diovis laughed.

"Not the consul," Alec said. "Raziel."

"Oh, I think there's a misunderstanding," Diovis laughed. "Let me guess, the Clave still thinks that I am a warlock? Calls me the High Warlock of Geneva? It is my own fault, really, I never made the effort to correct them."

"You're not a warlock?" Jace asked. "But the wards around Geneva, the glamour surrounding this island. You just made that whiskey appear out of nowhere."

But Jace stopped. The wards around Geneva had been unusually thick. The glamour surrounding the island had been so perfect he had struggled to see through it. Warlocks only ever altered things, never created them out of thin air. He hadn't seen Diovis' warlock mark. Or his wife's.

Diovis smiled. "All the legends are true."


	12. Thy God Will Be My God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are a strong Christian, Jew or Muslim, you might find this chapter offensive. Religious views expressed in this chapter do NOT represent my own, they belong to the characters in this fic, they are here as a plot point and are not meant to offend anyone.

"You probably think that my name is Jove Blitz or Diovis Foudre. Those are the names I have used around the human world. But I am Zeus."

"You're named after a Greek god?" Alec asked puzzled.

"My wife's name is Hera."

"Wait," Jace said. "What?"

"You are an ancient Greek god?" Alec asked.

The accent made sense now.

"Did it never strike you as odd," Zeus said, "that the parabatai oath says 'thy god will be my god' when Nephilim do not believe in or worship any god? Up until very recently they were not even convinced their own Angels existed."

"It has actually crossed my mind," Alec said. "Back in New York, I found a book about parabatai. It was the only one that I founded that didn't condemn what Jace and I did. The book had included the parabatai oath, but there were a couple of lines missing from it  - 'The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me'. Those two lines weren't there, I noticed that immediately. I thought it was weird that the reference to the Angel was removed, but not the reference to a god or gods."

"Was the book titled 'The Bond'?" Zeus asked.

"How do you know?" Alec asked.

"I wrote that book, had people hide copies inside Institutes and in the very halls of Alicante, so that it can serve parabatai who need help. Parabatai who have been told that their love is wrong when it is nothing but right, who need to know how to control and use their powers. And it is not that I removed those lines, they were never intended to be part of the oath in the first place."

"I'm not following," Jace said.

"It all started when Raziel turned the first human into a Nephilim," Zeus explained. "I was not too pleased. It was another ploy of the Abrahamic god - call him Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, the Holy Spirit or whatever you want - to widen his influence. Sure, demons continue to be a problem, but there were other options."

"Hang on. Allah, Yahweh and the Christian God exist too?" Jace asked.

"Yes of course he exists," Zeus said. "And he is just one god who uses different names, like myself. Zeus, Jupiter, it is all the same to me. Jehovah and I, we have met, of course, and we are not exactly friends. I am not going to paint him as evil, that I will leave that to Lucifer. But we do compete for a limited resource."

"And what is that?" Jace asked.

"Faith. We gods draw a large part of our power from the faith, prayers and sacrifices of our believers. Even without it, we are still mightier than even the most powerful warlock, but there is a big difference between a god who has four billion believers and one that has virtually none."

"I thought gods were supposed to be almighty," Alec said.

Zeus guffawed. "That is what we would like everyone to believe, especially Jehovah."

"And aren’t you meant to live up on Mount Olympus or something?" Jace asked.

"That trekking peak?" Zeus laughed. "No, we all like to live among humans, some of us are just more open about it, at least temporarily, think Krishna or Jesus."

"But to come back to the parabatai bond," Zeus said, "I did not like it when Jehovah had Raziel create the first Nephilim, it was another one of his ploys. But I could not ever openly fight Jehovah himself. Over the millennia I had many reasons to go to war against him but I always needed to protect my family, my children.

Now Jehovah is known for implementing rigid, undemocratic systems. The 'divine right of kings' that asserted monarchy in Europe for centuries. Modern day countries that call themselves republics when they are really just theocracies. Islam, Judaism and Christianity all dictate the way people should live.

You will forgive me if I saw the trouble with the Clave coming. It was formed not long after the first Nephilim were created. You both know its nonsense laws that claim to protect but only oppress. The Clave became an inhumane organisation almost immediately and its brutality did not stand out in the Dark Ages with everything else that was going on - crusades, burning people at the stake, serfdom, wars, but it is painfully obvious now, anyone living in a Western country in this day and age can see it. You know what they do to people, to your own family and friends. It is pure despotism.

So I came up with a ploy of my own. It was me who gave the Nephilim the parabatai bond. A pair of soldiers whose bond was so close that it multiplied their love and in turn, their love would grant them unspeakable powers."

Alec had only ever known that the parabatai bond was not of Angelic origin. What he had learnt was that it was created by the first Shadowhunters themselves. But how would they have known about a concept that dated back to ancient Greece and had long been out of practice? More lies of the Clave.  

"I gave Nephilim the parabatai bond for their sake and for the sake of my family. A parabatai's first loyalty would always be to each other, it would override the loyalty towards their own kind and whatever organisational structure - which turned out to be the Clave - Nephilim would eventually develop. I created the parabatai bond so that the Nephilim had a way to protect themselves against the growing power of the Clave and that my family and I had a counter-weight to Jehovah's ever-growing empire.

When the full power of a pair of parabatai comes to fruition they often realise they had the power to do something about the tyranny of the Clave and their suppressive, cruel laws. And if the parabatai wanted to, they could fight.

But I never told parabatai what to do and I never will. My daughter Athena and I are the founders of democracy, we gave the idea to the people of Athens in ancient Greece. I want people to make their own decisions.

If parabatai want to fight the Clave, I support them, if not, I am fine with that as well. Although the Clave is an organisation that makes it easy to dislike it, so that works in my favour. When eros was still legal parabatai with their increased power kept the tyrannic council in check.

At the same time, their strength was a huge advantage for the Clave when it came to fighting demons and keeping Downworlders under control. That is why parabatai bonds are still formed today, even though eros has been banned.

Eros still happens. Because that is how the bond is meant to be, unconditional love that overcomes everything, including oppression and tyranny. Parabatai are my Trojan horses to take the Clave apart from the inside."

"Wow," Jace said, "I do feel used here, and I do want to be mad at you, but I'm not. I can't, because you're right. We were always led to believe that the Clave is on the good side of things, but that is the greatest lie. They are onto us, onto our families and friends."

Zeus nodded. "I want you to know that I do not expect anything from you," he said. "Whatever you do, I will support you. My offer stands, you can stay here with me, or elsewhere in Geneva if you prefer, for as long as you want, for as long as you live even. I created the parabatai bond and put you in this situation. Therefore I will protect you."

Alec said, "There was a revolution against the Clave in the 14th century lead by a pair of parabatai. It led to the prohibition of eros. Why did the parabatai fail?"

"Gods are not omniscient," Zeus said, "regardless of what many of us want you to believe. Lines of communication were slow in that day and age. By the time I heard about their attempt to overthrow the Clave they were already dead. They would have made it with my support, I am sure.

It is why I moved to Geneva in the end, to be closer to Idris, yet far enough from any Institute. Two thousand years ago I left Greece for Rome and I lived there for centuries and even after the Roman empire became Christian. But then the Vatican established itself there and soon there were Institutes in both Rome and Vatican City. It was too much and I knew I could be of better use if I was closer to Idris. Little did I know that the next revolution would come from the New World.

Your bond is very strong now, that it is complete. Physical distance will not weaken it anymore, estrangement is highly unlikely. You can even track each other safely through your bond now, it won’t weaken it.

I cannot help you openly, it would endanger my family, but there is a lot I can teach you. How you could defeat the Clave if you wanted to. How to tap even further into the divine power of your bond."

"We have divine power?" Alec asked.

"Oh yes," Zeus said. "The Clave claims parabatai in love can wield magic. Well, they do not, Nephilim are not suited for magic. Parabatai carry divine power in themselves. It is by the grace of their love and myself. The idea, of course, upsets Raziel and the Clave. They are not fond of human love to begin with and especially not eros. You can imagine how much the idea of eros granting divine power upsets them. Which is why they made up a whole array of lies about the bond."

"Is anything the Clave has told us about the parabatai bond true?" Jace asked.

"Most of it is not," Zeus replied. "They tell you that your new powers will drive you insane. They will not. They made up stories saying you will burn with heavenly fire. No, you will not. Why on earth would I build that into the bond? The Clave even goes as far and claims there is a curse that you will turn into enormous horrid black creatures and make you destroy everything and everyone you love. It is nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense conceived to deter parabatai from completing their bond. Countless parabatai have not experienced the love and joy of a completed bond because the Clave scared them with its ludicrous lies and cruel threats."

***

It was a lot to digest for Jace. They were lying in bed, Alec spooning him from behind, legs tangled and fingers entwined. No one would ever make him feel protected like Alec did. But Jace's thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of everything he had learned this evening. He could tell that Alec's mind was churning just as much.

"Do you think when the Seelie Queen made us kiss she not only wanted to get Magnus on her side, but also wanted us to turn against the Clave?" Jace asked.

"It's possible," Alec said. "She is old enough to know about the parabatai that have fought the Clave before. Making us kiss and telling Magnus about the soul sword changed his loyalties, she counted on that. If we then turned against the Clave in pursuit of our relationship, it was an added bonus for her. A big one."

"It does explain why she never used the leverage she had against us. She didn't want to get her hands dirty and tell the Clave herself about us," Jace said. "I bet she knew how close one kiss would draw us. Of course she did, if she knew that eros and love are the endgame of the parabatai bond."

He turned around in Alec's arms and placed a kiss on his lips.

Jace said, "She couldn't go straight to the Clave and tell them 'look I made your parabatai kiss, now punish them', it doesn't work that way. But she could sit back and wait for things to develop between us, let our power grow and let us come to the conclusion ourselves that the Clave is the villain here. It's not that different from Zeus' motivation, except that she is really dastard. Zeus is more genuine and he is upfront about the purpose of the bond."

"I agree and I do feel manipulated. But how can I be angry when I can have this," Alec said and captured Jace's lips. Jace responded, letting Alec in, tasting him in a gentle, slow kiss.

"I don't care so much how we ended up here and how it might serve other people," Alec said quietly against Jace’s lips. "I just care that we have our bond, that I can be close to you. At the end of the day that is all that matters."

"Agreed" Jace said, hugging Alec tighter. "Not many people have a person that they can count on for the rest of their lives. I will always be with you, Alec."

"And I with you."

"Do you want to make the Clave's fear of us a self-fulfilling prophecy?" Jace asked, searching Alec's eyes. "Take them down?"

"Why?" Alec asked. "Because if they had let us be we would still be in New York with your family and friends? Because mum would still be alive? Because Isabelle and Clary wouldn't be on trial? For high treason at that? Because Magnus wouldn't be locked up and tormented in the City of Bones? You want to tear the Clave apart because we now have a literal god on our side? You bet we'll do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! The end of Trojan Horses. Thanks for making it this far ^^ 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was a passion project that I wrote over a six week period in December and January and subsequently revised and worked on with a handful of beta-readers - THANK YOU to everyone who helped me improve my story and writing. 
> 
> The plot of Trojan Horses had been in my head for months and after Christmas I finally had some time to sit down and write. I came up with idea while reading other Jalec stories - I was over my head into it before I had even watched the show, which I did before I started writing. And to be honest, I had no idea Trojan Horses would be this long. I expected it to be a few chapters, not a novel-length endeavor, but here we are.
> 
> I am leaving the story in a place where there is a (hopefully) satisfying ending as well as room for continuation. I don’t know if I’ll ever write a sequel or more chapters, I am currently knees-deep in writing my first original novel. Trojan Horses showed me that I can do it if I put my mind to it. If I do continue the story, I want to read Cassandra Clare’s books first, especially The Mortal Instruments and The Dark Artifices, so far I’ve only read the first two. 
> 
> As I writer I enormously value my readers positive feedback and constructive criticism as it helps me improve my craft. A big thank you to everyone who has left me comments. Let me know down below how you liked the ending - in hindsight I wonder if a bit more foreshadowing early own would have benefited the story. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Trojan Horses!
> 
> xoxo


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